Label Lady

1361 Words6 Pages
Labels are powerful. I’m a sister, daughter, niece, cousin, best friend, co-worker, confidant, masochist, volunteer, submissive, girlfriend, bisexual, sadist, polyamorous teacher... wow! What kind of assumptions would one make by reading that sentence? What would happen if I wore a button that listed all of my “labels”? Would I be treated differently? I don’t wear a button. In fact, I feel I have to hide my real self most of the time. Sure, I can tell people I’m bisexual. Men get all excited indulging mindfully in their fantasies, and women either get embarrassed, think I’m hitting on them, or start asking me sex questions. Suddenly I’m Dr. Ruth. Bisexuality wasn’t something that I suddenly “chose”. I didn’t wake up one morning and think, “I’m going to be bisexual today!” It was a natural progression in which I had no control. In my journey through life I’ve tended to be open-minded about my sexuality, among other things. I never considered the fact that I’d just “like boys” or “like girls” - I just “liked everyone.” It was the person who was attractive to me - the gender came later. Chemistry is incredibly important to me - I surround myself with friends and lovers who click with me on a level much higher than just the fact that they are a certain gender. They are far more brilliant, caring, loving, creative, and entertaining than I can put into words. Without the people that have been in my life recently I wouldn’t be in the spot I am in now. This week I added two more labels to my arsenal: bipolar and mental patient. I didn’t choose to be bipolar, but I did choose to become a mental patient. Over the years I’ve perfected the art of being a ‘high-functioning spaz’ as I’ve put it to others. And that’s fine. It was by d... ... middle of paper ... ... me. Today I’m in the middle of these two extremes. I imagine this is what life is like for everyone else. I woke up feeling fine and even sang the entire way to work. I felt excited at the idea that it might rain because I love a good book on a rainy day. It was something to look forward to after work. I didn’t dread getting out of bed at all. I went to work, got things done, and rolled with the punches the average day at an elementary school can bring. I wasn’t annoyed by the small problems that came up, but instead worked through them and made alternate plans. I enjoyed the opportunity to read a book on my lunch break and socialize with co-workers who I otherwise want to punch in the face. I feel normal. I honestly wish I could stay in this mindset all the time, but I know that won’t happen. For now I’m enjoying the calm and finding joy in the little things.
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