Summary On Sobonfu Some's The Spirit Of Intimacy

1037 Words3 Pages

Relationships can be discussed in all aspect of life. Including communities, families, marriage, conflicts, and divorce. The gift of any relationship is the gifts from the spirits. The author uses her African teachings, in comparison to how Americans handle different relationships. In the book, “The Spirit of Intimacy,” Sobonfu Some’s gives wisdom insightful experience of her marriage and about the Dagara people of West African beliefs and traditions when facing conflicts in leading to divorcement.
Some’s definition of Marriage is when two souls coming into one soul –still distinct but forming one entity. Being raised in the church, marriage is when two people come together, declaring their wedding vows to each other and to God. Marriage is …show more content…

Some states that divorce is a foreign concept in the village. A person who uses freedom of choice often makes terrible decisions. People in the west will break up rather than deal with certain problems. Divorce never suddenly happens, it occurs as problems build up over time and then the unexpected happens. Not only do a divorce affect the parent’s relationship but the family also. Children being raised in homes without both parents can result to resentment towards their parents. Which could lead to the child’s adult years of not knowing how to remain in a relationship, communicate effectively or he might bring the pain and sorrow he once felt towards his parent, into his existing relationship. When bothered by a specific situation, people should not vanish from a problem nor should one not say something. They should deal with the problem when it’s occurring, rather than waiting to address it later. According to Some, if something doesn’t work, change it. A situation stinks, go somewhere else. Unresolved problems do not just disappear because we walk away. They will show up under a different face in our next relationship. In today society, a marriage doesn’t last as long compared to marriages in the past. Marriages are supposed to help us learn how to love unconditionally as though god loves us. If God won’t abandon you, why should you abandon your spouse? You should invariably stay in one accord, and if you feel …show more content…

The husband’s family will always go ask for the wife hand again and invite her to come back to their compound. She has the choice of returning or not. Only then, at the completion of these separation rituals, is she free to remarry. As a wife, it’s not right for her to refuse to acknowledge her family, whom she was once married into. She shouldn’t have a choice to come back into the compound she never left from. Marriage not only connects the husband and wife, but the families also. No matter how long you’ve been married for, you created memories with everyone around you that will late forever. One example of this is, my cousin Jeffery. Who married his high school sweetheart their senior year in college. Soon after, her family moved away, so my family took her as their own. But five years year into their marriage, my cousin passed away due to sickle cell anemia. This happen almost 20 years ago and till this day, she still comes around for the holidays, family gatherings or even when she’s visiting from out of state. It’s been tradition to say, once you married into a family, you will always be apart of the family. Even if she decides to remarry one day, as a family, we still love her and accept her wishes. I’m in disagreement with what Some had to say when family should have to ask for her hand, due to tragic happening. Same with getting a divorce, just because the married couple had a disagreement between one another,

More about Summary On Sobonfu Some's The Spirit Of Intimacy

Open Document