Communication is your marriage as blood that runs through your veins is the body. The blood in the body carries nutrition. Therefore without the blood it will not work.
The blood carries disease fighters. The blood carries life-giving oxygen. The blood carries away poisons. Good healthy blood is critical for the body; communication is equally as vital for marriage. It is a very high priority! Pray for the gift of communication to come forth in God’s grace to be able to use it effectively. Ask for the Holy Spirit’s help in effective communication.
There are five levels of communication:
(1) CLICHES – Typical, routine, often repeated comments, questions and answers given out of habit and with no real forethought or genuine intent. "How are you?" "Fine." "Having a good day?" "Yes."
(2) EXCHANGE OF FACTS – Information/Statistics about the weather, the office, friends, the news, personal activities, etc. Requires no in depth thinking or feeling.
(3) OPINIONS – Includes concerns, expectations, and personal goals, dreams, and desires. Due to differences of opinion that naturally arise between two people, especially between men and women, this is typically the level at which we run into the "wall of conflict."
(4) FEELINGS – Having gone through the "wall of conflict" via applying the communication skills following, you both feel safe to share your deepest emotions.
(5) NEEDS – The deepest level of communication and intimacy where you feel completely safe to reveal your unique needs with each other. Truly, unless needs are known and met, a couple will remain "strangers." This is where you share your struggles and insecurities.
Communication styles (that is; how we communicate) vary from person to person. In gene...
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...deal about each other without really knowing one another. Communication is the process that allows people to know each other, to relate to each other, and to understand the true meaning of the other person 's life.
BEWARE OF A CLOSED SPIRIT
Gary Smalley wrote about a closed spirit in Love is a Decision. Here he describes how there are a few ways to close your mate 's spirit (does the term-closed spirit make sense to you?):
• Speaking harsh words
• Belittling a person 's opinions
• Being unwilling to admit when we are wrong
• Taking a person for granted
• Making jokes or sarcastic comments at the other person 's expense
• Not trusting the other person
• Forcing the other person to do something he/she is uncomfortable with
• Being rude to that person in front of others
• Ignoring a person 's genuine needs as unimportant or not, nearly as valuable as our own
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