Divorce is a word that haunts many young children. Kids don't understand why it's happening; all they know us that they now have two homes, two families, two Christmases. The lives of every member of the family are forever changed. Everything they know and are familiar with will be different. This significant shift in lifestyle can cause many effects on various age groups of people. When a married couple is miserable and unhappy, considering divorce seems like the only answer. Some parents do not consider how much the divorce will affect their lives, along with the lives of their children. When a married couple gets divorced, children in the family have trust issues, teens become rebellious, and the couple themselves often go into severe depression or sadness.
Effects on Adults
The lives of adults who go through a divorce are changed forever. They often times experience financial difficulties, and have troubles providing for themselves due to the lack of two incomes. They now have to pay bills and buy groceries and clothing with only one salary. With only one person helping out around the house, taking care of chores becomes more of a hassle. Adults also experience numerous emotional changes like depression, anxiety, guilt, aggression, substance abuse, etc. (Derichs) Research also show that many adults often have trouble making future relationship commitments. They no longer believe in love and find it very difficult to trust others again. Their self-esteem is extremely damaged during the divorce and it can cause some to refuse to put themselves in a dating environment. Effects on Young Children
Young children whose parents go through a divorce often have different reactions than other members of the family. Seeing their parents...
... middle of paper ...
...ut the reasons why and the kids will be more understanding and accept the divorce more. (Kemp, Smith & Segal, 2013)
Conclusion
When a married couple gets divorced, children in the family have trust issues, teens become rebellious, and the couple themselves often go into severe depression or sadness. In my experience, I have seen several of my friends’ parents go through a divorce. Their cheerful and always happy attitude seems to disappear overnight. Children feel as if the divorce is in some way their fault and they can often times be upset about it. Parents should try for the sake of their children to stay together, but when all else fails divorce should be considered. Working together and not letting their children see their unhappiness is one way that adults can help ease the pain. The lives of children is changed drastically after the divorce of their parents.
Divorce connects with the family stress theory where as stress plays a major role in the separation between the spouses and the relationships between the children. Individuals who go through a divorce can be very stressed out because it is known that divorce is one of the most stressful situations a family can go through where they have to worry and stress over a lot of stuff (Smith, 2009). When going through divorce families lose their spouses, parents, and confidante within their selves, as they are often the primary caregivers of their children. When going through the process of a divorce the family goes through a time where they have severe and mixed emotions which are made more difficult by the stresses and worries of legal and financial problems and also custody battles (Smith, 2009). Divorce has a major negative effect on the parents as well as they have to support and counsel their children who may be involved in the process and are suffering too. Families who are going through a divorce or a parental divorce if it is the spouses or the children are going to experience series of emotional stages due to the post-breakdown (Smith, 2009). Stress from divorce can lead from anger and depression to fear and frustration. Also, families who are coping and managing all the tasks associated with divorce can also lead to anxiety, panic, and depression. The spouses who are straightly involved in the divorce experience different ranges of emotions as they being adults direct the daily tasks and responsibilities of living under the circumstances of a divorce (Smith, 2009). Due to the divorce the required rearrangement of the family especially if children are involved will affect every aspect of the daily...
Divorce is a word that everyone knows very well, no matter what the age. These days, everyone knows at least one person that has either been in a divorce or whose parents are divorced. Today, about 50% of all marriages end in divorce('No-Fault' Divorce, 2004). Between the time that half of those couples get married and divorced, many of them had children. By 2004, "one in four children lived in single-parent homes"('No-Fault' Divorce, 2004). After the divorce, not only are the adults hurting, but the children are also. Throughout the divorce, the parents are caught up in each other, money, possessions, and their own pain that without even realizing it, their children are hurting too. Adults are becoming more careless and think less about how compatible they are to their partners. Some couples have children shortly after the wedding before they adjust to each other. After their children are born, the real problems start to become more relevant. With new problems surfacing and raising children at the same time, it becomes very difficult and divorce sounds like an answer to the problems.
Divorce is a heavy concept that has many implications for those involved. The situation becomes even more consequential when children are considered. As divorce has become more commonplace in society, millions of children are affected by the separation of the nuclear family. How far-reaching are these effects? And is there a time when divorce is beneficial to the lives of the children? This paper will examine some of the major research and several different perspectives regarding the outcomes of divorce for the children involved, and whether it can actually be in the best interest of the kids.
