Question : Explain the causes for interpersonal attraction in romantic relationships using three different psychological perspectives.
I too had a perfect list. If one had asked me many years ago what it was that I was looking for in a partner, I would have been able to list down the perfect characteristics which I thought would have been ideal for me. There was hardly a question of an attraction, or romantic relationships, or any other inbetweens, but rather a perfect partner for a lasting ideal marriage. This man will be perfect in every way, and will not just walk in to my life, but rather would come as 'the knight in shining armour and sweep me off my feet'. With time I wondered was this really who I was? Is this what I truly wanted? I
…show more content…
According to Huston and Levinger, 'interpersonal attraction' results from 'attitudinal positivity', or a 'favourable attitude' as seen through affection, respect, liking, and love. The strength of liking or loving experienced for another person, be it for friends, family members or any others in general is referred to as interpersonal attraction (Stagnor, 2012). This form of attraction is considered a process that can lead to friendships and romantic relationships, and is an increasingly important area of study in social psychology. (Lodhi, 2014). A 'close relationship' forms as a result of a interaction over a long period of time, in which there is a strong and frequent influence on each other affecting various types of behavior (Ch 28, Interpersonal Relationships). Close relationships including long term intimate or romantic relationships, involve interdependence, intense feelings, committed intent, and overlapping self-concept. Romantic relationships are different in its involvement of 'passion and exclusive commitment' (Fiske 2004 cited in Ch 28: 429). Certain factors that promote formation of close relationships with like and perhaps love, are similarity, self-disclosure, and proximity. People having similar interests and believes are more likely to like each other, leading to consensual validation, which is a feeling of being validated when others believe in the same things. Where there is space for self-disclosure, to be able to communicate freely with reciprocity, there is a better chance for the relationship to last. Lastly with proximity, people tend to develop relationships who are closer to them, and form stronger affinity with those whom they are exposed to more frequently. (Stangor 2011 (intro to psych)). Apart from these, the need to form relationships and the
Critical Evaluationg of Psychological Theories of Interpersonal Attraction Interpersonal Attraction suggests as attraction between people, and although it may not in terms of a romantic relationship scenario as the phrase suggests, it nethertheless suggests an important attraction to create a relationship with a particular person. It may by that we are attracted to a particular person or a social relationship because we find them pleasant or because we find life alone unpleasant or unrewarding. Schacter (1959) conducted a study in which female participants were told that they were going to receive an electric shock in a following experiment. Half of the subjects were told it would be painful and the other half were told it would not be painful. Each group were given the option to wait with another person or on their own for the experiment.
Reproduction in Homo sapiens, as in all animals, is a primary driving force and has been elaborated upon since the beginnings of society. Humans must take part in sexual reproduction to produce offspring, thus initiation behaviors can be studied. Commonly, the male makes advances and the female is the selector, or chooses the mate. For humans, this holds true and behavior is modified to maximize competitive receptability. This phenomenon carries across all cultural boundaries and is deeply rooted in the overall behavior patterns in the people of the culture. People try to refine their natural appearance to maximize mating opportunity. The males attempt to enhance features for success in initiation and females compete for receptability completeness.
You must become one with your partner, so close that you can tell when they are happy or sad just by one look. Does the library carry a book on How To Read Minds or a Dummies Guide to Becoming a Psychic? She refers to this as mutuality, a way to of understanding your significant other that in turn makes one lovable. The irony in the modern relationship is that we all want someone to understand us, someone for ourselves, but humans are not wired in such a way that we can cut “off other possibilities of romance and sexual attraction for the more muted pleasures of mature love.”(404). There are 7.4 billion people in the world and that means there is an unimaginable amount of people who could be the one. And unnaturally forcing our desires into trying to get all of our needs satisfied by one person turns into an internal turmoil. A turmoil that begins to boil as soon as bank accounts are joined, closets begin to be shared, dishes are left in the wrong side of the sink, toilet seats are left up, meals are complained about instead of appreciated and so on and so on. And in time if we compromise and put up with these new irritants that can cause the mayhem within our souls, Kipnis refers to this a loosing a limb, a way of not being true to thyself for companionship, giving up your pride and beliefs for love.
It was after I had lost someone in my life that was my other half. I didn’t understand who I was, what my purpose was, what made me who I am. As far as I was concerned I was reduced to nothing more than an individual that was now alone. I didn’t realize that my identity was partly crafted from simply just being by their side all the time, that whenever I was introduced to someone, or was talking to mutuals about them, I was known for being their best friend. After the fiasco that became the end of our relationship, I felt as if I was just floating through the days and nights. This feeling went on for about 2 months until I slowly came out of it. I didn’t experience a grand epiphany of any sort that inspired me to change myself. I was painting and listening to music and the thought just slowly came to me. I love to paint, and I love listening to and creating and playing music. I began to gain back my sense of identity by engaging in activities I loved. I’m a painter, a musician, a writer, a passionate lover of movies. I’ve learned that identity can isn’t set in stone, there’s always room for
It is a difficult and long process to find yourself. Erickson tells us that is is a natural stage in life to question who you are. Everyone goes through it, regardless of age, sex, race, or time. Take Chang Yu-i for example. She pulled good experiences in her life, such as having unbound feet and getting some education, and used them to help form who she was becoming But she also took the experiences she did not like, such as discontinuing her education as such a young age to get married, and accepted them as part of who she was. She grew up strong, and eventually became her own person.
