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According to an MSNBC survey, 53% of single people find a great smile to be the most attractive feature in a potential mate. Another percentage of single people surveyed that flattery is the best was to attract someone (Dating/Relationship Statistics). Psychologists at the University of Pennsylvania studied data from over 10,000 speed daters and found that most people make a decision regarding a person’s attraction within three seconds of meeting (Penn New ). Whether it is the friends we choose or our romantic partners there is something that attracts us to the other person in these relationships. Maybe something that unknowingly leads us to develop a relationship with them. What is it that attracts a person to develop a relationship with them? In both friendships and romances. What is it that makes these relationships long lasting? With the high divorce rate among Americans and the rest of the world what is it that separates a couple? Could it be associated with the fact that the number one argument couples have is about money( ) ? Why do some marriages last and others end? These are the questions and theories I have searched for. From my research I have investigated different theories pertaining to this issue. The theory most often noted in this issue is the attraction-similarity model. This theory states that the more similar two individuals are, the higher the attraction between them will be. It is generally uplifting and encouraging meeting others who are like ourselves. For example, befriending someone who has the same interests in music, food, clothing, sports, movies, or books can encourage a lasting friendship. Similarity to others does not only validate our beliefs about the world and ourselves but also creates ag... ... middle of paper ... ... http://www.upenn.edu/pennnews/news/just-time-valentines-day-falling-love-three-minutes-or-less Klohnen, E., & Luo, S. (2003). Interpersonal attraction and personality: What is attractive--self similarity, ideal similarity, complementarity or attachment security?. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 85, 709-722. Lavner, J. A., & Bradbury, T. N. (2012). Why do even satisfied newlyweds eventually go on to divorce?. Journal Of Family Psychology, 26(1), 1-10. doi:10.1037/a0025966 Marriage and Divorce. (n.d.). http://www.apa.org. Retrieved April 16, 2014, from http://www.apa.org/topics/divorce Meyer, M. L., Berkman, E. T., Karremans, J. C., & Lieberman, M. D. (2011). Incidental regulation of attraction: The neural basis of the derogation of attractive alternatives in romantic relationships. Cognition & Emotion, 25(3), 490-505. doi:10.1080/02699931.2010.527494
Critical Evaluationg of Psychological Theories of Interpersonal Attraction Interpersonal Attraction suggests as attraction between people, and although it may not in terms of a romantic relationship scenario as the phrase suggests, it nethertheless suggests an important attraction to create a relationship with a particular person. It may by that we are attracted to a particular person or a social relationship because we find them pleasant or because we find life alone unpleasant or unrewarding. Schacter (1959) conducted a study in which female participants were told that they were going to receive an electric shock in a following experiment. Half of the subjects were told it would be painful and the other half were told it would not be painful. Each group were given the option to wait with another person or on their own for the experiment.
No matter who you are one day in life you are going to meet someone who takes your breath away. Someone who you feel you could just simply not live without and when that day comes so will the day that you decide between marriage or cohabitation. In James Q. Wilson’s article “Cohabitation Instead of Marriage” and Andrew J. Cherlin’s article “The Origins of the Ambivalent Acceptance of Divorce.” cover many marital relationship topics such as history, money, children, and culture.
“For if happiness is what people strive for, one needn’t waste time trying to figure out what makes people happy. One must only look at what people do” (Porter 458). Doyle’s essay is similar to Porter’s essay. Doyle writes about marriage and the dramatic reasons to why couples get divorced. Couples are married for years and in a blink of an eye it could all be gone. Individuals should be happy with themselves before committing themselves to someone else. Married couples keep a strong bond when both spouses decide that divorce is not an option. When divorce becomes an option, it leaves doubt and a big hole in the marriage to where they went wrong. Happy marriages last a lifetime and people who get divorced throw years of sharing the same last name, paying bills together and waking up next to each other every day. They vowed to live life for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do them part. Most individuals rather not work out their differences; instead they choose to run away from the problems leading them into a bigger problem which is divorce. A marriage takes patience, effort, love, kind, endurance, working together as one and includes plenty of tears, differences and disagreements. But in the end it is all worth it. If a couple cannot work their differences out, then they probably married each other for the wrong reasons. Some couples today hurry
Marriage is a commitment that seems to be getting harder to keep. The social standards placed on an individual by society and influenced by the media inevitably lead some to consider divorce as a “quick-fix” option. “Have it your way” has become a motto in the United States. It has become a country without any consideration of the psychological effects of marriage and divorce. The overwhelmingly high divorce rate is caused by a lack of moral beliefs and marital expectations.
Hanson, Richard R. "Optimizing Marital Success: The Conscious Couple Uniting Process." Humboldt Journal of Social Relations 32.1, TRANSLATIONAL APPLIED SOCIOLOGY (2009): 158-83. JSTOR.Web. 11 May 2014.
