Arranged Marriages Perceptions of arranged marriages often fall victim to exaggerated cultural differences between the East and West which reinforce stereotypes of arranged marriages as being forced, premodern, patriarchal and devoid of romantic love (Arranged Marriage). The biggest threat that arranged marriages face is that if either the boy or the girl is not ready for the marriage, it can lead to serious trouble for the both of them. Finding someone who truly loves you is very hard to do especially if your parents already have your future planned out on who you must marry or disapprove of the one you truely love. This is seen in the main character Nnaemeka from “Marriage Is a Private Affair” by Chinua Achebe. Arranged marriages have been …show more content…
In Chinua Achebe’s story it tells of a boy named Nnaemeka who falls in love with a girl named Nene but is scared to tell his father frightened that will mostly disapprove of his choice in the woman when he has no choice in a girl to start out with. Nnaemeka says “No. I’ve been thinking about it. I think it’s better to tell him when I get home on leave!” (Chinua Achebe 189) which is stating that he is procrastinating the fact that he needs to tell his father that he found a girl that he has his most loving feelings for. For Nnaemeka’s father was raised to believe that arranged marriages were what has to happen and that the women need to not speak and have no say as said Nnaemeka’s father “... I should like to point out to you, Emeka, that no Christian woman should teach. St. Paul in his letter to the Corinthians says that women should keep silence.” (Chinua Achebe 190). Nnaemeka waited for his father to hopefully change his mind but his father’s mind was already set and there was no changing it, his father told him that “It is Satan’s work” (Chinua Achebe 191) on why Nnaemeka was doing the things that he was doing. Some of the older people in the village began to hear of what Nnaemeka was doing with his love life and said that “It is the beginning of the end,” (Chinua Achebe 192). When Nnaemeka and Nene got married Nnaemeka’s father never showed at the wedding nor did he ever have anything to do with his son for eight years. By the end of the story Nnaemeka’s father gets a letter from Nene saying that he has two grand sons and as much as his father tries to hold back the emotions he can not no more. Nnaemeka’s father then realizes that “That night he hardly slept, from remorse and a vague fear that he might die without making it up to them” (Chinua Achebe
According to the author, Lizette Alvarez, in the article “Arranged Marriages Get a Little Reshuffling”, Arranged marriages are better than modern marriages and parents can choose good mates for young. First, the arranged marriage has changed a lot in modern time. Arranged marriages are more flexible because young people can meet several times in some public venues without family members. Parents and elders have become more lenient. Second, arranged marriages have more advantages than modern marriages. Arranged marriages can preserve religion and identity and help people to find their mates in the same social class. Arranged marriages can outlast modern marriages because couples can avoid social and religions disharmony. Finally, young people prefer arranged marriage to modern marriage. Young people would spend less time to find their mate because their parents, chat rooms and dating websites help find mates for them. Young people can easily find their mates who have the same education level and social status. As a young person, I do not agree with the author because other people migh...
However, there is evidence of a positive correlation between love and the length of an arranged marriage (Epstein, Pandit, & Thakar, 2013). Furthermore, the authors summarized previous research findings in which researchers found arranged marriages had a higher level of satisfaction than love marriages in modern civilizations. The fact that both of these trends have come up shows that some western arguments against arranged marriages are founded upon inaccurate
The factors of arranged marriages are chiefly superficial. The most important factor to consider is the reputation of the family. The marriage needs to be respectable without any scandals attached. The goal seems to be to marry into a more prestigious family than one’s own. People who marry down in class, especially women, often disappoint their parents. Some parents will even disown their children if they do not agree with the child’s choice of a partner. In Mr. Smolinsky’s case, he ridicules his daughters into arranged marriages and even criticizes them after they are married. Even though his daughters’ home situations are terrible because of him, he does not take the blame for his matchmaking but rather turns it around on his children. He brought it upon himself to marry off his children by going to a matchmaker in town. He thought a diamond dealer named Moe Mirsky would be a good choice for a son-in-law. His original intent was for him to marry Fania but his daughter, Mashah who was forever heartbroken, agreed to marry him instead. After she married an...
On one hand, in arranged marriages the family of the person chooses the best candidature for marriage because the family wants to create a good couple which will match and the families of men and women are making their choice according to number of benefits it can give. “Many Indians look at marrying a person they don’t know, gives one “a lifetime to learn to love them”, as opposed to the American ideal of learning a person inside and out before entering into marriage. It can be said that an arranged marriage in India is not based on feelings, but rather on commitment” (Debashish, 2013). So this king of building the relations is also taking the feelings into account but the rat...
The article begins by introducing general knowledge about arranged marriages in India. First is the proof of commonality. Arranged marriages are so customary that marriages not arranged
A wedding is a great social event in our society, which establishes a new bond between two individuals and families. Marriage is a joyful occasion with plenty of music, dance, partying and merrymaking. It also brings together long-lost friends, relatives and acquaintances. In India, the parents choose the mate for their child, which is called an arranged marriage. In most cases, the bride and groom do not even talk to each other until after they are married.
In modern day society, it is common for marriage to be an act between two lovers. However, historically many cultures practiced a marriage where love had no correlation. Murasaki Shikibu brilliantly presents this ideal in her book, The Tale of Genji. This work of Japanese fiction takes place during the Heian Period. In this time, marriage was often used to help people alter their social status. This is best demonstrated through the marriage between Lady Aoi and Hikaru Genji. The marriage bonding Aoi-no-ue and Genji, may have been a normality of the time, but that does not mean it was easy. Genji struggles with balancing his marriage to Aoi-no-ue and his true love, Murasaki-no-ue throughout the novel. Though the intentions of the marriage were pure, the unhappy marriage is the result of the unhappiness for both Aoi-no-ue and Murasaki-no-ue.
