When this divorce prevails and all the court dates are done, are the parents doing everything that they can to help their child cope, or are they making this harder on the children than it has to be? Many children disagree with their parents on the effects that the divorce had on them. A large portion of parents feel that if they are stern yet gentle about telling their children of their decision that it will not affect the children as much and that the children will be more accepting, however, the children think no matter how the situation is presented, the effects are the same. Some of the troubles that the children may encounter will be left unspoken, for the children feel that they won't be heard or for fear of punishment for showing how they truly feel. This may lead to secrets from parents, rebellion, and emotional distress.
Marriage, a monogamous relationship where a man and women unite and are to hold on to their vows for rest of their lives, but when the marriage does not work people tend to do the most simple thing, divorce. There are a lot of reasons why couples decide to divorce and get the easy way out, yet they forget that their kids are to suffer the most from their decisions. The most common reason why couples divorce is lack of communication, which includes: lack of commitment and infidelity, lack of compromise leading to arguments, and unrealistic expectations from marriage at young age. Marriage is based off of trust and commitment but because of lack of communication couples tend to drift apart which results in lack of commitment and infidelity. Divorces that happen on the bases of lack of commitment are 73% while divorces that happen on the bases of infidelity are 55%.
Is it fair for children to suffer due to our parents disagreements? Divorces are destructive towards the children, and more parents should attempt to exhaust options before choosing this avenue. Divorced parents think their own happiness is more important than their child/children (Divorce Parents Decry Own Selfishness 6). To conceive a child takes two. Therefore, both parents should remain together despite the intense altercations.
Dealing with conflicts between parents during divorce causes children to lose their sense of security. Children feel secure when they are with both of their parents. If this feeling of security is diminished, children will have a slight possibility of developing psychological disorders. Children with divorced parents tend to be alone or have fewer friends because of the separation of their parents. Divorce and separation are emotional processes in which the child is affected just as much as are the parents.
Divorce will affect a child varies from their age. If the children's parents get divorced when they are nine or younger, then the children will tend to blame themselves for the divorce and think that their parents will eventually get back together. The children having hope for their parents getting back together is not good, because it is very unlikely that they do get back together. If they are between the ages of nine and thirteen, then the children will start to become more dependent and have a feeling of betrayal from their parents for getting divorced. When divorce will affect a child the most is when they are in a serious relationship, they will start to think that it will fail or they will eventually separate.
The loss of family structure and personal blame for the separation of their parents can affect the future of a child, the way they view themselves, the way they view the opposite sex, and the type person they choose for their husband or wife. Dealing with Divorce Divorce is not something that is easy to deal with. We understand that adults have a right to be happy and to make their own choices. The question is at what cost? If the world is made of only adults, it is doubtful that the rates of divorce and remarriage would draw much attention.
They also, develop resentment towards one of the parents and in some cases they resent them both because they do not know who to blame. The children are hurt and confused, they feel torn between both parents and they are overwhelmed with the thoughts of who will care for them. Having divorced parents can have a positive effect if the parents agree to make the children their top priority even though they are separating. The children must be reassured that they are loved by both parents and that nothing is going to change as for as their activities except for the fact that they will have two homes instead of one. The trauma for children who face divorce is magnified because they do not know how to handle the unexpected.
The argument over how divorce affects children is one that has been going on for a very long time. Some people believe when parents get a divorce the children are not affected at all, while others believe when parents get a divorce the children are affected by the impact of divorce more than anyone in the family. In some cases, married couples can be in such a terrible marriage that divorce can in no way be avoided, and these divorces are usually the ones that children benefit from and are affected in a positive way. Many times though, a couple will choose to get a divorce because their marriage is not exactly the way it used to be, and they want that aspect of life back; these are the divorces that negatively affect children. Even though in some cases divorce does not affect children negatively, many times when parents obtain a divorce, the children are negatively harmed in many different ways that will forever change their lives.
Although divorce can be solution to cope with problem between the husband and wife, it still has dangerous effects especially on children. Children with divorced parents are vulnerable to risk. Divorce affects their entire lives. Divorce of parents lead children to have problems in their lives particularly in education, resources, behaviors, emotion, and health. A divorce of parents can lead children to have loss of knowledge, skills, and resources from parents.
Emotions has a big part in the life of the child or divorce parent. Children seems to be insecure and afraid of what the future will bring to them . Children of divorce parent question their future due to what they had been experience. They also may think that they don’t have a real family. The children of divorce parent may afraid to build their own family because of what happen to his/her parents.He/she will ask his/her self is he/she will be a good mother or a father, he/she is not going to have divorce with his/her partner like what happen to her parents.The positive effect of divorce in both parent is they will become happy, they don’t need to hide if there’s a third party and they will free to do whatever they want to do.