Love and Relationships

explanatory Essay
1708 words
1708 words

Love Defined:
Worldly, Spiritually, Psychologically
Throughout history scholars have grappled with and speculated the concept of love.
The dictionary defines love as, “a profoundly passionate affection for another person, a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child or friend, and sexual passion or desire”. Sigmund Freud viewed love as being a result of sexual instincts. He theorized that during the oral stage from birth and for the first two years of development a child’s mouth is the focus of libidinal gratification, which comes from the pleasure of oral exploration of their environment. As a result the infant associates their mother as being the first object of love (BOOK, p. 460). Much later in development, from puberty into adulthood, an individual learns that sexual satisfaction can come from a partner and the attraction that we feel to that individual is love. Freud attributes love directly to sexual attraction and satisfaction. He denotes that just as in the oral stage of development whereas the mother is responsible for oral gratification an individual’s sexual partner fulfills the need for sexual satisfaction (BOOK, p. 460). This theory equates the need for love as a need for sexual gratification. While studies have been found to prove that an individuals relationship with their parents is attributed for determining an individual’s attachment style; which is strongly correlated with their romantic attachment style. (BOOK, p. 461).
Erik Erikson identifies in his theory of psychosocial development eight stages of maturation. In his sixth stage he identifies our innate need for intimacy or isolation (BOOK, p. 131). As young adults we begin to form intimate, loving relationships with o...

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... will feel loved. However, by keeping the primary goal this self-focused, the counseling fails to sufficiently help set the stage for the transforming power that comes from unselfish love of God and love of others” (Cheong and DiBlasio, 2007, p. 15)

Works Cited

Cheon, R. K., & DiBlasio, F. A. (2007). Christ-like Love and Forgiveness: A Biblical Foundation for Counseling Practice. Journal Of Psychology & Christianity, 26(1), 14-25.

Strong, S. R. (1977). Christian counseling in action. Counseling And Values, 21(2), 89-128. doi:10.1002/j.2161-007X.1977.tb01164.x

Thurston, N. (1994). When 'perfect fear casts out all love': Christian perspectives on the assessment and treatment of shame. Journal Of Psychology And Christianity, 13(1), 69-75.

Worthington, E. L. (1994). Marriage counseling: A Christian approach. Journal Of Psychology And Christianity, 13(2), 166-173.

In this essay, the author

  • Explains that sigmund freud viewed love as being a result of sexual instincts. he attributes love directly to sexual attraction and satisfaction.
  • Explains erik erikson's theory of psychosocial development, which identifies our innate need for intimacy or isolation as young adults. humanistic and existential theorists emphasize that people who realize their potential can have the truest love.
  • Explains maslow's general types of love, being love and deficiency love. theodor reik theorized that being in love is attainable for those who can love for the sake of loving people not simply fixing one’s own problems.
  • Analyzes the differences between the earthly, secular definition of love and a heavenly, godly understanding of it.
  • Explains that eros, phileo, and agape are greek words that are an essential part of christianity and understanding god's idea of love.
  • Explains the word phileo, which refers to brotherly love or close friendship, is indicative of a strong emotional connection or deep friendship.
  • Explains that the greatest love is shown when people lay down their lives for their friends.
  • Describes god's commandments to love one another, since everyone who loves is born of god and knows god.
  • Explains that agape is the most important greek word to describe love and challenges us to go beyond seeing love as a feeling but as an action.
  • Explains that love is not an impulse provoked by feelings but rather an active, deliberate choice. god commands us to love our enemies with the deepest kind of selfless love whether they are deserving or not.
  • Explains that integrating psychological and spiritual components of various dimensions and modalities of love can allow an individual to understand what love means and its impact on developing healthy relationships.
  • Explains that the concept of love perpetuates so many aspects of our lives and our development. it is so complex that we give it credit for.
  • Explains that they struggled with love all their life. they grew up in an incredibly supportive christian home where they were loved unconditionally and accepted fervently.
  • Quotes cheong and diblasio's article on commanding love to those suffering from hurtful family and marital relationships. the goal of counseling is to resolve the problem so that each person feels loved.
  • Explains that christ-like love and forgiveness: a biblical foundation for counseling practice.
  • Opines that perfect fear casts out all love: christian perspectives on the assessment and treatment of shame.
  • Explains worthington, e. l., marriage counseling: a christian approach. journal of psychology and christianity, 13(2), 166-173.
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