The Story of a Surrogate

When I was a teenager, I had a cousin who couldn’t have children. Her body didn’t allow her to get pregnant, for a reason that is still unknown to me. A few months later, another cousin told me she couldn’t have children either. She had what is referred to as an “incompetent cervix.” I didn’t know what that meant back then but I do now. Little did I know, infertility is a growing epidemic around the world.

When I started having children of my own, I kept thinking about my cousins who couldn’t have children and wondering how I could help them or others like them. Was there anything I could do? How would I go about helping someone in their situation? What would people think about me? Yes, believe it or not, I cared how others would view me for this decision. However, I knew I was that special type of person who could give unconditionally to someone else without a second thought.

After giving birth to my third child, I found my answer: I was going to be an egg donor. I found an agency, filled out all the forms, and I waited. For months, I waited and received no response to my profile at the agency. So, I called for an update just to be told my profile had been viewed many times but not selected.

A friend of mine, who was a former surrogate, approached me about being a surrogate. I did some research to clarify what being a surrogate entailed and if I would be biologically connected to the child or would there be surgery included. After several weeks of research, I came to the conclusion this was my perfect opportunity to help someone achieve the family they always dreamed of. So I contacted the agency to start a profile as a potential surrogate.

It was only a few days later that I got my first call. A couple wanted to meet me to ...

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... was “see you again soon.”

I continue have contact with them and have watched the twins grow up in pictures. Although I wish the twins hadn’t been born so early, I wouldn’t change the experience for anything in the world. It’s been five years now and it’s truly amazing to see how big they have gotten and to know the twins have no developmental delays due to their prematurity.

I was a surrogate one additional time after the twins; couple who found me through a private website. I am closer to the second couple than the first. It’s unclear if it’s because we are closer in age, our friendship is stronger, or the fact that the precious little girl I gave birth to is named after me. All I know is I love all three of my surrogate children, as if they were mine. A woman who has been a surrogate and says she doesn’t get emotionally attached did it for the wrong reasons.