Parents and Children:
Effective Discipline and Communication
One of the biggest issues for parents to resolve has been the ways in which they discipline their child. Along with these concerns, parents and child psychologists have battled to find a solution to common problems of communication between parents and children. While many styles and methods have been used to address these issues and responsibly raise a child to adulthood, many great debates of parenthood have continued through time.
How do effective parents discipline and communicate with their children? Although many specific areas can be explored, in regards to this question, we will narrowly focus on these few:
1. Forms of Discipline
2. Spank or Not to Spank?
3. Parent to Parent Communication
4. Parent to Child Communication
Forms of Discipline?
“Child discipline is one of the most important elements of successful parenting” (AllAboutParenting.org, 2002, para. 1), however, there are many different approaches and forms of punishment used by parents today. Some of the most common forms are ‘time-outs’, restriction from play or going to a friend’s house, standing in a corner and physical discipline (spanking). While not every parent will utilize any or all of these methods, there are many options to consider when looking for the most suitable or effective way to discipline a child.
In order to alter a child’s undesirable behavior or enforce set rules, it can occasionally be necessary for a parent to offer consequences. When this occurs, it is important to note that these actions should always be commensurate to the severity of the child’s actions or infraction of the rules, as well as the age of the child. “Experts say 1 minute for each year of age is ...
... middle of paper ...
...med, as it is reasonably necessary to raise their children with stability. Additionally, it is imperative that children are able to freely discuss problems with their parents and share any of their fears or doubts, and that the parents allow and promote such conversations with their children to truly be effectual in these matters as well.
References
Child-discipline-with-love.com. (2009) ). Effective communication with children. Parent Child Communication. Retrieved May 21, 2010, from http://www.child-discipline-with-love.com/effective-communication-with-children.html
KidsHealth. (2010). Disciplining your child. Ages 3 to 5.Retrieved May 14, 2010, from http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/talk/discipline.html#
Unknown Author. (2002, Feb 26). Child Discipline – What, How, When?
Retrieved May 21, 2010, from http://www.allaboutparenting.org/child-discipline.htm
Spanking is the most effective form of discipline when a child knows doing something is wrong, but the child does it anyway. A child who is properly disciplined through spanking is being taught how to control her or his impulses and how to deal with all types of authorities in future environments. Parents can control their child’s future
Parents and their parenting style play an important role in the development of their child. In fact, many child experts suggest that parenting style can affect a child’s social, cognitive, and psychological development which influence not just their childhood years, but it will also extend throughout their adult life. This is because a child’s development takes place through a number of stimuli, interaction, and exchanges that surround him or her. And since parents are generally a fixed presence in a child’s life, they will likely have a significant part on the child’s positive or negative development (Gur 25).
Because the beliefs, education and cultures of people vary so much, along with the age of the child, methods of child discipline vary widely. The topic of child discipline involves a wide range of fields such as parenting, behavioural analysis, developmental psychology, social work and various religious perspectives. Advances in the understanding of parenting have provided a background of theoretical understanding and practical understanding of the effectiveness of parenting methods.
Within the realm of Communication and Parenting, it is apparent that most researches will refer to three main parenting styles: permissive, authoritarian, and authoritative parenting. Permissive parenting is described as a style in which parents exert minimal psychological control combined with high levels of affection. Authoritarian styles differ from this greatly, as it is defined as parenting with many demands and few expressions of affection. Authoritative parenting can be described as a balance of permissive and authoritarian styles. Authoritative parents have high expectations for their children, and they are able to effectively share ideals of love and respect. The essay “The Role of Parenting Styles in Children's Problem Behavior,”
A parent’s parenting styles are as diverse as the world we live in today. Nowadays, parents only want what is best for their children and their parenting styles plays a crucial role in the development of children which will in the long run, not only effect the child’s childhood years, but later prolong into their adult life as well.
Throughout the decades, parenting has evolved resulting in altered child rearing experiences for adults. It has changed from the 1920s, when children had to work no matter where they lived, to now where you can't discipline your kid and society decides what is right. Punishing your child became customary over time, but today physical punishment is highly frowned upon. Looking into each of the decades since 1920, family life has been focused on the child and influenced by community expectations.
Children enter the world as part of preexisting systems. They enter parental systems and families that already have rules, roles and boundaries, and more are made as children grow and the family develops. These transitions can be confusing and challenging for all members involved leading to feelings of fear, anger and even helplessness. Members within the family strive to feel competent and grasp at a sense of security as their family structure and organization shifts with each new addition or change. Normal family development is a delicate balance between change and stability. The most important rules to help maintain a sense of stability and security within the family, according to Virginia Satir, are the ones that govern communication (Bitter, 2009, p. 125). Rules via communication can be verbal or nonverbal but are usually intended to provide children safety as they advance outside the home. However, children hear absolutes in rules such as “Always listen to your elders,” which quickly becomes impossible to follow all the time. Children begin to question such rules and parental authority begins to lose weight. Children also learn rules by observing the behavior of their parents, who typically do not follow the absolutes in rules they give their children. According to Satir, in healthy families, rules are few and consistently applied and are humanly possi...
