Love and Relationships
Karen Horney “Distrust between sexes” proceeds go into the different aspects of Love and Relationships. In this book Horney gives examples on how women deal with emotions which transitions from childhood to adult life. The fundamentals of documentation are displayed in unavoidable ways in most occurrences people run into. People are blind to the fact that love in relationships can be destroyed by overt or covert? In some cases lack of sympathy is then blamed, when relationships don’t work out between two individuals. Some couples fall into social, economic defaults which impacts the relationships. These are issues people never stop to think about, all they want to do is shift the blame to one another in a relationship. Self-preservation is a basic instinct for everyone and is present at birth. This can enhance the natural fear of losing ourselves in a relationship (Horney 1930). In Horney discussions I found that a person only feels despair because of the deep emotions of abundant from “Love” during childhood. That can develop more mixed emotions that turn into mistrust, which causes delusions that tell them they are not getting love from their partner (Horney 1930). With these types of feelings mistrust sips into relationships, starting from a child carries over into adult life. Reasons are when a child comes into the world learns everything it needs to know from its parent. If the child’s emotional needs are not taken care of when the family increases, the child will feel a need to compete for affection from the parents, which could turn into a painful situation. With this being said the child grows into an adult with suppressed aggression. If he/she has not learned how to deal with...
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...lationships, but the husband did not change. This angered Carroll and she began to dislike her husband and feel he was mistreating her, which triggered revenge. Through this chain of events the couples miss the real experience of passion. This is all contributed to the innate wiring that is a natural feeling in a human when it is born into the world. This is a basic instinct that alerts a person to protect oneself when it senses something it fears. When couples use their intellect, and deduction along with psychoanalysis to determine love, it could be a bit disappointing. I do agree with Horney. Horney has touched some points, like trust and mistrust, confused emotions start from childhood. Love and power are mixed together and used to control relationships. It’s all a part of the power men want to have to dominate women.
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Love isn’t any of those things and although she never admitted to them being the correct way to love someone, she felt that in some sense someone that was willing to go to those extremes was because they were in love. Terri’s ex, Ed, showed love in an unhealthy level of being physically dangerous to the person he proclaimed to care for. Then, we have Laura’s and Nick’s relationship; As a reader there wasn’t much description about what they’re thoughts on love was, but we do know that they had recently been married. With this small detail, Carver lead us to almost everything we needed to know about their thoughts on love. They were in the honeymoon stage, where everything is perfect. He shows this by depicting Laura and Nick’s interaction with one another. It was small gestures like the flushing of skin when they would look at each other, or the kisses and the simple fact that Nick stated that “In addition to being in love, we like each other and enjoy each others company. She’s easy to be with.”. (Carver 174) They were at the beginning of the spectrum where they were still infatuated with each other. They couldn’t
The movie When a Man Loves a Woman is a story of Alice Green who has a serious drinking problem that ultimately ruined her family relationship but she was rescued and is forgiven by her family. She is a school counsellor who has a beautiful family of an airplane pilot husband alongside two beautiful and intelligent daughters revealed her alcoholic side to the family. The alcoholic mother and school counsellor, who is the main character of the film, repeatedly got herself into trouble with her alcoholism to the extent she got herself hurt and admitted to a hospital. Alice experienced the typical alcoholic’s stages that are cause of alcoholism, effects felt by the alcoholic’s family, recognition and rehabilitation.
Ninety percent of Americans marry by the time that they are fifty; however, forty to fifty percent of marriages end in divorce ("Marriage and Divorce"). Love and marriage are said to go hand in hand, so why does true love not persist? True, whole-hearted, and long-lasting love is as difficult to find as a black cat in a coal cellar. Loveless marriages are more common than ever, and the divorce rate reflects this. The forms of love seen between these many marriages is often fleeting. Raymond Carver explores these many forms of love, how they create happiness, sadness, and anything in between, and how they contrast from true love, through his characters in "What We Talk About When We Talk About Love". Four couples are presented: Mel and Terri, Nick and Laura, Ed and Terri, and, most importantly, an unnamed elderly couple; each couple exhibits a variation on the word love.
The article, “Measurement of Romantic Love” written by Zick Rubin, expresses the initial research aimed at presenting and validating the social-psychological construct of romantic love. The author assumed that love should be measured independently from liking. In this research, the romantic love was also conceptualized to three elements: affiliative and depend need, an orientation of exclusiveness and absorption, and finally a predisposition to help.
A pessimistic view of love doesn’t have to be one of abuse and lying, it can be as simple as just not knowing what love is. Raymond Carver presents a pessimistic view of love in his short story “What We Talk about When We Talk about Love” with the use of imagery, tone, and characterization. While Carver tells the story of four friends sitting at a table talking about love he allows the reader to evaluate the strength and authenticity of his character’s relationships. Carver does have his characters discuss abuse and lying, but the underlying theme to his pessimism deals more with the unknown things about love or that his characters just don’t understand it.
Robert Nozick’s Love’s Bond is a clear summary of components, goals, challenges, and limitations of romantic love. Nozick gives a description of love as having your wellbeing linked with that of someone and something you love. I agree with ideas that Nozick has explained concerning the definition of love, but individuals have their meaning of love. Every individual has a remarkable thing that will bring happiness and contentment in their lives. While sometimes it is hard to practice unconditional love, couples should love unconditionally because it is a true love that is more than infatuation and overcomes minor character flaw.
