Children of divorce have a different experience during the holidays, birthdays, and other family events. The process of parental separation alone can pay a toll on a child’s psychological health. Family events may make things awkward around the parents, but that doesn’t even compare to the things children of divorce will have to deal with, even into their adult lives. Constance Matthienssen, author and mother of three, shares in her article “Harry Potter and Divorce Among the Muggles” how her divorce affected her children (“Harry Potter”). Many parents don’t think about a divorce will affect their young children as they grow older, but divorce affects children even into their adult lives. Children of divorce grow to develop negative relationships with their parents, they tend to have poor self-esteem, and they may even find themselves unable to maintain an intimate relationship in their adulthood. Divorce affects every child differently, but it can cause many social issues into their adult lives. Not having both parents in …show more content…
Many people have problems with accepting and loving themselves the way they are, especially children of divorce. To have the feeling of not being good enough can make accomplishing everyday tasks just that much harder. Dr. Amy J. L. Baker, researcher and coach in parental alienation, studied the different divorce related impacts on an adolescents’ adult life. Dr. Baker states that, “Because the participants [children of divorce] felt that the “bad” parent was part of them (genetically as well as through an early relationship) they felt that they must also be bad.” (293). Dr. Baker proved that children of divorce may start to believe that they are “bad” just by being biologically connected to the bad parent. That way of thinking can cause even the most cheerful and brilliant children, to grow up into a depressed and mentally frustrated
While everyone knows divorce is tough on kids, researcher and writer, Elizabeth Marquardt, says even when the split is amicable, kids still suffer. For her controversial new book, “Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce,” Marquardt spent three years interviewing 1,500 young adults-half from divorced families-who described the painful emotional, moral, and spiritual dilemmas they faced. Marquardt talks with NEWSWEEK’s Peg Tyre about the pain children of divorce may be harboring and what parents can do about it.
Divorce has become an unquestionable remedy for the miserably married. Currently, the United States has the highest divorce rate in the world. Every year in the US approximately one million children experience divorce which, is about one in every three children (Amato 21). The effects of divorce can be tremendously painful for both children and adults. Children of divorce are more likely to suffer from behavioral, social, academic, and psychological problems than children raised in two-parent families.
Moon, Michelle. 2011. “The Effects of Divorce on Children: Married and Divorced Parents’ Perspectives.” Journal of Divorce & Remarriage 52:344-349.
“It is also estimated that between 40 percent and 50 percent of children born in the 1980s will experience the divorce of their parents before reaching age 18 (The influence of divorce on children).” These children of divorce have to go through the financial struggles of living pay check to pay check and live through this stress. All this stress leads to less focus on school and they begin to see lower academic achievement. This transition also effects them emotional and can even stick with them the rest of their life, ultimately impacting their own marriage in the future. With little attention left for them they turn to other activities for attention, including drugs and alcohol. Although some children come out of divorce a stronger individual, some go down the wrong path and see the negative side effects of
An absence of a parent or a parent’s separation, divorce, when a child is developing, may affect the child’s future relationships. “Evidence shows that, on average, children who have experienced parental divorce score somewhat lower than children in first-marriage families on measures of social development, emotional well-being, self-concept, academic performance, educational attainment, and physical health” (Demo, Supple)
Harvey, J. H., & Fine, M. A. (2004). Children of divorce stories of loss and growth.
Have you ever heard the statistic passed around ‘50% of all marriages end in divorce’? Of course you have, by the time most everyone hits high school they have probably heard it so many times they are tired of it. But one thing that is hardly ever talked about is; what effect, psychologically, does this have on the child from that family? The stress on a child created by a divorce is not permanent, but can cause lasting effects into adulthood. Because almost everyone has heard ‘50% of all marriages end in divorce’; the thought of what does the child go through should be just as common. There is almost no getting around the fact that the child will suffer because of the divorce at some point. What does the child go through? How do they cope with it? How does this affect their grades? Are they more likely to get a divorce too if they get married? This is just some of what a child of divorce is likely to face, that is why this is something that deserves serious thought.
Divorce is becoming a worldwide phenomenon, significantly affecting children’s well-being. It radically changes their future causing detrimental effects. According to (Julio Cáceres-Delpiano and Eugenio Giolito, 2008) nearly 50% of marriages end with divorce. 90% of children who lived in the USA in the 1960s stayed with their own biological parents, whereas today it makes up only 40% (Hetherington, E. Mavis, and Margaret Stanley-Hagan, 1999). Such an unfavorable problem has been increasing, because in 1969, the legislation of California State changed the divorce laws, where spouses could leave without providing causes (Child Study Center, 2001). This resolution was accepted by the other states and later, the number of divorced people has been steadily growing. Such a typical situation is common for most countries in the world, which negatively affects children’s individuality. However, remarkably little amount of people can conceive the impact of marital separation caused to offspring. (? passive) Many children after separation of parents are exposed to a number of changes in the future. They have to be getting used to a further living area, feelings and circumstances. Their response to divorce can vary and depends on age, gender and personal characteristics. This essay will show the effects of divorce on children under various aspects such as educational, psychological and social impact. In addition, it will contain data about the divorce rate in the US and present disparate reactions of children. It will also include adequate recommendations for parents as to how act to children after divorce, in order to minimize the adverse effect on children.
