This is why they keep asking their parents to come back together. Their parents will often keep rejecting their request of coming back together, which also causes negative feelings to appear again during divorce. This is not only because their parents reject the child’s request, but also because children compare themselves with other children whose parents are not separated. Furthermore, some children tend to blame themselves for the divorce of their parents because it is emotionally easier for children to blame themselves than to put the blame on someone else. If the child blames himself or herself, he or she would think that they are the reason for the damage that happened in the relationship between their parents.
Research has been done and the effects of divorce differ depending on the current age and stage of life of the children. (Oesterreich) Regardless of the age, many children feels as if somehow the divorce was their fault. Also hoping to save the marriage, some kids strive to improve their behavior. Another commonality of children dealing with divorce is that of rebellion. One might lose respect for either one or both of their parents, acquire a hatred or disliking towards them or, act out to get attention, having not had any, due to the significance of the divorce.
Even though in some cases divorce does not affect children negatively, many times when parents obtain a divorce, the children are negatively harmed in many different ways that will forever change their lives. Research has proven there is a link between childhood depression and parents who are divorced. When children’s parents decide to get a divorce, it increases the risk of the children going through a deep depression period. There are several different reasons that have been linked to why children become depressed after their parents get a divorce. Parents and children usually become very distant after a divorce because they are both trying to overcome a hard time in their lives, so they keep to themselves instead of talking to each other.
A broken family refers to a family that has gone through a separation, abandonment or divorce leaving the children with only one parent instead of the much needed two. In the beginning of a divorce parents tend to argue non-stop and just have a sense of despair around the household. Children around that type of atmosphere can get confused and blame themselves for such arguments and the overall unhappiness. When dealing with divorce the effects on the children vary depending on their age, time of separation and personality and family relationship (Anderson "The Effect of a Broken Family on Development"). For example infants and young children may experience some negative development effects, older children and teenagers tend to suffer more and have a more lasting effect on their social, emotional, and educational day to day life (Anderson "The Effect of a Broken Family on Development").
The problems faced within a couple not only affects the two involved in the fight, but also their children’s lives in a negatively manner. Marriage is not viewed as highly in today’s society as years before due to the amount of marriages not lasting and ending in a divorce. Divorce is common today because of couple’s uneasiness to try and work things out by going to couples therapy together or listening to each other. Children are affected emotionally by their parent’s decision of divorce in their relationships with their friends, family and teachers. Parents try to do as much as possible to avoid their children asking about divorce.
Identity confusion, depression and anxiety are all harmful effects divorce has on children. Feelings of responsibility, sadness, and apprehension about their situations have extremely detrimental and lasting affects on children. These studies show that these are indeed grim realities many children have to face in their daily lives. Parents may be affected by a divorce, but the children are the real victims. References Barker, Philip.
It is an even more unfortunate situation when there are children involved. The psychological effects from the dissolution of a marriage are harder on children because they usually feel it is their fault that mommy and daddy are not together anymore. However, there are some instances where divorce is less stressful on the children, even the whole family unit, than the actual marriage itself. Lets explore both scenarios. Divorce can cause stress and anxiety on a child of any age.
The Effects of Divorce on the Children I decided to write on the effects of divorce on children because it touches home with not only me but for many children in the world today. Divorce can have a positive effect or it can have a negative effect on your children.In most case when the parents decide that there is no reconciliation but to separate they do not take into consideration the effect that it may have on the children. There is a sense of uncertainty and fear for the unknown circumstances and the children fear the outcome. They tend to blame themselves for the separation and the arguments of their parents. They also, develop resentment towards one of the parents and in some cases they resent them both because they do not know who to blame.
Some kids do not want their parents to get divorce because they would feel like they are being left by the parent that is leaving the home. Kids will have mixed feelings about the divorce, especially if they know the parents were not very happy. It is very important to tell children that the divorce is not their fault. When the couple gets a divorce, the mother usually gets the children unless she is unfit to keep the children. The children are sometimes very stressed from the divorce.
By witnessing the rougher side of divorce, the child may become antisocial and impulsive; they can also have trouble adjusting socially and psychologically (Gruber). They are more likely to suffer from depression, dependency, low self-esteem, and anxiety (Gruber). Children usually show the beginning signs of these adjustment issues at school. Mental turmoil imposes a heavy burden that deprives children of the proper state of mind vital for learning (Kalpakgian). Naturally bonded to their parents and attached to their stable home, children possess a keen sense of natural order (Kalpakgian).