My depression is something I don 't like to talk about to people. During my junior year in high school it got especially bad. At that time I overloaded myself with classes and after school activities. I also was very lucky to have a boyfriend but some of my already sparse time was spent with him. As the days grew shorter and colder I found myself receding into my room more. Instead of going out with friend I would choose to hide myself in the comforts of my room. When I did I would regret my decision immediately but did not have the mental energy to reach out to people. My parents and friends notice and they tried to help but whenever they encouraged me to speak out about it I would deny everything. I didn 't want their judgement. I didn 't want them to reject me for my attitude. I didn 't want them to brush it off as nothing. I was so scared of what people would do when they figured out what was happening.
When I would browse the internet or watch tv I saw the people who went to therapy as burdens. That 's what triggered all of this. I was mortified at the thought that I as a burden on those around me. Because of this I developed independent habits. Because I could not drive, when people asked me to go places I would decline if I did not have a ride. If I felt overwhelmed with homework and my responsibilities I would rather drowned in my work then ask for help. Soon it became apparent to me that these habits were self destructing. Instead of becoming independent I...
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... Eventually I grew the courage to tell them as well. I really had nothing to fear. The welcomed me with many hugs and tears and we learned together how to make me happy again.
My story is not a unique one. Teenagers everywhere have to deal with depression and anxiety holding them back. In the end what got me through mine was courage. The courage to stand up against myself. What I was so afraid of was just problems that I had made up in my mind. If I had not stood up and spoke about my problems I don 't think I would be here today to talk about them. I can proudly say that courage is what got me through some of the hardest times in my life so far. I am also happy to report that I am doing so much better. I no longer think of myself as a burden on my friends and family. I enjoy every aspect of life and can 't wait to continue on wherever my journey takes me.
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