I Misunderstand Me Analysis

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Don't misunderstand me, I am happy here. Extremely happy. But that doesn't mean I don't miss. I do miss. It is not that this experience was a mistake. It was a constant, ten months of hit or miss. And I hit. Really, really, really hard. But I still miss the littlest details of my old me. Of my old life. I can't still get used to hearing another breath at night mixed with the air. I can't get used to the lack of food, to the opened window or to the snow outside the door. I tried to mold myself to my new environment. Become as similar as I could. I examined the variations, acted like a scientist. I tested the limits of my surroundings. Learn the rules and how to break them. I played with the routine even when there was none. I tried everything. I for sure know the basics and way more than that. I for sure know the theory. However, when it comes to the practice I become paralyzed. …show more content…

I decided not to follow this advice. If I had listen to my brain at all times, I would have been already dead; or just not really living. So I sucked it up and continue my path. Now, I don't really recognize myself. I'm a mixture of cultures that only one person in the whole world could completely understand. And every system now is broken. Tear into pieces. I woke up today defeated. Lost in my own mind. Tears trying to clean up these horrible thoughts. I've always been a letters girl who gets overwhelmed with numbers. I've always treated them like enemies. So many numbers added, so many dates, so many hours missing... So much time missing. Not enough time for me to mold back to myself. Or what people think my old self was. I don't know if I want to be that girl again. But I feel like I have to. I feel like it is what is expected from

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