Divorce should be harder to obtain due to the effect that it has on children the main effect it has on the children is depression. “ In the short term divorce is always troublesome for children Mavis Hetherington videotaped and scrutinized the workings of 1400 divorced families since the early 1970’s. Hetherington pinpoints a crisis period of about two years in the immediate aftermath of separation when the adults, preoccupied with their own lives, typically takes their eye off parenting just when their children are reeling from loss and feeling bewildered” (Hethrington 2). This article states that the short term effect of divorce affects the kid deep because they feel that they lost one forever and in those 1400 many of the kids felt the effect of the divorce. “Wallerstein has told us that divorce abruptly ends kids’ childhood, filling it with loneliness and worry about their parents, and hurting them prematurely and recklessly into adolescence. (Wallerstein 2).” This later affects the kids life because they try to think of happy memories they had but really all they can think about is the parent that they loss due to the divorce. “Contrary to the popular perceptions, the alternative to most divorces is not life in a war zone. Though more than 50 percent of all marriages currently end in divorce, experts tell us that only about 15 percent of all unions involve high levels of conflict. In the vast number of divorces, then, there is no gross strife or violence that could warp a youngster’s childhood. The majority of marital break-ups are driven by a quest for greener grass—and in these cases the children will almost always be worse off. (Zinsmeister 2)” this proves to me that when people get a divorce they most of the time don’t ...
Most people, when thinking about divorce, worry about the impact that it has on the children that are involved. Even though children are most likely better off if totally incompatible parents separate instead of staying together, divorce is about loss and change, and it is still hard for children. Everyone knows that divorce has its effects on children. There are three different sources that try to explain these effects. Graham Blaine Jr. states that divorce is a threat to all children, whereas Rhona Mahony states that divorce is not always the cause of behavioral or academic problems in children coming from divorced families. Yvette Walczak and Sheila Burns state that the extent of the damage can be determined by the parents and their methods of explanation to the children.
Divorce is a process that many people in America go through. The divorce rate continues to escalate over the years. Divorce is a serious problem, it is a gradual process that ultimately results in families breaking up. There are various factors in which a marriage can fail and end up in divorce. Some skip the step of trying to reconcile things and make it work. In some cases it is easy for a divorce to take place. For instance, in cases where both parties are in agreement and have no children it is easier to handle a divorce. But in the cases where children are present, what happens to the kids? Both parents are at each others throats or one is devastated from the rejection, what role does the child play? It is a hard thing to cope with as an adult imagine as a little one or even a teenager, it affects them in more ways than anyone can imagine. It can affect them both physically and emotionally. The effects of divorce are immense, it permanently weakens the bond or relationship between a child and his parents. Can lead to them reaching out or looking to others for attention, causing poor attitudes, low self esteem, dropping grades, loss of virginity, use of drugs and or weapons, or in some cases mutilation of the body. There are various effects that children have to deal with that maybe extremely hard to cope with. One parent may say one thing yet the other disagrees and makes it impossible for the child to have a stable relationship with both of them. Children need both biological parents at their side to be guardians and counselors in their lives, to be examples of what they need to do to become outstanding citizens in our community.
Divorce is a very common word in today's society. According to the American Heritage Dictionary, "divorce is the legal dissolution of a marriage or a complete or radical severance of closely connected things"(Pickett, 2000). This dissolution of marriage has increased very rapidly in the past fifty years. In 1950 the ratio of divorce to marriage was one in every four; in 1977 that statistic became one in two. Currently one in every two first marriages results in divorce. In second marriages that figure is considerably higher, with a 67% average (National Vital Statistics Report, 2001). One critical aspect of divorce is often not taken into consideration: How it affects children. Every year 1.1 million children are affected by divorce (Benjamin, 2000). Children from divorce or separation often exhibit behavioral and long-term adjustment problems (Kelly, 2000). Throughout this paper I will discuss divorces effects on children at different age levels, how they react, and what can be done to help them.
It is unfortunate that marriages sometimes end and there are children caught in the middle of the marriage but it may be worst for the parents to stay together simply for the children’s sake. However when parents do divorce the children are the most effected by the divorce. Often enough the divorce causes children to feel displaced and also to have feelings that their world is coming to an end. These children tend to grow into adults with either extreme emotional detachment and self-esteem issues or they will have strong family values and try to prevent the cycle from repeating itself but the majority of these children grow up suffering from the divorce.
