How do we forgive when we don't feel like it? How do we translate the decision to forgive into a change of heart? We don't naturally overflow with mercy, grace and forgiveness when we've been wronged. Since forgiveness goes against our nature, we must forgive by faith, whether we feel like it or not. We must trust God to do the work in us that needs to be done so that the forgiveness will be complete. So go ahead and play god! Would it be easy to forgive if they apologise their act of hurting you! Does the apology have so much of power to ignite the feelings to forgive! We must manifest a life-condition of compassion to be able to forgive1 Offenses are common, and the offender usually wants to be forgiven. But the offended is usually reluctant …show more content…
Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. One of the thorniest and most difficult things we humans are ever called upon to do is to respond to evil with kindness, and to forgive the unforgivable. We love to read stories about people who have responded to hatred with love, but when that very thing is demanded of us personally, our response seems to be anger, dread or anguish, depression, righteousness, hatred, etc. Yet study after study shows that one of the keys to longevity and good health is to develop a habit of gratitude and let go of past hurts. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Yes you forgive. Do you have to forget the issue as well? Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life. Express the emotion. Let yourself feel hurt and angry. Verbalize the way you feel. Understand why. Was it a misunderstanding? Where was the fault, with you or with the other person? If the fault was with you, you will not get
Click here to unlock this and over one million essaysShow More
As Zack has done research on forgiveness as well, he states, “…studies show people unwilling to extend forgiveness to someone who has done them harm will often withdraw from social relationships and tend to experience deep loneliness,” (Carter, 2017). Along with that, for one to still have hurt and negative feelings, can add to stress, which has a huge impact on our bodies physically and emotionally. The stress of unforgiving feelings can take tolls on the body, leading to health problems that shouldn’t be around, and also can slow down the process to moving on with life. But when one can forgive, going through with the process, “…extending forgiveness was essential to personal healing,” (Carter, 2017). The process of forgiving, comes with the ability to walk away knowing, one’s self will heal in time. No more harboring negative
One negative effect of not showing forgiveness can lead to a decrease in one’s health by causing elevated stress levels, high blood pressure, depression, and psychological issues. It can also lead to mental congestion by blurring one’s thinking and focus because one’s mind can be preoccupied by the past events. Having a mind focused on the past can cause grudges, anger, and resentments, which greatly increases more problems in everyday life with others. Being unwilling to forgive can negatively affect people’s emotions in a drastic way. Negative emotions can tear families apart, friendships, and even lifelong relationships. Holding bitterness within can block positive emotions from others that are trying to help; it can overcome one’s entire life. It is no secret that an unforgiving spirit can poison one’s heart with bitterness. Without forgiveness and reconciliation there is no doubt that a fruitless relationship will persist until death. Not forgiving will cause nothing but pain and misery. It is evident that the negative effects of not having forgiveness will only lead to a life of bitterness and
These are emotions that help us to be social. They include compassion, joy, love, loneliness, and euphoria. Scientists have been acting narrowly thus focusing on negative pro-social emotions. Of late, this perspective has been broadened to have the scientists think upright and be constructive. There are emotions such as altruism, gratitude, and forgiveness increases the mental health and well being of people and those who surround them. One can understand the aspects that lead to pro-social emotions. Such emotions start from the group and later affect an individual. The pro-social emotions can help improve the well being of an individual plus their mental health. Mental health involves psychological well being. This means, there is no spiritual illness (Colins, Oliver, & Henrik, 198). Broadly, psychological health is the mental state of a person functioning at an emotional level that is satisfactory. An individual would enjoy life under holism, or the constructive mental health. Prosocial emotions, therefore, contribute to the good health of people's
It is one thing to let someone know that you messed up but complete healing comes from knowing that you are forgiven. Vice versa, instead of letting bitterness and anger towards others eat away at us, the best way to move on is to forgive. In some instances, our natural reaction is to exact revenge and that might provide temporary relief but it is a fact the forgiveness provides far greater healing and relief. The Sacrament of Reconciliation allows one to experience the fullness of forgiveness. This sacrament not only calls one to forgive others but to ask Christ for forgiveness, the most powerful forgiveness we can receive. It involves not only receiving the forgiveness but accepting it in our heart and allowing ourselves to be healed by the Holy
... it? Forgiveness is not easy for some to ask for or give. Some situations often make people feel or believe that forgiveness of wrongdoing acts are not worth giving or sometimes receiving. This belief is especially viewed if the wrongdoing is considered as evil. Indeed, experts say that forgiving those who have wronged us helps lower blood pressure, cholesterol, and heart rate. (Haupt 2012) Haupt mentions in her article, How to Forgive, And Why You Should, that Duke University researchers reported a strong link between forgiveness and strengthened immunity among HIV-positive patients. Haupt further states that benefits aren't just limited to the physical. Letting go of old grudges reduces levels of depression, anxiety, and anger. People who forgive tend to have better relationships, feel happier and more optimistic, and overall enjoy better psychological well-being.