Intimacy and love are important factors to interpersonal relationship but as a foundation to not governing and controlling society. Consider a situation of three-person group, or also known as a triad, intimacy and love is not successful majority of time (Freidkin 05/20/10). Take for example, a family of three, a father, mother, son or daughter, has unconditionally love for each other. However, as the teenager grows up, he or she may not always agree with the parents' decisions about their life; and/or vice versa, in which the parents may not like the teenager's lifestyle. This shows that we tend to hold other with high regards and respect when we love another. Also, when we love others, we want the best for them and help them make better decisions to have better relations with the party. In relation to society, intimacy and love are not ideal features because they are too personal; not everyone will let others control their lives and surroundings willingly for strangers. For those who have conflicting beliefs with higher personnel will feel that some choice...
...at little voice in my head, got to me. I started to feel unsure about myself, I would talk down to myself. To the point where I would have some sort of mental breakdown. When this happened, I went to the people who I knew loved and cared for me. I would get their words implanted in my head of them saying that I can do it, that I am a beautiful person, that I should not second guess myself. In these circumstances, this is where I felt like I did not know who I was. I questioned my identity of who I am as a person. Even though I have been living for eighteen years, I still do not know my true self. I will keep questioning myself, I will keep feeling a some sort of abandonment, and trust issues for the longest time. These psychological effects will not leave my mind for a long time. But at least that who I am, I finally found a part of me that is not a mystery anymore.
Connectedness is a term used to talk about a loving and positive relationship between parents and their children (Padilla-Walker et al., 2012). Families build connections through a variety of ways, however the development of warm and fulfilling relationships is the goals of being connected developing closeness. Closeness is the emotional bond between people. Closeness varies on a spectrum, at one end of the spectrum we see a person that is not close to anyone in the family who is emotionally detached and is their own person. One the other end of the spectrum another person could be so overly close to someone in the family that they looking like the person that they are close too. Both ends of the spectrums are extremes and can be dangerous for a family. It is important to set aside quality time to work on closeness within the family, because it helps to create and maintain strong parent child bonds. However, it is also
The definition of a relationship has changed so many times in the past decades. It has gone from a connection between two people to an obsession and almost a competition. In today’s world a relationship consists of major intimacy and closeness. There are some who believe that intimacy while dating is wrong. They form their own definition of a relationship into what they call a “godly relationship”. Those supporting that kind of a relationship condemn sexual closeness and monitor who their young people are allowed to date. There are two worlds of dating in our lives today; one with infatuation and the other with togetherness.
Klohnen, E., & Luo, S. (2003). Interpersonal attraction and personality: What is attractive--self similarity, ideal similarity, complementarity or attachment
Being in a relationship, we build particular kind of feelings, which are based on trust, friendship and true love. However, a relationship can give us many feelings which we can’t get from friends or family. A good offers you all the wonderful things of friendship, but with a special closeness and intimacy. A good relationship will teach you to work as a team, and hopefully both people being to...
“Most of our lives consist of socializing with others, beginning new relationships, and strengthening old ones. Love is all around us, embodied in three main categories. Each of these is experienced in a different way; each of these is approached in a different way (Lemon2x).” However, all of them share one common quality- they are not planned, unpredicted, and developed overtime. In addition, an intimate relationship is harder to develop. “Intimacy generally refers to the feeling of being in a close personal association and belonging together. It is a familiar and very close affective connection with another as a result of a bond that is formed through knowledge and experience of the other. Genuine intimacy in human relationships requires dialogue, transparency, vulnerability, and reciprocity (Wikipedia). A lot of people think intimacy is all about sex. Intimacy is connecting with someone of the same or different sex on levels that ignite sexual interactions. There are many possible reasons why some people are attracted to each other and form relationships. Some of these reasons are personality, physical looks, things in common, and differences. These three things are what a relationship is based upon, besides trust and other things such as attraction.
but they wanted me to be more than that and that’s not who I am. I have to find my self by doing what I like and doing what is right for
Psychologists conclude, one needs to belong to somebody or obtain a close bond with one or many people (Ben-Zeev, 2014). It is the piece that truly makes people humans. Everyone wants to bond with someone or a group of people and fit in with them. For example, in the new Karate Kid— starring Jaden Smith (Dre Parker) and Jackie Chan (Mr. Han)— Dre Parker relocates from Detroit to China due to a job transfer at his mother's work. Consequently, he has to leave people behind and start all over in a foreign country. His sense of belonging causes him to hate China due to the reason he could not establish a relationship with anyone. Until he begins to establish a relationship with the maintenance man, develop a playful love or a “Ludus” relationship with his crush, and then he earns the respect of people, he begins to slowly fulfill his sense of belonging. However, to develop our sense of belonging to completion, people need to obtain a stable, loveable relationship because they gain a greater imperative with limited amount of people rather than going around. People obtain a greater affection and love maintaining stable relationships because those types of bonds attempt to avoid permanent separation, even if the cost of striving to keep the relationship is greater than the actual separation. Those who do not cement themselves in a stable, interpersonal relationships or into a romantic relationship never feel the
The idea and development of relationships was always very black and white for me. I had always seen all relationships such as friendships, partnerships, and family relationships, falling under one category. I have recently learned this is not the case at all. There are actually many different components that make up a relationship and as well different categories for different relationships. Robert Sternberg created a model of love called the triangular model of relationships that encompasses the various elements that are necessary for any relationship and as well the different classifications of relationships (Brannon, 2011). In his model, there are three components that make up the triangle.