Everybody was curious as to why but I had no answer for them except for, “I don’t know.” I took a bath that night which I never had, turned off the lights and just cried endless tears. As I sat down in the pitch darkness I thought to myself, what if everything had panned out differently. What if I had woken up and my name was on the list. Either way it was done with and I would not be able to play soccer my senior year. Nobody at school could every imagine the emotional emptiness I had been through the past 24 hours.
I was annoyed because I had to stay there, all because she could not stand me being at home with her anymore. She does not even bother to look at my face when I am home with her. Why would it have mattered if I stayed there? During the first night, I had another bad episode, which caused me to become violent out of frustration. All I wanted was to go home and sleep in my own bed.
Najemy (89) argues that the theory of authentic happiness provides an approach for explaining happiness since it employs positive emotions, engagement, and meaning to describe such emotion. The theory states that happiness is the feeling that accompanies other positive emotions such pleasure, comfort and ecstasy. Subsequently, engagement involves flowing with aspects that enhance pleasure. Some of the aspects that initiate flows include listening to favorite music and loss of self-consciousness during involving activities. This aspect of happiness enables individuals to merge with an object of interest.
Modern theories of self-esteem established the idea of believing one’s abilities and worth or value. It is the extent to which one likes, accepts, and respects oneself (Masters & Wallace, 2011). Likewise, life is only genuinely satisfying if one is able to discover the value within. One of the most superlative ways of discovering this value is through nourishing strengths with the goal of contributing to the happiness of others. The concluding stage which is meaningful life pertains to the deep sense of fulfillment by employing the strengths not only for oneself.
Actually, happiness is measured not only by one’s present situation but also by their past and future actions and thoughts. Tatarkiewicz defines happiness as the “satisfaction with one’s life as a whole” (Tatarkiewicz, 193). He believes that “happiness is certainly not something that could be exactly ascertained and measured”(Citation !!!) but it is something that needs to be evaluated over one’s lifetime and not just in the moment (Tatarkiewicz, 193). One’s memory of the past can cloud their current state of happiness while their future can boost their current emotion.
I just can't find the courage in myself to look after my son, after what happened. The fear is tearing me apart. Even the paintings on the wall look as though they are umpiring my every move, looking at what a bad mother I have become. This is all because of that one night. Babysitting.
for the question “ how can we define the happiness?” I think we also have the self-answer but for more clearly I am going to define it right now fullest as possible. Happiness is thought of as the good life, freedom from suffering, flourishing, well-being, joy, prosperity and pleasure. So, this is one more question. How can be a happier person? How to reach the happiness?
I could not fathom the quintessential 'Why me?' question and got caught up in self-sympathy. I was terribly depressed. Those were some difficult months I lived through. Swimming in a concoction of emotions - anger, despair, guilt and remorse - I confined myself to the security of home.