From the moment a child is brought into this world the first thing the parent is waiting to hear is the child cry. That cry is one of the most precious thing a parent craves for upon the birth of their child. So how can something so valuable become as discouraged in society as that child gets older? Crying is a natural survival instinct which human being do to remove all the sadness, anger, frustration and pain inside them. It is a technique which has the same impact of a supercharged, calm down cocktail. The pressure on your diaphragm is lifted and your heart slows back to normal. This biological instinct releases endorphins which protects one’s eyes and calms one down [1]. But many people disagree with this scientifically proven fact.
Men
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In “A Call to Men”, Tony Porter spoke about the wrong teaching practices of parents in discouraging they’re sons from crying and their urge to toughen up their boys. Porter shares with his audience the story of his brother’s funeral. At the end of the funeral Tony’s father busted out in tears over the grievance of his son. As Porter watched his father emotionally explode, his father apologizes to Porter for crying and acknowledges his son on keeping his feelings inside. This didn’t sit well with Porter. He could not understand why expressing one’s feelings was so belittled. He describes society’s characteristics of a true man as a “Man Box” and how young boys are taught to fit right into it. Porter promotes self-expression and encourages parents not to confide their sons in that box. …show more content…
Crying is a natural coping technique created by our body to cope withallthe anxiety and frustration one has bottled up inside. This is what makes us human. The passion, the emotion. It distinguishes us from the animals in the wild. This coping mechanism is a gift and instead of making us weaker, says the past stereotype, it actually makes us stronger and helps us deal with challenges head-on.One startsto understand oneself better and people begin to figure out oneself from within. Men who cry are not inferior from those who don’t. as society changes and develops for the better so will the stereotype on
In a restaurant, picture a young boy enjoying breakfast with his mother. Then suddenly, the child’s gesture expresses how his life was good until “a man started changing it all” (285). This passage reflects how writer, Dagoberto Gilb, in his short story, “Uncle Rock,” sets a tone of displeasure in Erick’s character as he writes a story about the emotions of a child while experiencing his mother’s attempt to find a suitable husband who can provide for her, and who can become a father to him. Erick’s quiet demeanor serves to emphasis how children may express their feelings of disapproval. By communicating through his silence or gestures, Erick shows his disapproval towards the men in a relationship with his mother as he experiences them.
In the essay, “Changing the World One Boy at a Time” written by Mark Honigsbaum, boys are lost or they are in crisis. These boys have troubles in their everyday life. The author illustrates that boys need a mature male adult to help them guide to the right path. To convey his message, Honigsbaum explains that these boys have psychological issues. He then states that the event, where they receive a psychological test, reveals a boy’s personality. Lastly, he argues that to make the right decision, a boy needs the guidance of a mentor. He presents those arguments with the use of statistics, expert opinion, rhetorical questions, anecdotes and comparison.
According to Klaus and Kennell, there are specific events, including skin-to-skin contact between mother and infant that must occur directly following the birth of a primate infant. This maximizes the chances of survival for the newborn not only because their mother is a source of food, but also because they will learn the culture they need to be successful in their environment. In the study, Klaus and Kennell test how much time a baby spends crying when they are separated from their mother. They concluded the increased time in babies that were separated was due to the anxiety that separation caused. The difficulty in this is that the cause of the baby’s distress is subjective. Also the notion of critical period proposed that the bonds and lessons taught during that time could not be developed later.
As young men grow up, they would generally learn and integrate within a box of codes which shows them how to be a man, known as the Guy Code. The Guy Code is a set of rules prevalently applied among men groups about how a man behaves with other men and his girlfriend. It mainly teaches guys to be dominant, aggressive and fearless. In Michael Kimmel’s “ Bros Before Hos: The Guy Code”, he indicates that men disguise their emotions and inner beings to be like a man, particularly among their peers. It imposes a consciousness that timidity is not a characteristic that men should have.
