Verbal Abuse

"Sticks and Stone may break my bones but words will never hurt me" We have all heard these words at some point in our lives, but the truth of the matter is that words do cause us pain. The wounds that we receive from verbal abuse cannot be seen as they are psychological wounds. These psychological wounds that we receive embed themselves deep into the way that we view the world and can stay with us forever. The fact of the matter is that words may not cause us physical pain but they cut deep into us and cause much more pain and suffering than physical wounds.

Because verbal abuse can cause so much pain and suffering it is vital that as individuals we know and understand exactly what verbal abuse is. Verbal abuse as defined by Patricia Evans, "includes withholding, bullying, defaming, defining, trivializing, harassing, diverting, interrogating, accusing, blaming, blocking, countering, lying, berating, taunting, put downs, abuse disguised as a joke, discounting, threatening, name-calling, yelling and raging." This definition of verbal abuse expands our preconceived idea that verbal abuse is limited to only name calling.

While name calling is easily identified as verbal abuse it is not always the most destructive form. Interrogation, the act aggressive questioning of another individual with the intent to cause stress or grief, is one of the more difficult forms of verbal abuse to identify. Interrogation is difficult to identify amongst people because the interrogator may justify his actions as concern for the other person. This form of verbal abuse however can be very detrimental to the person being interrogated as it may cause the person to become distrustful with those around them which may cause the individual to, in turn, inter...

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...ple. I now realize that my actions could have possibly caused an individual to develop self esteem issues and become distrustful to the world around them.

This paper has really opened my eyes to the world of verbal abuse. I was unaware that abuse could take so many forms and that things that I thought were innocent interactions could be causing people serious psychological harm. I have learned that setting boundaries is the best way to deal with abuse in both the work place and in interpersonal relationships. I also learned that when yourself image begins to feel threatened you need to listen to your "gut" and do what is necessary to protect yourself from further abuse. I also learned that effects of verbal abuse can last a lifetime and that we need to be careful with what we say to others. Because sticks and stones may break my bones but words may nearly kill me.