The book “Caring for Yourself While Caring for Your Aging Parents” written by Clare Berman discusses all of the key issues involved in caring for an elderly parent. Berman discusses these issues by drawing from her personal experience and interviews with caregivers. Berman also provides advice and information on: Caregivers, stress among siblings, long distance caregiving, finances and nursing home care (Berman, 2005). This paper will evaluate the way in which the author handled the subject of caring for your aging parents as well as yourself, and how the book contributed to my understanding of the issues discussed. This paper will do so by reviewing a plot summary, character analyses and theme analyses.
Plot Summary - Berman’s book serves
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Berman is seen as the protagonist in the book due to her battle with caring for her aging mother and mother in law with Alzheimer’s. Berman’s core quest is to care for her aging mother and mother in law, while caring for herself. This quest is so important to Berman because while she is acting as a caretaker for her loved ones, she is going through an emotional turmoil within herself. The pressure and responsibility of caring for her loved ones is causing Berman to feel angry, resentful and at times unworthy. Berman is willing to sacrifice her pride to regain control of her life and emotions, as well as being a better caretaker for her loved ones. I believe that Berman’s actions commensurate with the perceived value of her …show more content…
Often throughout the book Berman describes her struggles and triumphs in caring for her mother. While she treats her mother as her superior and with respect, because this is her parent and cared for her as a child, there are often times when Berman slips into treating her mother as a subordinate. When Berman’s mother continuously asks Berman repetitive questions, and forgets how to do daily living tasks by herself due to her Alzheimer’s, Berman goes into treating her as a subordinate or almost childlike. These interactions were consistent with my expectations of Berman’s assigned role as a caregiver. I assumed that Berman would treat her mother more childlike than as an adult because her mother was in such a fragile state. I have a loved one who is currently caring for the older adult in their family with Alzheimer’s and I can hear the strain in caring for the older adult. There are times when I will hear this family member on the phone ask repetitive questions, not remember where he/she is, as well as what time period they are in. Issues such as these can be so troublesome for the loved ones caring for them. It can also force a reversal of the adult/child relationship because now the child seems to be faced with the adult tasks and responsibilities, and the older adult is somewhat childlike in that
Lily’s idea of home is having loving parent/mother figures who can help guide her in life. Because of this desire, she leaves T. Ray and begins to search for her true identity. This quest for acceptance leads her to meet the Calendar Sisters. This “home” that she finds brightly displays the ideas of identity and feminine society. Though Lily could not find these attributes with T. Ray at the peach house, she eventually learns the truth behind her identity at the pink house, where she discovers the locus of identity that resides within herself and among the feminine community there. Just like in any coming-of-age story, Lily uncovers the true meaning of womanhood and her true self, allowing her to blossom among the feminine influence that surrounds her at the pink house. Lily finds acceptance among the Daughters of Mary, highlighting the larger meaning of acceptance and identity in the novel.
In her struggle she is worried that her only child at this time cannot handle the pressure of having to take care of her and her husband when they are old. She says, “It’s too much pressure on my one kid to expect her to shoulder all those duties alone.” This struggle is something that concerns her throughout the article. Estroff states that “The moment of truth for adult sibling relationship is the aging of parents and decisions about end-of-life parental care.” Both authors feel that the hardest times siblings will have to deal with life issues, is when their parents come to the place they cannot care for themselves. During that time is the moment of truth for siblings, if they can handle the pressure together and work together through the hard choices, or if this could cause them to fall apart. These situations force siblings to either deal with their differences for the sake of the parent, or their differences are so monumental that the burden of the parent falls on one of them or the parent is left to fend for herself, which could end the parent up in a nursing
One of the occurring themes is of bravery. The Walls children face adversity when moving from place to place, dealing with bullies and their father goes into an alcohol induced rage. “Brian, Maureen, Lori and I got into more fights than most kids.” Walls tells the readers on page 164. The kids had to learn to stand up for themselves in a harsh community; they had to be brave. Walls also used the theme of forgiveness to teach about the importance of forgiving those who wronged you. Her parents constantly ignored their children’s needs and mistreated them, but in the end they were forgiven for all of that and they were a regular family. “We raised our glasses. I could almost hear Dad chuckling at Mom’s comment in the way he did when he was truly enjoying something.” (Walls 288). The purpose of this comment is to wrap up the story, but it also shows forgiveness and growth. By the end of the book all was forgiven, the neglect, the stealing, the cheating and the lying, and they were family. These themes in the book are an overarching device that is a great tool to show the moral or lesson of the certain story.
Roberto, K. A., & Jarrott, S. E. (2008, January). Family Caregivers of Older Adults: A Life Span Perspective. Family Relations , 100-111.
