Control, Fear, and Intimidation in a Relationship Equates to Domestic Violence

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Relationship violence, also known as domestic violence, occurs when one person in the relationship uses violence to control, instill fear, intimidate, and hurt the other person. This type of violence is a serious problem. It happens to individuals of all ethnic and socioeconomic backgrounds. It occurs in heterosexual relationships, as well as same-sex relationships. It can occur while the individuals are still involved, during a break-up, or when the relationship has come to an end. Most people who hear that there is violent, abusive behavior in a relationship think it is the man that is committing this type of behavior, but it can be committed by either the man or woman. According to U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics, 85% of women experienced some type of violence in their relationship, while 15% of men stated they have (U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics, 2013).
Relationship abuse can be understood as a continuing three-phase pattern. According to Woods (1992), the battering cycle starts out in the honeymoon phase (when everything is going good), then moves on to the tension building phase (when minor incidents happen, for example, yelling), escalates to the explosive stage (when the individual is physically hurt), and then returns back to the honeymoon phase (apologies are made and the relationship continues).
When you think of abuse, physical violence comes to mind, but there are multiple types of abuse in relationships. Not only is there physical abuse, there are other acts of abuse which include emotional and sexual. Abuse does not only involve putting one’s hands on another, it can also involve spitting on the individual.
Emotional abuse often precedes, occurs with, and/or follo...

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...rning where to go for help. But if an individual decides to leave the relationship safely they have to have an exit plan. In order to do this there are certain steps that should be taken. The National Domestic Violence Hotline suggests following these steps to improve your chances of leaving safely.
1. Know the phone number to your local battered women's shelter.
2. Let a trusted family member, friend, coworker or neighbors know your situation.
3. Keep any evidence of physical abuse, such as pictures.
4. Plan with your children and identify a safe place for them.
5. Hide an extra set of car keys.
6. Set money aside. Ask friends or family members to hold money for you.
7. Pack a bag and any important documents.
8. Know abuser's schedule and safe times to leave.
9. Take important phone numbers of friends, relatives, doctors, schools, etc.
10. Create a false trail.

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