Divorce has grown conventional in today's society. First marriages stand a 50% chance of breaking up and second marriages stand a 67% chance of doing the same thing (issue 8 pg 146). It seems as if instead of working out problems and believing in love, people are giving up and throwing away all they worked on together for so long, thinking that their next marriage will be much different. By doing this they are hurting not only themselves but also their children and could cause them to have negative side effects later on into their adult lives according to clinical psychologist Judith S. Wallerstein. Erikson's theory of personality development can help calculate which and how stages are affected when parents get divorce. Stages 3, 4, 5 and 6 seem to be the most affected by the divorce because the main conflicts the child is confronting at the time are necessary to go through them calmly for a healthy development.
No one expects to divorce when they get married but nearly half of all marriages will end in divorce or separation. Divorce can be costly, with court fees and attorneys. Dr. Doherty, noted marriage scholar and therapist has determined a list of risk factors that are attributed to marital problems and divorce. The first three: Young age, less education and less income are coincidently other topics brushed upon in this paper. Impulsive decisions made by younger people to marry leads to children which leads to financial instability. Once a couple has children, they are unlikely to further their education because of lack of time. Divorce also has a negative effect on
Lach, Jennifer. “The Consequences Of Divorce.” American Demographics 21.10 (1999): 14. MAS Ultra – School Edition.Web. 26 Feb. 2014.
Staider, Daniel R. (2012). The role of dissonance, social comparison, and marital status in thinking about divorce. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. 29 (3, May), 302-323.
Throughout the last half of the century, our society has watched the divorce rate of married couples skyrocket to numbers previously not seen. Although their has been a slight decline in divorce rates, “half of first marriages still were expected to dissolve before death.” (Stacy, 15, 1991) Whatever happened to that meaningful exchange of words, “until death do us part,” uttered by the bride and groom to each other on their wedding day? What could have been the cause of such inflated divorce rates? Perhaps young married couples are not mature enough to be engaged in such a trremendous responsibility, or, maybe, the couples really do not know each other as well as they thought. Possibly, they have been blinded by infatuation rather than by true love, or, quite simply, the couples mistakenly have different relational expectations.
Menadier, Veronica H. "How Personality and Physical Attraction Lead to Possible Dating: A Reflection." Journal of Multidisciplinary Research (1947-2900) 4.2 (2012): 111-19. Web. 12 Nov. 2013. .
Proximity is another consideration in attraction. Who we are close to is how we meet and become friends. If you are exposed to someone over time you tend to build a relationship. Similarity, people also choose partners that are similar to themselves such as age, race, religion, social class, religion, education, intelligence and attitude. (Feenstra, 2011). We choose friendships as well based on these values and characteristics. You want someone in your life that you have something in common with. You have heard "opposites attract," well do they? One person may like rock music and the other classical. One in the relati...
Around the world divorce is common and known amongst different societies, some with higher rates than others. According to Irvin (2012), in America there is one divorce every 13 seconds. That’s 6,646 divorces per day, and 46,532 divorce per week. This is a social issue within our society that has many negative effects on everyone facing this circumstance. The divorce rate in the U.S is a problem that shows an increase in its rates compared to the past decades. According to the U.S Census Bureau, around 50 percent of marriages end in a divorce. There are many reasons for divorce from “hard” reasons (e.g., abuse and adultery) to “soft” reasons (e.g., psychological and relational problems). The two most destructive reasons for a divorce is physical violence or alcohol and drug problems, but these reason are less frequently are seen as reasons for divorce. The most common reasons for divorce are the “soft” reasons. According to William, a recent national survey found that 73% said the “lack of commitment” was their major reason for divorce. Other reasons were “ too much arguing, infidelity, marrying too young, unrealistic expectations, lack of equality in the relationship, lack of preparation for marriage, and abuse” (William, p10). Divorce has known to be a second most stressful life event, came before only by the death of a spouse and what is that stress capable? It is dispatching a serious about of anxiety and depression to people’s limbic system as emotional center in the brain. According to Taylor and Beth (2009), the stress of divorce had driven people beyond the normal grief felt in a divorce and into a clinical depression. “Nearly 15 million American adults, or about 6.7 %...
orientation on human mate selection preferences, as indicated by an analysis of personal advertisements. Behaviour, Volume 148 , 307-323. Retrieved 17 April 2015.
Attraction plays a big role in everyone’s life and no one gets around it. It’s not just about thinking someone is appealing or good looking; it has a lot more science and psychological reasoning in it (Proximity and Attraction). When people make friends, it’s because they are somewhat attracted to the friend and if someone wants to be your friend, they find you somewhat attractive. Your friends influence your attraction and what you like in a significant other by the way they talk good and bad about people (Proximity and Attraction). The way someone looks, acts, smells, and many other things make people attracted to them or make them look more appealing to other people. Studies show that there are five different types of attraction; proximity, association, similarity, reciprocal liking, and physical attractiveness. However, there are more things that make you attracted to someone besides the five main types of attraction (Proximity and Attraction).