Satire Essay On Self-Driving Cars

Humans used to have to do their own hunting and gathering to survive. That’s not the case anymore. It’s not because we’ve gotten smarter. It’s because we’ve gotten lazy. We’ve gone from everybody having to chase pigs and grow corn and gather berries in the forest to basically nobody having to. How? Machines. For thousands of years we’ve been building tools and machines to do our physical labor for us - pulleys, bikes, and cars are examples. Nowadays, these machines are fully mechanical. They’re tireless and more reliable than we ever could be. They don’t make nearly as many mistakes. Even so, you might think that there’s no way that machines or robots could sweep the human job industry. Well, sorry, but I think you’re wrong. I think that in

They’re not the future of driving - because they’re already here. And they work really, really well. Remember, they don’t need to be perfect, they just need to be better than us. Given that self-driving cars aren’t drunk, don’t text and drive, aren’t stupid, and don’t get sleepy - it’s pretty easy to see them being a lot better than humans - because they kind of already are. With self-driving cars, lowering the 40,000 yearly vehicle deaths in the US alone should be an easy task. In this situation, us as drivers are comparable to horses before the invention of the car. We thought that because cars freed up horses to do other things besides carry us around, they would be doing more meaningful tasks. However, that’s not the reality. All horses do now are frolic, race, jump over bars and carry the Canadian Mounted Police. And so the same will go with us. With nearly 400,000 (Public Transportation, 2012) people in the US transportation industry that are potentially replaceable by bots, we’re going to have a lot of unemployed people. We’re becoming the new

Let’s look at the millions of Starbucks employees worldwide. Coffee bots are already swooping in, and despite the fact that maybe your guy makes your pumpkin spice latte just right, most people don’t care and just want their cup of Joe. Let’s look at grocery stores. While they’re annoying and always ask you to wait for an attendant, those automated checkout machines are still replacing humans. Now, why is this? With technology getting cheaper, and cheaper, and cheaper, robots are becoming the more viable, economical option despite their limitations. We’ve been coding robots to become intuitive, and while I won’t explain that here, basically we’re able to define sets of rules from which robots can teach themselves to do things. We’re giving the robots the ability to out-phase us. We’re giving the robots our jobs. We’re digging our own