Divorce is a process that many people in America go through. The divorce rate continues to escalate over the years. Divorce is a serious problem, it is a gradual process that ultimately results in families breaking up. There are various factors in which a marriage can fail and end up in divorce. Some skip the step of trying to reconcile things and make it work. In some cases it is easy for a divorce to take place. For instance, in cases where both parties are in agreement and have no children it is easier to handle a divorce. But in the cases where children are present, what happens to the kids? Both parents are at each others throats or one is devastated from the rejection, what role does the child play? It is a hard thing to cope with as an adult imagine as a little one or even a teenager, it affects them in more ways than anyone can imagine. It can affect them both physically and emotionally. The effects of divorce are immense, it permanently weakens the bond or relationship between a child and his parents. Can lead to them reaching out or looking to others for attention, causing poor attitudes, low self esteem, dropping grades, loss of virginity, use of drugs and or weapons, or in some cases mutilation of the body. There are various effects that children have to deal with that maybe extremely hard to cope with. One parent may say one thing yet the other disagrees and makes it impossible for the child to have a stable relationship with both of them. Children need both biological parents at their side to be guardians and counselors in their lives, to be examples of what they need to do to become outstanding citizens in our community.
The first study to be considered is a qualitative study which spanned a 25 year period and looked at 131 children from divorced families of the 1970’s. It was specifically concerned with growth and development (psychologically and socially) of these children post divorce and had extensive follow-up interviews with both parents and children at 18 months, 5, 10 and 25 year marks. At the 25 year follow-up a comparison group of adult children from intact families who had otherwise similar backgrounds were also interviewed. Some of these “intact” families were ideal while others were filled with conflict, most were somewhere in the middle. This study found a casual relationship between divorce itself and the well-being of the children which was significant all the way into adulthood. The study found that parental conflicts from before the divorce were not dominant in the children’s memories but unhappiness was related mostly to the separation itself (most children in this study had no expectations of the breakup prior to it occurring). The exception to this is when violent events occurred as with 25% of c...
Children of divorced parents often enough feel as though the divorce is their fault and become depressed and distant while suffering from low self-esteem since they think that they are the reason their parents split. Many children of divorced parents typically grow up with behavior problems and poor self-images as though they cannot be loved or are not worthy of being loved since their parents divorced, there is the feeling of not being loved at all. The children also suffer because they are now separated from one parent and no longer have both parents in the home. This devastation causes psychiatric trauma to the child’s state of mind.
Divorce is a very common word in today's society. According to the American Heritage Dictionary, "divorce is the legal dissolution of a marriage or a complete or radical severance of closely connected things"(Pickett, 2000). This dissolution of marriage has increased very rapidly in the past fifty years. In 1950 the ratio of divorce to marriage was one in every four; in 1977 that statistic became one in two. Currently one in every two first marriages results in divorce. In second marriages that figure is considerably higher, with a 67% average (National Vital Statistics Report, 2001). One critical aspect of divorce is often not taken into consideration: How it affects children. Every year 1.1 million children are affected by divorce (Benjamin, 2000). Children from divorce or separation often exhibit behavioral and long-term adjustment problems (Kelly, 2000). Throughout this paper I will discuss divorces effects on children at different age levels, how they react, and what can be done to help them.
Graham Blaine Jr. who is the Chief of Psychiatry at Harvard University health services writes a chapter in the book Explaining Divorce to Children. This chapter is entitled “The Effect of Divorce upon the Personality Development of Children and Youth.” He addresses this chapter to parents who are considering getting a divorce or are in the middle of the divorce process. The author uses a combination of Ethos and Pathos to support his theory on divorce. Blaine uses these strategies to highlight the mixed emotions a child may endure while going through such a confusing stage of their early lives. This then gives the audience a better understanding of the certain personalities children may gain while coping with sad situation of split parents. He also draws on his experience as a psychiatrist to give statistics as well as true stories to back up his reasoning.
Divorce isn’t always as bad as people portray it. Commonly realized, divorce isn’t a great thing to happen to a family. But being in a bad relationship can have more negative effects on a child than divorce. In a study conducted of 98 couples, that later divorced, 80% of their children felt that their parents split was a good decision. Of the 20% that felt it wasn’t a good decision, most came from more abusive families. Being together in a bad relationship can actually cause more harm than good. Parents commonly think that by staying together for the kid’s sake will it eliminate negative effects and help their kids thrive. Nevertheless they see their parents unhappiness creating a more tense environment. Provided that the parents are abusive or are more vocal about their opinions then it can actually create a traumatic environment around the child, making them feel unsafe or timid constantly. What the minority of people know is that divorce can actually give kids positive vibes. Divorce can teach kids to focus on the positives and keep moving forward in life. In a Harper Collins book it says (We’re still family: What grown Children have to say about their parents divorce) that “ kids more commonly emerge wiser in spite of- or perhaps because of- their complex histories.” Multiple studies have proven, kids who have experienced divorce emerge mo...
In the world we live in today, divorce has unfortunately become a normal thing in our lives. Many married couples are getting divorced for many reasons; problems in the marriage, either a spouse having an affair, a loss of feelings, and many other types of complications. Many divorces involve children who are young and due to their age do not understand what is really going on. We all know someone who has dealt with divorce. Children are the ones who are typically affected the most by the divorce and they will have to learn to cope with their parent’s divorce at such a young age, affecting them in positive or negative ways.