Barbara Fredrickson

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Barbara Fredrickson challenges many of the preconceptions we have about love in “Selections from Love 2.0” of the New Humanities Reader. Love is traditionally thought of as being the connection which is shared only with the people closest to you like, your family or your wife. Fredrickson refutes this and even says that love isn’t “exclusive lasting or unconditional” and dismisses these as wishes that people have about love. She believes that in order for all of us to truly understand love, we shouldn't equate it to these preconceived ideas. Although, it is difficult to think of relationships and commitment as separate from love, this is what Fredrickson thinks is necessary in order to have a scientific discussion. The concept of “neural coupling” …show more content…

One member usually gives up their last name to take their partner’s name, finances and other resources are often shared, and each partner may sometimes even give up a loved hobby to spend more time with the other person. These sacrifices can lead to the “loss in sense of self”. In many marriages, partners may promise “unconditional love” which is simply not true according to Fredrickson. In this quote, Fredrickson illustrates what marriage actually is “Even so, that special bond and the commitments people often build around it are better taken as the products of love- the results of many smaller moments in which love infuses you- rather than as love per se” (Fredrickson 108). According to this, love is those shorter moments in which we experience it instead of the actual marriage, which occurs because of these moments. Commitments are built around the amount of times the love is infused in …show more content…

Since this love between people can be found even with a stranger.. Many marriages in America today end up in divorce and this concept of coupling may explain why. Many people divorce their partner because they believe that they no longer love their partner. According to Fredrickson, this isn’t true, “Nor is it something ‘out there’ that you can fall into or- years later- out of” (Fredrickson 108). Fredrickson says that you cannot fall out of love. Couples today may cite this as a the reason for their divorce even though it isn’t how love actually works. They just have a lack of positive resonance. Being able to reach “love” with a complete stranger in an airport is hard to accept for most people. When couples lack the moments of positive resonance, they lose the empathy they have, causing the lack in sense of

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