How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen so Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Steve Van Bockern, is a how to guide for parents yet can also be used with educators in speaking with children. The book was conducted by two mothers and authors who needed to find alternate solutions in better dealing with their children. They then conducted parent meetings to discuss other stories and teach each other how they can go about their confrontations with their children. It demonstrates all the different kinds of scenarios a parent might be experiencing with their child. In the book, there are dialogues to describe the potential correct and incorrect ways in speaking with children along the tips that have been researched and put into practice. The book also has support that backs up why a parent must change their at...
The use of spanking is one of the most controversial parenting practices and also one of the oldest, spanning throughout many generations. Spanking is a discipline method in which a supervising adult deliberately inflicts pain upon a child in response to a child’s unacceptable behaviour. Although spanking exists in nearly every country and family, its expression is heterogeneous. First of all the act of administering a spanking varies between families and cultures. As Gershoff (2002) pointed out, some parents plan when a spanking would be the most effective discipline whereas some parents spank impulsively (Holden, 2002). Parents also differ in their moods when delivering this controversial punishment, some parents are livid and others try and be loving and reason with the child. Another source of variation is the fact that spanking is often paired with other parenting behaviours such as, scolding, yelling, or perhaps raging and subsequently reasoning. A third source of variation concerns parental characteristics. Darling and Steinberg (1993) distinguished between the content of parental acts and the style in which it was administered (Holden, 2002). With all this variation researchers cannot definitively isolate the singular effects of spanking.
We have all encountered this situation: A small child is standing in the middle of a department store throwing a complete temper tantrum demanding a toy. His mother, exasperated threatens him with time-outs and other deprived privileges, but the stubborn child continues to kick and scream. In the "old days," a mother wouldn't think twice about marching the defiant child to the bathroom and giving him a good spanking to straighten him out, but these days, parents have to worry about someone screaming child abuse. Whether or not to spank a child has become a heated issue in today's society.
Successful parenting may be judged by many different standards. Raising a child to be a respectful, mature, and independent adult requires a great deal of effort. There are several parenting styles, and not all lead a child to reaching their full potential. Overpowering sternness leads may lead to a rebellious child, while passive parenting may lead children to inept for the challenges of adulthood. Parenting requires more than teaching children submissiveness, or building of self-importance. Children learn best from a role model who is admirable. Parenting is a great opportunity to set the course of one’s entire life in the right direction.
Parenting styles were first introduced in 1966 by Diana Baumrind, a developmental psychologist (K. H. Grobman, 2008). Over the years parenting styles have been shown to have a lasting impact on a child’s development. Parents do not always fall into one category of parenting style, but can be a combination of more than one, or even all three. These parenting styles were defined by tracing the timeline of parenting methods throughout history. The three main parenting styles recognized by Diana Baumrind are the permissive parent, the authoritarian parent, and the authoritative parent. She noticed that there were certain trends in parenting styles. Styles of parenting stem from different eras throughout history, and the parenting method that was favored amongst the majority, at that time (Birgitte Coste, 2007). The authoritarian style of parenting originated in the "Pre Second World War Era." This method was developed by behaviorist, John Watson. Children were viewed in a strict, robotic, unfeeling manner, due to the harsh times of this era. A...
It can be said for most parents that they want their children to grow up to be successful contributing members of society. Being a parent is a difficult, yet rewarding task. But why do some types of parenting result in juvenile delinquency while others find success. There are four generally recognized parenting styles and are categorized: authoritarian, permissive, neglectful, and authoritative. This essay will break down the various styles, its type(s) of discipline and effectiveness.
Disciplining a child is the responsibility of the parent. There are many ways to discipline a child. A child could be spanked, yelled at, ridiculed, punished, and grounded. They could also be verbally abused as a mode to be disciplined. It is up to the parents to choose how they want to discipline their child. Major influences on how to discipline a child comes from the media, friends, elders, and even books. Most parents choose their method of discipline based on how they were raised as a child. In most cases, it all depends on the ethnicity and culture you were born into. According to Child Rearing Practices in Different Cultures, some cultures believe the father should be the sole disciplinarian, others believe that the role should be shared equally between the mother and father (Everydaylife.com). The methods of discipline may vary slightly with parents of different ethnicities, but ultimately they are similar in the fashion of disciplining the child to teach them right from wrong.
Works Cited Tumlin, A. 2010 - September 20, 2010. The effectiveness of parenting classes. Retrieved from http://www.livestrong.com/article/231873-the-effectiveness-of-parenting-classes/. Campbell, J. M. (1992). The Species of the World. Parenting classes: Focus on discipline.