Unit 1 Revision Memo

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Recommended: Personal reflection on college writing

Over the course of the semester, I have been assigned various writing projects, with the intention of strengthening my ability as a writer and my capability of completing collegiate writing assignments. I believe my writing ability has improved, which can be seen most significantly in my revision of my original unit one essay, and the improvement in the quality of the paper that followed (Unit Two Essay) I was able to rewrite my essay effectively, and the pieces that proceeded were superior to the first essay I had written for class.

My original essay composed for unit one was completely muddled. Even looking past the measly one-page length of the essay, it’s contents did not complete the purpose of the assignment. The goal of the essay …show more content…

I carefully revised and added a significant amount of content to the original paper; jumping from a mere 676 words to an adequate 1,670. Within this new content I expanded paragraphs to make them less confusing and more explicative, I completely rewrote my introduction and closing paragraphs, and included new quotes that better described Pollitt’s strategies. Rather than begin with the boring and awkward introductory sentence of “The essay “Why Boys Don’t Play With Dolls” by Katha Pollitt, is an essay angled at young people who are, or potentially will be parents.” (Original Unit One Essay), I revised my introductory sentence(s) to be “The essay “Why Boys Don’t Play With Dolls” by Katha Pollitt, uses examples from scientific studies and hypothetical anecdotes in order to craft her primary argument. This argument appears to be that no matter what the case, parents will send messages to their children, and that they should simply pay attention to the messages that they send.” (Revised Unit One Essay) The new sentence(s) do a much better job at presenting the purpose of both Pollitt’s essay and my own. While the final essay may still need some revising, it is a stark

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