The greatest change to happen to family structure in the past century was the increase in divorce rates (Amato 2000 p 1269). Divorce statistics are not easily measured and the perception that 50% of all marriages will end in divorce is overgeneralizing and is incorrect (US Divorce Rates). In all of the studies that have been researched for this paper, it has been shown that being married is associated with better mental health than being unmarried. Various surveys have overall found that divorced individuals, compared to those that are married, “report higher levels of depression, anxiety, and general unhappiness” (Booth p 397). It has also been shown that divorced individuals often have “very high levels of meaninglessness and very low levels of home life satisfaction” (Gove p 131). The mental health effects of divorce depend largely on two factors: whether the individual initiated the divorce or not and the quality of the marriage before the divorce.
In the world we live in today, divorce has unfortunately become a normal thing in our lives. Many married couples are getting divorced for many reasons; problems in the marriage, either a spouse having an affair, a loss of feelings, and many other types of complications. Many divorces involve children who are young and due to their age do not understand what is really going on. We all know someone who has dealt with divorce. Children are the ones who are typically affected the most by the divorce and they will have to learn to cope with their parent’s divorce at such a young age, affecting them in positive or negative ways.
As parents are going through a divorce, it is difficult as is for them accepting a destruction in a relationship that they were once committed to; however, when a child is involved their well being becomes an issue
American Journalist, Helen Rowland said, “ When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn’t a sign that they don’t understand each other, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to” (1). Divorce means the ending of a marriage by legal separation, thus, a couple that were once bonded together have now separated for opposing reasons. Divorce has hurt and destroyed many families across the world and can cause a lot of negativity. Teens often do not know how to deal with the fact that their family is no longer whole and they will transition into a depression. Teens may experience emotional damage by seeing the two most important people in their lives fight constantly. There is a good side and a bad side to seeing parents go through a divorce as a teen. Quite often teens tend to see that, since they are so unhappy, that it is better for them to separate because they do not want to see their parents get hurt. Even when separated, they learn to communicate and bond between one another. The negative side of divorce is that families sometimes stay torn apart, therefore: There is a lot of anger, rage that happens because going through a situation like this is not something that is easy, and many emotions become involved. Dealing with their parents can be difficult for some teens, but for many others, they feel as if a divorce will make their family happier without seeing all of the fighting.
Divorce isn’t always as bad as people portray it. Commonly realized, divorce isn’t a great thing to happen to a family. But being in a bad relationship can have more negative effects on a child than divorce. In a study conducted of 98 couples, that later divorced, 80% of their children felt that their parents split was a good decision. Of the 20% that felt it wasn’t a good decision, most came from more abusive families. Being together in a bad relationship can actually cause more harm than good. Parents commonly think that by staying together for the kid’s sake will it eliminate negative effects and help their kids thrive. Nevertheless they see their parents unhappiness creating a more tense environment. Provided that the parents are abusive or are more vocal about their opinions then it can actually create a traumatic environment around the child, making them feel unsafe or timid constantly. What the minority of people know is that divorce can actually give kids positive vibes. Divorce can teach kids to focus on the positives and keep moving forward in life. In a Harper Collins book it says (We’re still family: What grown Children have to say about their parents divorce) that “ kids more commonly emerge wiser in spite of- or perhaps because of- their complex histories.” Multiple studies have proven, kids who have experienced divorce emerge mo...
Divorce is typically a painful process for all concerned. As psychologists believe “While it can take adults time to regain psychological equilibrium, whether or not children ever recover a stable perspective continues to be debated. Post-divorce hostility between adults, in addition to directly harming kids, is a sure indicator that the emotional split is incomplete. ”(Dealing with divorce, Psychology Today) In the past two decades, divorce trends have been rapidly growing.
Children react differently yet similarly in divorce. Every child caught up in the distress of divorce has a hard time coping with it and imagining their life without a parent. Their anxiety levels peak as they feel they are going to be abandoned. They experience feelings of loneliness due to the loss of the other parent. Different children go through these emotions at different levels and at different times depending on the child’s age. How bad or how well children handle the divorce depends on how the situation is handled. It can throw the child's entire life into a whirlwind.