William Pollack, in his article “Inside the World of Boys: Behind the Mask of Masculinity”, discusses on how boy tries to hide behind the mask and the stereotypical of masculinity. He demonstrates how boy hide their deepest though and feelings and real self. Pollack open the essay with “a fourteen-year-old boy, he is doing badly in school and he might fail algebra, but when teacher or his parent ask about it, he said everything is just fine. He hide his true identity behind the mask, and let no one see his true self.” After read the story, I think the story is really useful source to write an essay about how boy become men and they are emotionless.
Cognitive development is where children start to become aware of their surroundings and become familiar with different things. Cognitive development plays enormous roles in a child’s growth into adulthood. In the story, Crews mentions that his first memory was around ten years before he was born, and the memory takes place where he has never been and involves his daddy who he never knew. One of the most important stages of cognitive development is sensorimotor stage. During the sensorimotor stage, children are only aware of the things they see, do, and the physical interactions with their immediate surroundings. Also, according the “The Role of the Father in Child Development”, it suggests the father-child separation period starts at the early age of nine months. Although the narrator was only 18 months old when his father died; he was still unable to make that immediate connection that a child needs from his father. Crews started a quest to find his father’s love; however, he never got a chance to complete. According to “The Role of the Father in Child Development”, the presence of a male model other than a father (e.g. an older brother) may inhibit the negative effects of a father’s absence Biller (1968, 1971a) argues that the father is a superior role model. All fathers are held to a superior role in every child’s life. Fathers are often the superhero that a little boy would like to be. The author always yearned for that superior male figure in his life. Crews’ father lived a life which consisted of drinking, fighting, working long hours, and influencing others to live the same lifestyle. The writer began to question the choices that his father made after he was convicted of his transgressions. Because of the actions of his father, Crews questioned what an ideal father should be and how it impacted his life in a negative
An article entitled “How Boys Become Men,” written by Jon Katz was originally published in January, 1993 in Glamour, a magazine for young women. This article details the process of a boy growing into a man and mainly focus on the lesson boys learn that effect their adult lives. These lessons are about how to hold back emotions and never appeared sensitive. The author includes examples of his own experiences as a boy to convey to the reader the challenges of growing into a man. Through the various stories of young boys, the author is trying to prove that the men are insensitive because they had to learn to hide their feelings during the stage of growing up with other boys. The purpose of the author is to explain the women of the world, why men appear to be emotionalist and “macho.” The author’s main idea of this article is to explain why men are insensitive and to help women understand why men sometimes seem “remote” and “uncommunicative.”
Being a man, I have to be strong and tough through many situations. We cannot show many of our feelings like woman do because we will be considered weak. When my great grandfather died about four years ago, my sisters and my mother were crying, but my father, my brother and I were expected to stay strong and not cry. Although I wanted to break down, I held it in due to the expectation my family and other people had for me as a man.
Often frustrated parents or other persons responsible for a child’s care feel that shaking a baby is a harmless way to make a child stop crying. The number one reason why a baby is shaken is because of inconsolable crying. (National Exchange Club Foundation, 1998) An infant may spend two to three hours a day crying. (The Epilepsy Association of Central Florida) A caregiver momentarily gives in to the frustration of responding to a crying baby by shaking. Caregivers may be inadequately prepared for children.
The role of a father could be a difficult task when raising a son. The ideal relationship between father and son perhaps may be; the father sets the rules and the son obeys them respectfully. However it is quite difficult to balance a healthy relationship between father and son, because of what a father expects from his son. For instance in the narratives, “Death of a Salesman,” and “Fences” both Willy and Troy are fathers who have a difficult time in earning respect from their sons, and being a role model for them. Between, “Death of a Salesman,” and “Fences,” both protagonists, Willy and Troy both depict the role of a father in distinctive ways; however, in their struggle, Willy is the more sympathetic of the two.
