Effects of Divorce: Larger Than They Seem
Introduction
Imagine a teenage boy, completely happy with a good life and a family that he is close to. He has his own place in the family and a set daily routine that has been in place for over a decade. Now imagine something ripping that family apart. His daily life became anything but routine.
Divorce: Does the Pain Ever Stop?
Divorce is the termination of wedding vows and the cancelation of duties and responsibilities in which both people agreed by saying “I do” on their wedding day. Divorce is a frightening word for many or even a nightmare some never saw coming. When people hear the word divorce, most label it as a representation of failure; others symbolize divorce as putting their foot down and finally having the courage to leave behind a bond that was supposed to be unbreakable. Separation affects people in several different ways; some dread it others welcome it.
An absence of a parent or a parent’s separation, divorce, when a child is developing, may affect the child’s future relationships. “Evidence shows that, on average, children who have experienced parental divorce score somewhat lower than children in first-marriage families on measures of social development, emotional well-being, self-concept, academic performance, educational attainment, and physical health” (Demo, Supple)
Divorce is defined as “a complete or radical severance of closely connected things” and in this particular scenario, it is the separation of man and wife (Divorce). Unfortunately, divorce has emerged as a very likely outcome of marriages today, questioning the ideology that marriages are ‘made in heaven’. As divorce begins to be accepted as a common practice, the separation rates among couples are progressively increasing. The idea of divorce, considered as sin by many, has become a major concern in our society. Divorce of all types are becoming a common occurrence in the United States, but negative effects are leaving men, women and children in psychological turmoil.
“Divorce is a decree by a court that a valid marriage no longer exists. It leaves both parties free to remarry. The court will award custody, divide property, and order spousal and child support” (The American Bar Association 71).
The Reality of Divorce in American Society
As with most life transitions, divorce can be liberating, depressing, frustrating, or traumatic to any person who experiences it. Perhaps the most painful part on the process of divorce is when the children get involved and when they all get trapped in the situation. These children may suffer significant losses in their lives and unless the situation can be handled in a civil manner, they will become prone to the psychological torment that could affect them for the rest of their lives. The issue of divorce however is becoming more and more intense since for the past ten years the divorce rate in the United States has skyrocketed to a record high of almost fifty- percent. It is also believed that the divorce rate in the United States is the highest in the world and the reason for this are primarily the ever-changing role of the husbands and wives in their household, early marriage, infidelity, extra marital affairs, domestic violence, financial instability and psychological incapacity.
Since the creation of mankind, humans all over the world have fallen in love and believe that they have found “the one.” People get married and realize that it is not always “happily ever after.” A large percentage of couples are unable to maintain their relationship, because of this, they choose divorce. Many spouses, believe that this is the best solution to deal with problems between each other. However, many people think carefully before getting entangled into marriage. Nevertheless, divorce rates still continue to increase to this very day. It certainly looks as if divorces occur more now than they did 20 years ago. There are three causes of divorce: changing of a woman’s household status, financial situations, and lack of communication.
Demo, D. H., & Acock, A. C. (1988). The impact of divorce on children. Journal of Marriage
Divorce is not a word many people like to use in casual conversation. It has a derogatory connotation that just leaves a lingering feeling of sadness hanging in the air. Although I grant that there are times when there is nothing left to do but move on in a relationship, I still maintain that a marriage is meant to be for life and it’s not something that should be given up on lightly. “Fifty percent of first marriages, sixty seven percent of second marriages and seventy four of third marriages end in divorce (Baker, 2011.)” That statistic is staggering. Recent studies state that there are three main contributors to the rise in the American divorce rate. They include young age, education, and income. The effects of divorce on children can be detrimental to their development and sense of self, especially during their crucial adolescent years. “Basically, divorce tends to intensify the child’s dependence and it tends to accelerate the adolescent’s independence; it often elicits a more regressive response in the child and more aggressive response in the adolescent (Pickhardt, 2011)” Mr. Pickard acknowledges that children and adolescents respond differently to the ending of a marriage. The three main effects of divorce on adolescents are separation, differentiation, and opposition. Because half of all marriages are likely to end in divorce, parents with adolescents should think clearly before choosing to separate. In order to ensure that they are not placing added stress onto their kids during one of their most hectic stages of life.
Divorce is a process that many people in America go through. The divorce rate continues to escalate over the years. Divorce is a serious problem, it is a gradual process that ultimately results in families breaking up. There are various factors in which a marriage can fail and end up in divorce. Some skip the step of trying to reconcile things and make it work. In some cases it is easy for a divorce to take place. For instance, in cases where both parties are in agreement and have no children it is easier to handle a divorce. But in the cases where children are present, what happens to the kids? Both parents are at each others throats or one is devastated from the rejection, what role does the child play? It is a hard thing to cope with as an adult imagine as a little one or even a teenager, it affects them in more ways than anyone can imagine. It can affect them both physically and emotionally. The effects of divorce are immense, it permanently weakens the bond or relationship between a child and his parents. Can lead to them reaching out or looking to others for attention, causing poor attitudes, low self esteem, dropping grades, loss of virginity, use of drugs and or weapons, or in some cases mutilation of the body. There are various effects that children have to deal with that maybe extremely hard to cope with. One parent may say one thing yet the other disagrees and makes it impossible for the child to have a stable relationship with both of them. Children need both biological parents at their side to be guardians and counselors in their lives, to be examples of what they need to do to become outstanding citizens in our community.