Reflection In Conducting Reflection

Conducting Reflection This past semester’s experience conducting has proven to be beneficial for my skills on and off the podium. I learned through practicing and class meetings how to make my mind and hands independent from each other. Going into the class, my primary fear was separating the lead hand from the other. The exercises with dynamics and practicing them separately made the desired independence come naturally to me. It is still not where I would like it, but dynamic control has definitely improved throughout the semester. I would prefer to work on my cues and discover different ways of giving them to the musicians. Although I struggled at first, my ability to become conscious of the entire ensemble did improve. I began to think about each instrument and where they were in the ensemble while I was on the podium. However, this does not mean I could hear their individual lines at all

However, my self-efficacy for living on the podium fluctuates like a swinging pendulum. I could be confident in what I ‘m doing one day, when on the next I quiver from anticipation of not giving it my all. Self-efficacy for conducting isn’t something I have much of, but maybe that’s because of my relative freshness to the idea of communicating music to my own ensemble. We had the opportunity to conduct six times this semester and each occasion compelled me to be ecstatic for the chance at improvement, but still convinced my anxiety to rise. I take a positive view on how the opportunity will be presented, but an improvement is still necessary for dismissing my nerves and promising myself that I will enjoy the music being created. Taking time before each piece to close mine and even the musician’s eyes would have an immense impact, allowing my passion to overwhelm the fear of failure at the podium. This is my objective for next semester’s class and something I’ll have to work