Personal Narrative: My Current Development Stage

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My Current Development Stage Can I love? Can I be loved? Am I worthy of love? I am a woman who experienced the anguish of love-loss at a very tender age and these questions capture my prime concern and fear in life. At a young age, I bore the brunt of neglect and abuse from the very caregivers who were supposed to be my protectors. At the age of 16, I was put into foster care. I have experienced tumultuous and dysfunctional intimate relationships in my search for love, connectivity and identity. Now, as a mother, I am learning to give the love I never got. Based on Erickson’s eight stages of development, I am at the sixth stage of development. In this intimacy vs. isolation stage I am learning to develop and share meaningful friendships and …show more content…

I got A’s and B’s in my class and extra-curricular activities. Being good boosted my confidence but I was always set back by the realization that my parents did not love me the same way other parents loved their kids. I also developed insecurities brought about by bullying. I was, in this 3rd stage, industrious yet inferior. My problems manifested themselves full swing when I was placed in foster care at age 16, in my identity vs. role confusion stage of development. I felt disconnected, isolated and alone. I self-medicated with dysfunctional boyfriends and food. I was torn between two families. Being left by my parents cut and burrowed deep within me and silently leeched away at my self esteem, confidence and worth. Despite my identity crisis, I pulled through and I was able to go to college, a feat none of my siblings has been able to accomplish. Currently, in my 6th stage-intimacy vs. isolation, I have looked for love in all the wrong places as I try to find a connection. I have sought solace in therapy, positive thinking, self-help books hoping one will free me from my emptiness. I think I found solace in my child who teaches me to love and make sacrifices each and every day. I am slowly learning to believe in my capacity for love but I am forever scarred by the invisible wound of a lost childhood and abandonment by my

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