Every time I think back to my mom when I was a child I think of all the times she made me feel loved and warm, how she made me believe she was the one person who was never going to hurt me. In reality she was the one person who has hurt me the most. I remember all the times when I wished I had a mom just to ask the important questions, to get advice from and just to have that mother-daughter connection I’d always dreamed of. After a while I began to make excuses for her, talking myself out of forever hating her for all the pain I’ve endured from her reckless decisions.
When I was eleven I was standing on my grandmothers’ deck in Washington as I spotted a SUV entering her driveway. The vehicle came to a stop, one of the doors opened and out stepped my mom, only seven years later. Not one time did she try to contact my brother and I, for all we knew she could’ve been dead. Yet here she is standing right before my eyes, smiling as if none of the past had happened. I felt so angry at her, like I just wanted to start screaming just to express all the severe pain I’ve been dealing with for almost a decade. I made my decision to finally express all this hatred to the main source, but before I even had the chance, I see my brother run to the mother he hasn’t seen since he was exactly a year old. Seeing th...
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...ouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for her. If it wasn’t for my brother I don’t know how my life would’ve turned out for me I was forced to be strong. Everything I did was to show him not to be discouraged and to always strive for your dreams. I was his role model and not then or now will I ever show him me giving up, because I never want him to give up on anything. I want him to be whoever or whatever he wants to be, because that’s the joy of living in this world, you can! You can be just about anything your mind can imagine, but you aren’t going to get anywhere pitying yourself. If I was to see her today I’d thank her, for forcing me to become so strong. I don’t think any of the obstacles in my life would have been overcome if it wasn’t for the fact that I’m never going to stop, I’m always going to push. Nothing can tear me down; it didn’t then why the hell would it now?
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