Emotional Boundaries Essay

How to Create Emotional Boundaries

The key to any healthy relationship is creating emotional boundaries. It is a skill and unfortunately the majority of us haven’t learned it. Sure, we pick up pieces here and there after seeing others skillfully manage boundaries, for the majority of people this concept is as new as it is challenging. Here’s how to build emotional boundaries and maintain them:

• Identify & Set Your Limits. It’s impossible to set boundaries if you don’t know where your limits are. So, identify them (on a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual level) and know what you feel comfortable tolerating and what leaves you feeling stressed.

• Tune In. There are two feelings that throw up red flags when you start to let your boundaries slip, they are resentment and discomfort. On a scale of one to 10 you’re hitting

When you have a similar communication style as someone else it won’t be too difficult to maintain your boundaries. However, when you deal with someone who doesn’t follow the same style of communication you will need to be direct when it comes to your emotional boundaries. Whether it’s letting your partner know how much time you need with them or without them.

• Permission. You don’t need to feel guilty about maintaining your emotional boundaries, they are healthy and a clear sign of self-respect.

• Self-Awareness. Emotional boundaries really are about understanding your feelings and then honoring them. When you feel yours starting to slip ask yourself why and how you’re going to regain control.

• Your History. Your upbringing may have something to do with your ability to set and maintain boundaries. If you held a caretaker role within your family then you may be quicker to focus on others, which leads to a burn out. Also consider your environment. For example, in a working environment you may put in your eight hours and walk away, but they may be people who work longer which makes you feel guilty about your