Essay On Covert Flatulence

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Before we begin unpacking the many ways you may safely sound your butt-trumpet, we must first begin by discussing some preliminary principles. As with any skill you wish to hone, you need to have a solid grasp of the underlying background before you can dive into specifics. In the case of covert flatulence, the underlying philosophy can be distilled into three main points. All other elaborations must be solidly based in these three foundations in order to have an air of plausibility. Distraction, coverup, and blame are the basis for all successful secretive toots. The principle of distraction aims to keep those around you from any notice of a fart occurring. By focusing their attention elsewhere, your methane leak can hopefully fly under …show more content…

This principle aims to minimize the olfactory aspects of your toot. Moreover, it aims to spare those around you from undergoing a nasal attack on their human rights. When considering the principle of coverup, there are two possible paths to go down. The first is to mask the odor with a different, more pleasant scent. The second is to ensure it blends in, so that the fact you just farted isn't apparent. For either of these paths, it is paramount that you find a place that already has a strong odor of its own. Some examples include near dumpsters, or in a flower shop. As an interesting aside, I've found that Main Street Hallway is an ideal location. Since the sewer still backs up occasionally, students of SCHS are used to it smelling bad, and no one will question the source of the fumes. On the other side of the spectrum is the area outside the doors of a Bed, Bath, and Beyond store. For several feet radiating from the entrance of the store, there exists a zone so altogether fragrant, that the perfume of various fruits and flowers will overpower even the most powerful of stenches. On the off chance you find yourself gassy in a mall, I would highly recommend this region of the

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