“Earlier research proposed that people who have been treated unfair or have emotional problems could benefit from forgiving” (Baskin and Enright, 2004, p.79).
Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense. It is also the discarding of negative emotions, such as revenge, with an increased ability to wish the offender well. In this study, the researcher explored how justification and apologies have to be phrased and framed to render them acceptable to the victims.
Forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do concerning one another’s well-being. The step of forgiveness requires us to look past the wrongs that have been done to us, and without any sort of retribution or atonement of sorts, drop that wrong-doing out of the scope of the relationship and move on. Christianity and Psychology have differing, yet surprisingly similar ways of looking at the role of forgiving one another. The agreement is obvious, Psychologists and Christians alike recognize that forgiveness has great value in preserving relationships, not just personal but communal as well. The disagreement tends to be a difference of opinion in what context forgiveness is appropriate. The question then bears itself, who is right? Should we
It’s no magic formula or antidote. It’s a process and it takes time but it is possible. Forgiveness in the simplest form is not seeking revenge or holding on to the feelings associated with the hurt. Forgiveness is, letting go of the offense and the person who caused it.
Forgivenessis a way of smoothing social relationships and maintaining one’s welfare. Personality types have a strong relationship with the degree of forgiveness. It is expected that a person who has this particular personality type will also have his own level of forgiveness depending on how a person thinks and how to deal
But if we have truly forgiven, our scarred emotions get healed. However, even if our brains recall the painful memory of past experience, we don’t feel any more of the sting of the pain and hurt of that experience. If we are able to look back at those painful memories and doesn’t feet the pain anymore, then we know that we have truly forgiven, healed and made whole. We all need time to work through our pain and loss. Sometimes when we encounter changes, it is either we experience gain or loss. Furthermore, some offenses we encounter led to a sense of loss of trust, security, friendship, relationship and a whole lots more. We may also lose our direction and forget the purpose and meaning of life when inflicted with pain through an offense. Sometimes our most horrible and painful experiences can teach us life valuable lessons, making us more insightful and stronger individuals through them. Forgiveness is all about finding what was lost and restoring the wholeness that one once had. I have overcame feelings of loss, rejection, anxiety and rage, as well as personal and marital conflicts through
Forgiveness is a process. You can still feel the pain, see the events behind your eyes, and feel the loss of the people around you but you have to find a way to forgive. People think that if you forgive someone you are forgetting or saying hey I would hang out with this person now because we’re cool but thats not at all what forgiveness is. Forgiveness is righting the wrong for yourself because you want the injustice you feel to leave. It’s acknowledging to that there a wrong that was done to you and you decide how you want to think about it not anyone
To begin with, forgiveness is when the motivation for you to move on from the upsetting or angry moment. Some may say they need some type of honesty or karma to happen to see why they should forgive them. To elaborate, forgiveness is for yourself if you do not need proof to see they will get what they deserve. To exemplify, “I don’t need proof, I have faith.’ Simon Birch. Therefore, why would you need proof when all you need to know is that it is for you and that that person is human and makes mistakes just like you; no one is perfect. When you stay stuck on hating or being upset it
Truthfully, the answer about unforgiveness is very simple, we are prideful people. Forgiving someone, means that we would have to let go of the grudge that we’ve been holding onto and reach out to someone that we’ve been angry with to show them love. By love, I don’t mean that ooey gooey love that one feels for their spouse or a loved one. It means to reach out to someone and show them God’s love.