Deborah Tannen Sex Lies And Conversation Summary

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The article “Sex, Lies and Conversation; Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to EachOther?” by Deborah Tannen talks about the possible reasons as to why it is difficult for men and women to communicate with each other in their everyday lives. She begins by explaining about a gathering that she addressed in which woman attended with their husbands. During the gathering she experiences a man who was chattering the whole time yet stated that his wife is actually the talker in the relationship when it comes to nonpublic communication. Tannen than begins to analyze as to why, in the modern world, men prefer their wives to be the talker in their relationship, and how could miscommunication, lead to divorce. Tannen addresses multiple causes about why men and woman react so differently when it comes to talking to each other, such as childhood conditioning, different attention processing, and misinterpretation when speaking. …show more content…

Tannen states that “in girls, intimacy is the fabric of relationships, and talk is the thread from which it is woven”. This represents the importance of talk and how it maintains friendships between girls. Boys on the other hand prefer to do, than to talk. They simply don’t see talking as a necessity to keep their bonds strong, instead hanging out and doing stuff together like playing at an arcade or doing sports, is the true fabric of a relationship. Growing up with these different beliefs and interactions, makes it difficult for boys and girls to communicate, because as Tannen mentioned “men don't know what kind of talk women want, and they don’t miss it when it isn’t there”. However talk is not the only thing that is communicated differently in all girl groups versus all boy

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