If a parent has a negative emotion and negative reactions to children’s expression of emotion, it will cause children to also have negative emotions and low social competence. It states, “children reared in families in which emotions, particularly negative emotions are not discussed freely may be deprived of information about emotions and their regulation and may conclude that emotions should not be expressed” (Eisenberg 255). Children will grow with a disadvantage in terms of their emotional and social competence. These kids will lack emotion because it was not discussed when they were younger and they will not know how to express how they truly feel since they were deprived. In the article “The Lifelong Impact of Childhood Experiences: A Population Health Perspective” it discusses that early childhood experiences have a powerful effect on one’s life. It also focuses on different statuses of the family as a child and that can also have an effect on how a parent is raising their child. It states “Across North America approximately 50 percent of single parent families live in poverty, more than twice as many as Western Europe”(Hertzman
He appears to embody a number of conflicting sexual and gender identities. Although female masculinity comes to the forefront in this film, female-to-male characters, prior to the release of Boys Don 't Cry, have gone largely unrecognized. Female masculinity poses a literal and symbolic threat to male masculinity. “The fear is not only that women will become more like men but, that men will become more like women” (Rigney 2004). Some argue that the film works to consider the transgressive potential of the gender establishment within a lesbian context, which reduces and eventually, annuls Brandon 's gender. Although Brandon finds himself in the position of having to say, “I can explain” to people, these scenes are also framed to focus attention toward Brandon’s confusion and frustration over why any explanation is necessary, why others cannot accept him for who he believes he is. In this way, the narratives encourage the recognition of Brandon’s own experiences of sexual identity and validate what he believes to be his true nature. The underlying message in all of the scenes in which Brandon must offer some explanation for his masculine identity is that the confusion surrounding his sexual identity does not reside in him, but in others, in the intolerance they feel toward those who violate normative heterosexuality. It is
The boy appears to play the role of the responsible adult more so than the father does. The boy has typical signs of a child from today’s broken family relationships; he does not want to disappoint either parent. The boy s...
There is no voice more comforting than Mama’s. In the womb we are suspended in safe warmth, hearing every noise that Mama makes. And we don’t just hear her voice. We feel its vibrations, its muffled hum, through our ears and our entire forming bodies. It’s no wonder that that is often the only voice that can comfort us in the distress of our new little lives. Yet, what of the mother who cannot speak? Can she still comfort her baby? Yes, because it is much more than vocal chords that connect a baby with its birth mother. After all, Baby eats all that Mama eats, breathes Mama’s air, knows Mama’s way of moving and laughing…Baby feels every surge of adrenaline that Mama feels. Bonds don’t get more intimate than that. Even after Baby is born, this bond is strengthened through long bouts of staring into each other’s eyes, through feeling the lulling rhythm of Mama’s breathing while sleeping against her chest, through time spent together saturated in touch and play. This phenomenon of intimacy is so powerful that it surpasses any blindness or handicap Mama could possibly have.
We may be personally responsible for our own misconceptions of gender and masculinity. Our actions about these topics speak louder than words. Sociologist, Ann Oakley argues that parents often mold their children around certain behaviors, with positive and negative consequences, to adhere to the standards that are socially acceptable. Oddly there is a strong back lash to this sort of treatment in females. In a study done conducted by Michael Messner, when asked who was a tomboy and who was a sissy as children, women raised their hands more often to identify with the tomboy image. The tomboy trait celebrates masculinity and restricts femininity. Often children explore many traits about themselves, as Allen explained to Pascoe, “When you’re younger…you’re a kid. You are wide open…You just do what you want” (Pascoe 118). Darnell, a football player, stated “Since you were little boys you’ve been told, ‘hey don’t be a little faggot’” (p 55). Darnell showcasing that males are conditioned very early like females about their roles of masculinity. These children are taught about how masculinity works. In the school Pascoe researched, a faculty member, Mr. Ford, reminded males students through his reply to a backhanded comment made to him from another student that men should engage in sexual actives with women, not men. Another...