In Aldrous Huxley’s A Brave New World, pleasure is the main driving force in life. The government uses tools such as the wonder drug soma and the endorphins naturally released during and after sexual intercourse to keep the minds of their well-tended flock off of matters that might concern them if they had not previously been conditioned to resort to a vice the moment that they begin to conceive an ill thought. Lenina 's adulation of John, the Savage, is perhaps one of the more obvious triggers of soma usage within the novel. Lenina does not understand John 's concept of love, and attempts to show her affection in the only way she knows how, and that is by having sex with him. She thinks this is a normal act, but for him, it is sanctity. John believes that one should only express their passion through sex if they are married as is the custom on the reservation. This leads John to call Lenina many obscene names and to send her into the tender arms of soma instead. She merely wishes him to reciprocate her advances, which she would take as meaning that he was happy to be with her. She simply wants the both of them to be joyous in their carnal revelry but “Happiness is a hard master – particularly other people 's happiness. A much harder master, if one isn 't conditioned to accept it unquestioningly, than truth” (Huxley 227, Brave New World). John and Lenina are very different people however, as Lenina tells Bernard “I don 't understand … why you don 't take
“Love in LA” is a short story written by Dagoberto Gilb. The story is written in third person point of view. The author is an American writer that writes extensively. He was born and raised in Los Angeles, California. His mother came from across the Mexican border, yet his father is from Kentucky. Gilb’s parents were also raised in parts of Los Angeles. His mother’s home was in Downtown, while his father resided in Boyle Heights. His parents’ careers were vastly different his mother was a model and later a dental assistant, while his father made a living off of an industrial laundry business. When he was a child, his parents divorced, and he remained living with his mother. After Gilb graduated high school he went to multiple community colleges, then he transferred to the University of California. He majored in Philosophy and Religious Studies. Before Dagoberto became the prominent writer he is now he worked in many construction-like jobs. His writing career began when he was inspired by Raymond Carver who was near his school teaching others.
“The Love of My Life,” by T. Coraghessan Boyle tells the story of a couple in college who end up having a baby that they throw away out of fear (Boyle, 563). This story starts with how in love China and Jeremy were which soon takes a turn for the worst. China and Jeremy are madly in love but as they attend separate colleges they become distant, especially when China becomes pregnant (Boyle, 563). Jeremy in a panic does what a mostly unresponsive China requests of him, get rid of “it”(Boyle, 563). Learning of the horrifying crime that Jeremy and China committed leaves readers wondering one thing. What made these young adults think what they did was reasonable? Although there are no true answers one can provide, there are multiple reasons: influential hold of the media, expectations of society, and the internal conflict of right and wrong.
After entering into the statehood of married women, she starts searching for an ideal love. But very soon she realizes the pointlessness of her search. She finds the remedy worse than the disease. For example, she turns to a group of lovers when she fails to find or receive love from her large husband. But they said each of them, she does not love, she cannot love, it is not. In my nature to love, but she can be kind to you. What she needs is not kindness but love. They only toy with her physical body and do not fulfill her spiritual needs.
Prompt #3: “Most often, literary works have both internal conflict (individual v. self) and external conflict (individual v. individual, society, nature, or technology)”.
Envy and Love In Kelly Link’s collection of short stories Get in Trouble, the story “The New Boyfriend” talks about how envy in relationships and how it is a metaphor for relationships we have in the real world. One reviewer writes, “Link perfectly mimics the cadences of teenagers talking to one another, the sniping and jealousy and longing. The story is hilarious as it plays with romance and vampire conventions, and it’s explores the notion of teenagers girls trying on love for the first time, and figuring out what it is you’re “supposed” to do”(Wolitzer np). In this story, Link focuses on how adolescents deal with jealousy and love when trying to navigate relationships. In order to understand how relationships work in this story, the encounters
Of all the materials that we have covered in class so far, one short story has stuck with me more than the others. “The Love of My Life,” by T.C Boyle, is a short fiction that revolves around two young lovers. I’ll admit that when I first started to read this short story, I did not expect it to have the ending that it did. Like most of the stories that we have read so far, I figured that this was going to be another story with abortion as a main theme. Although I wasn’t wrong about it being a pregnancy gone wrong themed story, I didn’t expect the ending to be as gruesome as it actually was. What Boyle did was take a recurrent theme, in this case pregnancy, and twist it into something much more disturbing in my opinion.
Love has been the cause of some of the greatest feats, discoveries, and battles in the history of man. It has driven men to insanity and despair, while it has lead others to happiness and bliss. This idea that love has a strong influence on man’s decisions can be seen in the poem, “Love is not all” by Edna St. Vincent Millay. The most prominent theme presented in “Love is not all” is that although love is not a necessity of life, it somehow manages to provoke such great desire and happiness that it becomes important.
The ultimate demise of my parents marriage was due, in part, to my mother’s infidelity. My brothers and I were caught in the middle of intense marital warfare on a daily basis. My childhood permeated with hostility and animosity. One might assume with that type of environment, and the obvious neglect of advantageous relationships, I too would find it hard to sustain a healthy relationship with the opposite sex. That assumption would be correct. It was not until my step-mother came into the picture, that I understood what a normal, healthy, loving relationship looked like. However, the damage was done, the trust was gone and my heart had irrevocable damage. The lasting effects of an odious divorce on a child are rather uncanny if you ask me.