Marriage is a very joyful event in a person’s life. However, unless much can be done in order to redefine the status of what marriage is all about, divorce and other marital problems will continue to arise tremendously. Divorce is tumultuous event in a married couple’s life. It does not only affect the financial status of the household, but rather it also affects the people that comprises the family especially the children. Families are experiencing many problems today, but the role of divorce in this picture has been frequently overlooked because its destructive effects have been subtle, yet insidious. When the divorce rate increased in the 1960s, few would have predicted its dire consequences three decades later. Yet divorce has changed both the structure and the impact of the family. Intimacy, time, effort trust and love is the key to have a peaceful and healthy relationship. Marriage for life is God's ideal, but divorce is a reality in our society.
In her essay “I Wish They’d Do It Right”, Jane Doe highlights her ideology that marriage is honorable and legitimate, yet cohabitation is unacceptable and “socially awkward” (222). Doe illustrates her disagreement with her son’s decision of living in cohabitation, and tries to persuade him into marriage based on what the whole family will say or on society’s judgment. Doe argues that a marriage will create economical benefits between her son and his “girlfriend”, and provide a sense of stability for her soon-to-be grandson. However, it is noticeable that Doe’s views on marriage are based on her family and societies negative judgment on cohabitation, and the social acceptance of a traditional marriage. Based on my parents’ divorce, I disagree with Doe’s argument that marriage is always beneficial, real, and can guarantee a “happily ever after” (223); however, cohabitation can be as sincere, genuine, and exclusive as a marriage. I believe marriage should be based on the couple’s feelings and their readiness on taking the next step, instead of it being based on family and society’s opinion.
According to the author of “The Changing American Family”, the divorce rate “began falling in 1996 and is now just above 40 percent for first-time marriages” (Angier). Author of a The Atlantic’s article on marriage, Gillian White, agrees with both Kimmel and Angier. White uses the results of a recent Allstate/National Journal Heartland Monitor poll, where seventy-four percent of the participants “felt that marriage was still relevant and led to a happier, healthier, more fulfilled life” (White). This means that marriage is still a valuable institution even if its traditions have changed in the past few decades. The poll’s results show that more than the sixty percent of the participants agreed that “the ages of 25 to 30 were optimal for tying the knot” (White). One of the reasons to delay marriage is the economic situation of the country and the uncertainty of financial security once married. The rising cost of living makes it difficult for one person to live on their own, picture it with someone else. Nonetheless, Americans are still eager “to have stable, long-lasting relationships and families”
Throughout the years, societies view on marriage and cohabitation has been changing, especially from the 1950s up until now. Marriage and cohabitation are in relation to social location, education, immigration and social class. In addition, these changes are influenced through socialization and their surrounding environments as people’s beliefs and expectations vary from what a defined family really is. Same-sex couples are now getting married and the divorce rate is on the rise, including non-married couples raising children. Most importantly, each individual determines who they marry or whom they share their love with through conditioning or in the course of shared similarities. People have dissimilar values, beliefs and attitudes and throughout the life course may change again, including the future generations. This paper reviews why marriage is on the decline and cohabitation is now the accepted social norm, including other aspects such as specific rights that couples have over others in the past. Religion is a powerful tool that alters minds of those who are affiliated with it. As a result, their beliefs are conditioned and marriage is valued differently than those who are not married. All in all this paper will further explain the change, continuity and
He avoids telling them for as long as he can, even if it keeps him from seeing Ruth “But such a trip would require telling his parents about Ruth, something he has no desire to do” (Lahiri 115). To him, his parents represent Bengali culture, something he is not sure he wants to be a part of. He tries to live entirely without their opinion, driving them out of his personal life almost entirely. Although he is trying to separate himself from Bengali culture, he still remains only a few hours away from home, still visits every other weekend. At the end of the day, Gogol is still connected to his home and culture in a way Ruth is not. Ruth seeks adventure in Europe choosing to study abroad in Oxford, London. “Instead of coming back from Oxford after those twelve weeks, she’d stayed on to do a summer course” (Lahiri 119). In fact Ruth wants to go back to England for graduate school, something Gogol has no real interest in doing. His connection, even if subconscious ends up being the driving force in Ruth and Gogol’s break up. He fails to learn from his mistakes with Ruth, however, and the next girl he dates is even more different than
In this study, researchers wanted to know young adults’ views of marriage in the United States. In order to do so, they asked simple questions about marriage and commitment to 424 people ages 21 to 38 from various socioeconomic and ethnic backgrounds. The results showed that there are two major types of marital constructs, and two major arguments in the debate of marriage’s current state. The two categories of people who think of marriage are called the marriage naturalists and the marriage planners. Both groups of people have nearly opposite views on the idea of what is needed to be able to have a good, healthy marriage. The major arguments about the current state of marriage in the U.S are the marriage decline and the marriage resilience perspectives. These are also polarized, naturally.
