We are Shown How to Handle People in the Book, How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

We are Shown How to Handle People in the Book, How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

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In, How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie describes the fundamental techniques of how to handle people, six ways to make people like you, how to win people to your way of thinking, and how to change people without giving offense or arousing resentment.
In the first part of this book, Carnegie describes one of the most useful strategies, “Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.” “Don’t criticize them; they are just what we would have be under similar circumstances,” as President Abraham Lincoln said to Ms. Lincoln and others when they spoke horrors of the southern citizens after General Meade refused to attack in the Battle of Gettysburg. Even when Lincoln was enraged because General Meade denied to attack, he reserved his comments. Instead he wrote a letter addressed to the general but, never mailed it. Like F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote in the novel, The Great Gatsby, “Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone… just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you've had.” It is important not to complain because what one person has, another may desire. There are people that complain because they did not get the latest trending phone, while a young kid in Mexico is thrilled for finding a can that he can imagine is a soccer ball. Good or bad, people should be pleased with what they have and make the best of it
The greatest gift that a person could ever receive is a smile. “Everybody in the world is seeking happiness… Happiness doesn’t depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions.” Some say that a smile is a window to your soul, and the reality is a smile can change your mood even if you fake one. Like the psychologist and philosopher William James says, “Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together.” Even when there are struggles a smile can change your mood and reduce the pain. Like Carnegie implies, “You must have a good time meeting people if you expect them to have a good time meeting you.” This is very important because you can not expect people to happy around you when you sit with a frown in your face. A smile is a wonderful gift because it cost nothing and brightens anybodies day.
Another impressive strategy that Dale Carnegie explains is, “Be a good listener, encourage others to talk about themselves.

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” A very easy way to make a friend or influence someone by listening. People love to talk and like the women who had come from a recent trip from Africa, just need a patient and interested listener. People enjoy to talk because it “expands their ego.” You can learn a lot about someone from just listening to them, like Carnegie declares, “People who talk only of themselves think only about themselves.” Another way to influence others is to, “Talk in terms of the other person’s interest.” This two actions combine will cause a very effect in the other person making you see as a very interesting person with who they would like to spend more time with.
In part three of the book, How to Win Friends & Influence People, Dale Carnegie outlines the easiest ways to win people to your way of thinking. Some of the most important steps to fulfill this goal are”Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view, be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires, dramatize your ideas, and begin in a friendly way.” Carnegie says, “Remember that other people may be totally wrong. But they don’t think so...Try to understand them.” Trying to see yourself in the other persons shoe is the biggest way to know exactly what the other person wants, this goes along with being sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires. When Dale Carnegie called the lady from, Concord, Massachusetts and “had apologized and sympathized with her viewpoint,” the lady immediately apologized too. Carnegie did not only sympathized with the lady but also began in a friendly way. Dramatizing your ideas, makes your point of view more interesting. The same way ads make things more attractive than they really are by dramatizing your ideas you are advertising for your cause.

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