Parenthood: Not For the Faint of Heart

Whatever the circumstance that initiates parenthood, there is one constant variable - there is a new person in this world needing care. The most qualified people for the job are the parents. True, there are no manuals, but each of us has the basic tools needed to become effective parents.

These tools are programmed into our DNA for survival of the species. The only difference between us and the rest of the animal kingdom, who seem to have no problem raising their young to be self reliant members of their social order, is our self indulgent free will. Effective parenting requires love, patience, strength, resilience, and sense of purpose. Effective parenting also requires a social support system that reinforces and supports the efforts of the parents. Parents and communities must come together to effectively raise the adults of tomorrow.

From birth children have parents right where they want them. Their awareness of this is not developed, but instinctively they know they are in control and will not relinquish this power easily. The sooner the parents assume dominance, the more effective the parenting. In my daughter’s childhood that moment came in junior high.

Jessica belonged to a youth bowling league. The teams were picked by the director of the league. Two of the girls on Jessica’s team had lifestyles very different from Jessica’s. At fourteen years old these girls had very little parental supervision. Their parents did not require knowing where these girls were or who they were with. They were free to walk the streets of town and had no curfews. Jessica saw these girls as “cool” and envied their freedom. I had my concerns. As the weeks wore on, my daughter became defiant, her pattern of dress changed, her manner of spee...

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... responsibility and a social responsibility. Children need us to be role models and display the kind of skills and behaviors needed to be productive, well adjusted adults. Some parents do not take the time or make the effort required to raise responsible, productive adults. Some believe the responsibility of child rearing falls to the daycares, the schools, the internet, the grandparents, the peers, the courts and any other institutions available. In contrast, some see parenting as an amazing adventure. Many parents see the value in what they do and the impact their efforts have, not only on their children, but on all of humanity. There will always be differences in parenting. Parenting is as diverse as the individual. By working together, as individuals and communities, we can collectively instill the skills and behaviors the next generation will need to carry on.