A breathtaking saga of a young girl’s tragic memories of her childhood. As with Ellen, Gibbons’ parents both died before she was twelve-years-old, forming the family. basis of the plot and themes of this novel. The fond memories she possessed of her mother and the harsh ones of her father are reflected in the thoughts and actions of Ellen. The simplistic and humble attitude that both Gibbons and Ellen epitomizes in the novel is portrayed through diction and dialogue.
(Davidson, F. G.) Due to the nature of dementia being a neuropsychological disorder, those affected by the disease tend to look like they will not require much care, which, in reality, they often require more care than the caregiver originally expected, leading to stress and burnout. Another effect caused by this can be the caregiver blaming themselves by feeling like they are failing to give proper care, which, in reality, can often be very far from the truth. If the caregiver does not receive help from anyone else, the task of watching over the victim becomes a daunting twenty for hour task. Sometimes, the caregiver won’t be allowed quality sleep. Over 66 percent of home caregivers suffer from some form of psychological or physical illness. The most common illness that is resulted from giving care to Alzheimer’s disease is depression. The caregiver needs to monitor their emotional well-being as well as the well-being as the person that they are giving care to. Usually, giving care to those with dementia is actually more stressful than giving care to those with cancer. When the caregiver is a family member and not a professional, the emotional toll is often even greater. It is important for caregivers to remember that they need to take care of themselves first and
Also, because this chapter refers to another work of O’Connor, I plan to use this source as an extra pillar for my thesis statement or possibly for my view on how the Grandmother is accountable for all the mishaps in the story.
The point of view and tone for this story helps relate to the theme. The narrative is in third person point of view with limited omniscient. This means that the reader is able to go inside the mind of the grandmother and know what she is thinking and feeling. The only ot...
The theme of this book is that the human capacity to adapt to and find happiness in the most difficult circumstances. Each character in the novel shows this in their way. For instance, their family is randomly taken from their home and forced to work but they still remain a close nit family. In addition, they even manage to stick together after being separated for one of their own. These show how even in the darkest time they still manage to find a glimmer of hope and they pursued on.
I learned from the book that a former student reconnected with his old college professoi Morrie who was diagnosed with ALS (a terminal disease). Through their reconnection, Mitch and Morrie begin to meet every Tuesdays to discuss the different problems they face and the meaning of life. Also, choosing not to live his final months in fear. Morrie meditated on life and spread his ideas in the form of short aphorisms.
-Sonnenberg, E. 2008.Caregiver Stress: The Impact of Chronic Disease on the Family. Available at: http://www.beliefnet.com/healthandhealing/getcontent.aspx?cid=74397.Access date 21 December 2013.
Older adults are a very knowledgeable population and have had a lot of life experiences. As people age, things start to change physically, mentally, and socially. It’s important to understand the process of aging, so that older adults can be taken care of properly. I interviewed P.R. who is a 71-year-old male that lives alone in his home. P.R. is a retired coal miner, and is currently living off his social security and savings. He lives close to both his daughter and son, who frequently help him out with things that are needed. P.R. was able to give me a lot of insight about specific challenges that he has experienced in his life that is associated with aging. I will be discussing challenges that P.R experienced physically, mentally,
In this book review I represent and analyze the three themes I found the most significant in the novel.
The Theory of Caregiver Stress explains the primary caregiver’s social role, how they reduce stress, and how they cope with stress. Tsai (2003) was able to list several propositions in this theory that can be found and applied in the nursing practice. Many research articles have related or applied the Theory of Caregiver Stress in the recent years. This paper will explain those propositions in the Theory of Caregiver Stress as well as several examples that are applied to this theory.
The Theory of Caregiver Stress was a significant breakthrough for the reasoning of why caregivers are so deeply affected by this job. “The Theory of Caregiver Stress was derived from the Roy Adaptation Model to use as basis in understanding the relationships among caregivers and the stress faced when caring for a chronically ill relative” (Tsai, 2003). The Theory of Caregiver stress is a middle-range theory used to predict the outcome for stress and other various side effects (Dobratz, 2011). These adverse effects are predicted by: Demographic Characteristics, Burden in Caregiving, Stressful life events, Social Support and Social Roles. Also, because of the multitude of different scenarios and background for both the patient and the caregiver, these categories are necessary to compare and effectively use the results. The theory makes four main assumptions regarding adaption: “environmental change; the caregivers’ perceptions will determine how they will respond to the environmental stimuli; the caregivers’ adaptation is a function of their environmental stimuli and adaptation level, and lastly the caregivers’ effectors are results of chronic caregiving such examples include marital satisfaction and self-...