One of the main arguments for arranged marriages is that parents, being older and more experienced, are better able to find a suitable match for their children. This belief relies on the trust the offspring has that their parents understand what would be best choice or most suitable for their children. This trust is often discouraged by the individualist ideal and rebel teen mentality sponsored by American mass-media. However, in India trust between parent and child are common. When Nanda tried helping arrange a marriage, we see that parents in India weigh many considerations when choosing partners for their children including the statuses of the individuals (including their caste and career path), the social dynamics between the members of both households, and what resources the other family and potential partner have. At least in the case given in the reading, this process can be though and produce a good marriage with stable family ties. Another argument made for arranged marriage is that since the parents are handling the marriage, the children are free to enjoy life and not worry about the details. To a lesser degree in our country, people delegate part of the relationship forming process to others by allowing friends, family, and dating sites or shows to play matchmaker. Though in general, in America the person who would be in the relationship is more involved, and has to worry about handling some of the details. In India, culture is more dependent on family structure so marriage is just as much about forming ties between families as the couple itself, which is part of the reason why the family is so involved in these
Relationships can be discussed in all aspect of life. Including communities, families, marriage, conflicts, and divorce. The gift of any relationship is the gifts from the spirits. The author uses her African teachings, in comparison to how Americans handle different relationships. In the book, “The Spirit of Intimacy,” Sobonfu Some’s gives wisdom insightful experience of her marriage and about the Dagara people of West African beliefs and traditions when facing conflicts in leading to divorcement.
Three different Western marriage customs have influenced the characters in the story "Marriage is a Private Affair" by Chinua Achebe. It is about a Nnaemeke and Nene. Nnaemeke was an Igbo but Nene was from a different part of the country. They fell in love and Nnameke proposed. Then Nnaemeke got a letter from his father telling him about an arranged marriage that is being planned. Very disappointed, Nnaemeke comes home and tells his father that he will not get married to anybody, except Nene. Nnaemeke was kicked out from his father's house and wasn’t wanted there anymore. Happily married, Nnaemeke and Nene, had two sons. They wanted to see their grandpa and wouldn’t stop asking to visit him. When Nnaemeke's father read the letter about his grandsons he couldn’t stop himself from thinking about them. At last he was beginning to open his heart for his son, daughter-in-law, and his grandsons. The first custom was that the parents arranged marriages for their children. Nnaemeka's father had arranged a wedding for him with a girl from his culture. The second custom was that love was not part of the marriages. All that mattered was that she had to be a good Christian and had the potential to become a good wife. The third custom is that the woman had to be raised from the same culture. Women from other cultures were not welcomed in Igbo culture and families. These three customs had a huge affect on Nene's and Nnaemeka's lives.
The story I have chosen for my assignment is `Everything's Arranged' by Siew Yue Killingley. It is about arranged marriages practised by the Indian communities.The story is centered around Rukumani, a young maiden from the Ceylonese Tamil community whose family has settled in Malaya. Probably her father or grandfather was brought to this land by the British those days. Though Rukumani, is sent to study in the university (`MU' as stated in the story ), the thinking of her parents is just like how it was back in their motherland, Sri Lanka. The Ceylonese, however educated, still hold to their tradition, beliefs and family values so adamantly. Education failed to change their thinking. Social life is a taboo for their young sons what more for a daughter.
Each marriage comes with a different perspective and story, whether it is an arranged marriage or love marriage. Arranged and Love marriages are very similar yet different. Love is the pure feeling of attachment. Arrange marriage is like a blind date in hopes to find love. It could be love at first sight or love after a while so in somewhat way they end up being a love marriage after all because the end result is the same as they get married or find love. In this essay there will be comparison done on love marriage and arrange marriage. Each country has a different perspective on each type of marriage. I will be comparing both marriages in America and India. Love Marriages come with a responsibility of their
First, Anowa being a strange woman who refuses to get married and when she finally does decide to get married the man whom she picks is not fitting of her mother’s expectations this is the rift that starts the fall of Anowa. In the Global Crossroads World Literature Badua tells Anowa that “Marriage is like a piece of cloth… and like cloth; its beauty passes with wear and tear” (Iglesias, Mays, and Pierce103). The cloth signifies strength and beauty of a marriage but without the proper consideration and care it will not last. Badua tries to tell her daughter that what may look good today later on may not be so pleasant and may very well rip apart in time ; but because Anowa’s pride she replies to her mother “I like mine and it is none of your business. I do not care, Mother. Have I not told you that this is to be my marriage and not yours?”(Iglesias, Mays, and Pierce103). Anowa’s determination to follow through with her decision seems to be just like many young ladies today who refuse to adhere to the voice of their mother and although the decision they make may be wrong they would rather be stubborn than to admit that the truth of their m...
In general, arranged marriage has provided people fundamental principles about the importance of marriage and how a person can find happiness. Arranged marriage defines marriage between a man and a woman, which arranged by the couple 's parents and relatives based on family ties and traditions. Although marriage is described as the oldest and enduring human institution, the reasons for marrying have differed from culture to culture. In common circumstances, cultural, religious, economic, age, educational level, and racial factors play a role in determining who the person can marry and form which marriage takes. Some statistics find that the rate of divorce is low in arranged marriages and high in love marriages. For years,
In this situation, the first wife, Aissatou, is asked to comply with the circumstances and live with the conditions that are not ideal for most people in a marriage. However, in this situation, Mawdo’s responsibility is to his family rather than God. In addition, he is not attracted to young Nabou at all. In this case, Aunty Nabou primarily makes her son feel guilty by telling him that “[s]hame kills faster than disease” (Bâ, 2008, p. 30).