Choosing Sides: Being a Child of Divorced Parents

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“Hey Alexander, I have a question to ask you. Have you ever considered living with me?” These are the words that my dad spoke to me on a scorching June day in 2005. I was paralyzed, not knowing quite how to respond to the question. The question was not shocking to me; my dad had hinted it for a while. What I did not know, however, was that this question was going to impact my life.
Divorce is an awful thing. One of the only things worse is being a child of divorced parents. The concept that my parents no longer wanted to be with each other was heart-breaking to me. Even though I was only 6 at the time it impacted my life greatly. Both of my parents getting remarried was just as atrocious. Me being young I thought that there was a chance they were mad at each other, and would eventually get back together, after some time apart. Getting remarried closed that door solidly.
Years went by until the summer before my fourth grade year. My dad wanted to go on a family vacation to Kansas City for a weekend. It was a blast; we stayed in a cabin outside of Worlds of Fun and went to the two parks. On the car ride home my dad popped the question. Being confined to a 5 passenger Camry there was nowhere to go. The silence that followed was eerie. Nobody spoke for a minute or two, until my sister broke the silence, “Yeah, I want to live with you.” Not knowing how to respond I sort of gave a half-hearted shake of my head in agreement.
The weeks went on until my dad decided that he wanted to take my mom to court. I still at that point had zero clue, whether or not I truly wanted to live with my dad. To make matters worse there was constant propaganda from both of my parents, as to how bad of a parent the other one was. I felt as though I was ...

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...he right decision? Was my dad going to never want to see me ever again? These were tough questions for young kid to handle. I spent many a night wondering whether I had made the right decision and what I could have said that would have made the judge rule differently.
Choosing sides is incredibly arduous; one side is always going to lose. Looking back on my decision, I know I made the right one. My step-mom eventually went crazy, which led to my dad getting a divorce. If I had gone to live with my dad, I would have been sucked up in that gigantic mess. My mom and dad get along now. It is a rare occurrence when they are both not at one of my sporting events, both cheering me on together. It is hard to imagine how different my life would have been, if I had told the judge I wanted to live with my dad. All that I know is that I am truly glad I made the decision I did.

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