Several times a week, I like to go running through the park. Though some days are more crowded than others, I usually run past a few people walking or riding a bike on the other half of the sidewalk. I am a shy person, but I do smile, wave, and say hello to these people I pass on my runs. Common courtesy. In such close proximity, you would think that every person I greet would return the salutation. But, alas, this is not always so. More than half the people I acknowledge in public fail to respond. Some just ignore me, while others reject me by breaking accidental eye contact. Some seem caught off guard by my unexpected friendliness, dropping their jaws though still not responding. Have these become the normal responses to every day attempts at human interaction? Is it so abnormal to exhibit “common” courtesy? For every unaccepted greeting, we are that much closer to becoming an uncivilized and desensitized people.
“Hi.” I smile, raising my hand in acknowledgement of whomever I pass. A man receiving my gesture falters in his step. A woman’s eyes widen in distrust. “Stay away from me...
Because of his cultural and racial background, this gentleman was not hesitant to engage in a conversation. He happily shook my hand and it took him a while to step back because I was gradually standing closer and
“I’m not concerned with your liking or disliking me…all I ask is that you respect me as a human being.”
One big implicit social norm involves personal space. In our society it is implicitly know that you give people enough space when waiting in line or when sitting next to them as not to invade their personal bubble. I thought it would be particularly interesting to see what people did the moment you crossed that “bubble line.” Periodically throughout the day I would intrude upon people’s bubbles. For varied results, this occurred in classrooms, the elevator, the lunch line, the lunch table, and at work. During classes and at lunch I would move my chair really close to that of the person next to me. While in the lunch line and in the elevator I would stand really close to the person, even if there was plenty of space to spread out. At work, again I stood really close to the person when talking to them.
I carried out each violation of nonverbal norms five times with five different people, all within five different places. First violation took place at my local supermarket. I was in line with my shopping cart ready to check out. In front of me was an individual also checking out. I decided to bring my shopping cart as close to them as I can without touching them. Every time I did that, they would move further away from the cart. I did it at least three times before the individual turned around and gave me a firm look with their eyes as I looked down.
... you see someone. But having a few laughs about what you just did because you looked ridiculous doing it, is all apart of life! I live by the motto that life is suppose to be fun. It shouldn’t be all serious and work. You need to have a little time for adventure as well. Some things can be a little strange, such as eating with your hands, but hopefully that person you are with has a good attitude about it and will just go along with it all. Social norms can be a good and bad thing. They are good, because the keep everything in line and makes sure that humans are acting accordingly in their daily activities. But they also can be bad because it puts pressure on everyone's perception of what freedom is and what is acceptable or not. Social norms will always have a controlling impact on the behavior of individuals, occasionally developing them into a new form of person.
For my breaching experiment, I decided to break the social norm of looking at someone while engaged in conversation with them. Today, it is socially unacceptable and impolite to avoid looking at someone when talking to them. The background assumption for a typical conversation is that direct eye contact will be made more often than not; otherwise social norms are being violated. Avoiding eye contact during an exchange tends to dehumanize the person that is not receiving the eye contact. It is impolite and offensive, not looking at someone who is talking makes it seem as though the topic being discussed is unimportant. For my research experiment I would constantly talk to someone without initiating eye contact, or with my back facing toward the subject, not turning around or making eye contact until I had to ring up their order or make the drink for them. This research is important because it uncovers what happens when the social norm of
“You don’t know me.” My voice sounded as unsteady as his stance. He shrugged as he chuckled; the laughter turned my blood cold. He seemed to know something I did not.
I approached the woman and told her my name. She was still clearly flustered and angry, her brown eyes flashing amid an expanse of curly hair. "They just don't get it!" she grumbled angrily. I silently looked down. Suddenly, she turned to me. "Sometimes, we've got to sit down and stand up for the dignity of human kind. Sometimes, we've got to do what's right." Silently, I nodded my head.
In the Grenadian culture, everyone is greeted the same way however, in the Nigerian culture their greetings are very symbolic. Because in the Nigerian culture, one’s age and social status demands respect. Whenever you meet an elderly man or woman, you must greet them in a particular way; you extend your hands to them and bow your heads. Also, you must take time to ask about their health and well-being. Because, rushing a greeting is considered as being rude. Unlike the Grenadian culture, there is no set way in which we should greet anyone, furthermore, greeting people is a matter of choice. One can choose to greet or not to greet anyone, either way it can be considered as being
As a child growing up, I was taught to be well mannered at home and everywhere I go. I was taught to say please and thank you, yes ma’am, and to hold the door open for individuals. In todays society, more and more people are forgetting their manners and are becoming offensively impolite. Whenever I go to a store to shop or even just to go out in public to burn some time, I never forget to take my manners with me. As I'm out and about, I've noticed the rudeness of individuals and some take
hello. I smile back at her and ask what she's been up to. But I don't even
Greeting everyone in New York will not make you popular or socially accepted – it will make you a freak. Besides - it isn’t possible to greet everyone you meet, because New York is full of people, every single minute of the day.
Now I can finally analyze it while I am looking at it in retrospect. There are many difference in folkway between the German and the American culture. Holding constant eye contact is just one of the many ones I now recognize. For instance, one hand in your lap while the other hand is used to eat, versus using both hands utilizing fork and knife simultaneously. The custom that the person entering a room is the one who greets (good morning) first. I can now also see why some former superiors of mine thought of me as deviant and responded according to his perception. Yet neither said superiors nor myself knew better and therefor no one is at fault.
Social greeting /business /dining etiquette-At a business or social meeting, shake hands with everyone present when arriving and leaving. A handshake may be quick with a light grip. Men may initiate handshakes with women it is not considered rude. When family and close friends greet one ...
Do manners matter? Yes, they do; however, since most parents have gone to work, children have fewer chances to sit with their parents and to learn manners from them. Although America is a melting-pot of cultures with various ideas of manners (Packer 22), and the subject of manners is complicated (Hall 185), the standard of good manners of various cultures is similar. Good manners are the same as civilized behaviors and moral etiquette that have respect, consideration, generosity, and thoughtfulness for others (Stewart 14). What goes around comes around; therefore, people should treat others as they wish to be treated themselves (Stewart 1). In fact, people would love to be with others who have good manners (Brandenberg 2). Therefore, manners should be taught in the twenty-first century because they not only help people become educated and competitive, but they also help the world become peaceful and smooth.