“A recent Pew Research Center survey showed that 39 percent of respondents believe marriage is becoming obsolete. And as far as the issue of living together vs. marriage, 55 percent of respondents felt that it was a good thing or made no difference if a couple lived together without being married.” The older generations are surprised at how different the newest generation is. They are the ones fighting against the new generation. They do not want change and are not prepared for it. It is different than what they grew up with and it’s breaking what they have always known.
Bridget Burke Ravizza wrote the article, “Selling Ourselves on the Marriage Market” and is an assistant professor of religious studies at St. Norbert College, De Pere, WI. After talking with an unnamed group of college students, she discovers that “These college students have grown up in a society in which nearly half of all marriages end in divorce.” She also reveals “they are fearful that their future marriages will go down that path, and some question whether lifelong commitment can—or should—be made at all.” Furthermore, Ravizza finds that “students are bombarded with messages about sexuality and relationships—indeed messages about themselves—that seem to undermine authentic relationships.” Simply put, culture has accepted divorce as a “normal” thing and has already begun to affect the next generations. The surveyed students are so fearful of divorce, they are, in essence, afraid of marriage as well. They even go to the extreme of avoiding divorce by saying they may not get married at all to prevent the “undermining of an authentic relationship.”
Gogol, at a certain point, analyzes people in general appearing of friendship that Maxine's parents show to the absence of such open indications of feeling of his own parents. At first, he interprets this as meaning that his parents don't have an indistinguishable sort of adoration from Maxine's parents. He feels good around Maxine's parents than he does around his parents. After his father's death, Gogol sees things in an unexpected way. His parents’ love could keep running as profound as that of some other couple. The only different is that their culture does not approve of public display. Love is viewed as a private expression.
Is marriage really important? There is a lot of controversy over marriage and whether it is eminent. Some people believe it is and some people believe it is not. These opposing opinions cause this controversy. “On Not Saying ‘I do’” by Dorian Solot explains that marriage is not needed to sustain a relationship or a necessity to keep it healthy and happy. Solot believes that when a couple gets married things change. In “For Better, For Worse”, Stephanie Coontz expresses that marriage is not what is traditional in society because it has changed and is no longer considered as a dictator for people’s lives. The differences between these two essays are the author’s writing style and ideas.
Like most second generation children, assimilation was a much easier process for Gogal. He has always had difficulty understanding the bengali culture. As his father once told himhe was unique because of the meaning behind his name “Gogal”. At the end of the book, Gogal has a special moment and comes upon the book he was named after. A connection grows with his fathers as he realizes, “Nikhil will live on, publicly celebrated, unlike Gogal, purposely hidden, legally diminished, now all but lost,(290).” Gogal’s moment of realization makes him find his identity, self-discovery and re-connect to his father. His name is what makes him, Gogal. The novel ends with this as it demostrates finding himself and worth of his
His confusion stems from the fact that his name is neither Bengali or American but Russian. Named after Nikhil Gogol a Russian author, he will soon find himself taking the first name of the author. The name Nikhil gave him a temporary sense of identity in which is used to start an American relationship. The relationship with Ruth was a relationship based on their vast difference of being a “Yankee” American in contracts to him being a first-generation Bengali-American. However, he does identify as being a Bengali but a typical “suburban” American. The love he has with Ruth was a taste of what an American relationship would look like. Her parents are divorces and are hippies who accepts Nikhil for who he is. Compared to his own family who questions his love with her. The falling of the relationships is when Ruth left for Oxford and when she comes back Gogol tries to rekindle the fire between them but realizes that there was nothing to rekindle. Their love was just a fling, and a way to express his love for American
It is not a new thought that today’s young Americans are facing issues, problems and difficult decisions that past generations never had to question. In a world of technology, media, and a rough economy, many young adults in America are influenced by a tidal wave of opinions and life choices without much relevant advice from older generations. The Generation Y, or Millennial, group are coming of age in a confusing and mixed-message society. One of these messages that bombard young Americans is the choice of premarital cohabitation. Premarital cohabitation, or living together without being married (Jose, O’Leary & Moyer, 2010), has increased significantly in the past couple of decades and is now a “natural” life choice before taking the plunge into marriage. Kennedy and Bumpass (2008) state that, “The increase in cohabitation is well documented,such that nearly two thirds of newlyweds have cohabited prior to their ﬁrst marriage”(as cited in Harvey, 2011, p. 10), this is a striking contrast compared with statistics of our grandparents, or even parents, generations. It is such an increasing social behavior that people in society consider cohabitation “necessary” before entering into marriage. Even more, young Americans who choose not to cohabitate, for many different reasons, are looked upon as being “old-fashioned”, “naive”, or “unintelligent”. This pressure for young people to cohabitate before marriage is a serious “modern-day” challenge; especially when given research that states, “... most empirical studies ﬁnd that couples who cohabited prior to marriage experience signiﬁcantly higher odds of marital dissolution than their counterparts who did not cohabit before marriage”, stated by Jose (2010) and colleagues (as c...
Marriage in our generation is a commitment and a promise that two people make to be