Most families want that ideal household, but no family is that perfect. Sometimes it is best for parents to get a divorce because they do not want a negative vibe in the household. Some children can completely understand while others cannot. That alone can add more stress on a parent. When dealing with divorce, it is important to just give love and support to one another.
The Huffington Post blog by Brette Sember states, It’s not always perfect but two homes without fighting is almost always better than one filled with arguments and marital tension” (Sember). When parents do not get along it tends to negatively impact the child emotionally. When the child sees the parent at a separate house the tension is gone and the child is free to be happy and play like a child should be doing. Second, children learn that cooperation is an important focus that matters. Sembers states “Parents who choose to mediate their divorce show their children that working together to find a solution is preferable to fighting against each other” (Sember).
Parents who abuse their kids were abused and had a poor upbringing. Nowadays with technology and researches found, they could help change and also teach their kids to avoid the same mistakes when they grow up. As the child grows, parents can set limits instead of violence. Fact is that when kids behave out of the normal, it is not to make parents angry but because they are in need of attention. We all know that parents’ the first reaction is to lose it, so instead of punching, parents can try time outs until the child comprehends why he or she is being punished.
When this divorce prevails and all the court dates are done, are the parents doing everything that they can to help their child cope, or are they making this harder on the children than it has to be? Many children disagree with their parents on the effects that the divorce had on them. A large portion of parents feel that if they are stern yet gentle about telling their children of their decision that it will not affect the children as much and that the children will be more accepting, however, the children think no matter how the situation is presented, the effects are the same. Some of the troubles that the children may encounter will be left unspoken, for the children feel that they won't be heard or for fear of punishment for showing how they truly feel. This may lead to secrets from parents, rebellion, and emotional distress.
That can effect children mentally and emotionally because children try to find answers to why their parent is not dedicating as much time. When single parents are involved in new relationships they can become more focused on their new partner and put their children aside. Sometimes step-parents can be abusive towards children and even with their partner. They can be manipulative and make their partner and step-children feel that they are not good enough. That is when abuse becomes part of their life and the parent and children tend to believe whatever they are told.
The Effect of Divorce on Children Works Cited Missing Divorce is always a traumatic experience in a person's life, especially a child's. When parents divorce, children are not always considered during the settlement. This omission can lead to problems with the child's perception of daily life. The impact divorce has on a family is more prominent to the children of the family than the parents. As a child, there are many situations that affect a view, memory, opinion, or attitude.
There are many issues and concerns that divorced parents must think about when children are involved. Divorce affects children in many ways such as emotionally, physically, academically, and socially. Although there may be some advantages to divorce, for example divorce is good if the child is being hurt or abused, by one of the parents. The reality is that divorce is bad for many children because it can make the children depressed, and because they have to choose which parent to stay with. Parents should stay in marriage instead of divorce for the sake of the children.
Erikson's theory of personality development can help calculate which and how stages are affected when parents get divorce. Stages 3, 4, 5 and 6 seem to be the most affected by the divorce because the main conflicts the child is confronting at the time are necessary to go through them calmly for a healthy development. Stage 3 of Erickson's theory of personality development lasts from 3 to 6 years of age and it is the stage in which the child becomes aware of their independence and that they do not always have to do what their parents say. It is called Initiative versus guilt because they take the initiative to do as they please and at the same time feel guilty that they do not obey the rules given to them. The conflicting question during this age is "am I good or am I bad?".
The divorce can cause problems in the child’s future relationships. Studies show that female teenagers that experience divorce has lowered their self-esteem, are promiscuous, and have behavior problems. Girls are also more emotional when the dad leaves because they think it is a total rejection of them. This is because girls need a man that cares and protects her. Some negative effects that divorce can have on children are anger, depression, anxiety, disobedience towards parents or authority people, and decreased academic performances.
Divorce can cause stress and anxiety on a child of any age. Depending on the age, children of divorce suffer psychological effects that are far reaching, even into adulthood and their own marriages. Young children in preschool age, do not really understand why their parents are divorced, and they have the need to get their parents back together. They may also tend to regress back to an earlier stage in their life by acting babylike in order to command more attention from both parents. Slightly older children, from about ages 6-8 years old, feel the same basic emotions, but they also tend to go through a grieving period, as well.