I Am an Alcoholic

I Am an Alcoholic

Alcohol abuse has been an issue in my life for quite some time now. I had my first “taste” at the age of fifteen, and from that moment on I was hooked. My father is an alcoholic, as was his father, and I was apparently unfortunate enough to be born with that same gene that quite possibly led to their self-destructive, difficult to break, habit. It took five years of belligerent drunkenness, trouble with the law, broken relationships, and denial for me to realize that I am an alcoholic. Luckily though, I have finally realized that I have a problem, and I am doing something about it before it is too late.

The vast majority of my life, since freshman year in high school, has been full of regret. There are so many choices I have made, or not made for that matter, as a result of drinking, that have led to negative consequences. I have been in more trouble with the law than any twenty year old should, and I have spent one too many days of depression in bed, my mind overflowing with thoughts of guilt and disgust of the events that had taken place the nights before. I received my first MIP (Minor in Possession) when I was sixteen, but it did not even phase me. My second offense occurred three years later. This time, I was much less fortunate. It wasn’t a measly little MIP that I could take care of by paying a small fine, it was a DUI (Driving Under the Influence). I didn’t just get pulled over as a result of swerving over the yellow dotted centerline in the road. I was in a car accident. A horrible car accident that obliterated my car, and nearly took my life; landed me in a hospital bed for three days, and left me with severe whip lash, bruises all over, and glass embedded in my skin from head to toe. The final prognosis: a fractured pelvis in two separate spots. The result: inability to walk for weeks without the aid of a walker or crutches. I was arraigned at the Muskegon County Jail the day I was released from the hospital. At nineteen years old I was a convict who could not even walk. I lost my license, my freedom, and any bit of respect that the people around me once held. I was fined five-hundred and fifty dollars by the court, ordered to complete an outpatient alcohol treatment, and demanded to attend a victims panel presentation. My life was over, as were my days of drinking. Or so I thought.

As soon as I could walk again, actually as ...

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...ately leading to a more problematic existence. I was not my self, I had become a monster. I finally began to realize that if I ever wanted to be someone and do something with my life, things were going to have to change.

After this past Christmas break, I began substance abuse counseling. I still see a counselor once a week, and it is helping immensely. I have attended a few AA classes, but due to anxiety I do not attend regularly. I have begun to turn my life around, and although it was outrageously hard at first, I am finally starting to feel happy sober. I still drink occasionally, because being at college makes it rather difficult not to, but I do not remember the last time I made a horrible decision that I regret. I feel great, and for once in my life I am proud of myself. The best results I could imagine would be to stop drinking altogether. It will be hard, but eventually I will do it. I just need to continue with my counseling and keep myself busy with other, more positive activities. I am glad I have caught my problem with alcohol abuse before it was too late. I look forward to accomplishing my hopes and dreams, and I hope to someday practice a life of complete sobriety.