The Importance Of A Black Cloud

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In medical circles, I’m what many people would call a Black Cloud. A Black Cloud is someone whose mere presence in the hospital seems to tempt the fates and every seriously ill patient in three counties to show up in the Emergency Department. To be a black cloud is an inconsistent fortune. There were days when I would be slammed with admissions. Other nights, there would be no admissions, but I would spend the whole night at one patient’s bedside, doing everything in my power to keep that one person alive. Forget sleep – being able to sit down was blessing enough.

“It’s good to be a Black Cloud,” my senior residents would tell me, adding, “Black Clouds are the ones who learn the most.”

I’d like to tell you about a day in my life, which I …show more content…

The patient’s lab results started to result, and an increasingly ominous picture was being painted – again, problems that I had little idea of how to fix. The nurses were my saviors. When I didn’t know what to do, they got me there by saying things like, “Have you thought about using x?” I worked until 8:30; until a result came back that was so alarming that I needed to call for help again. I called the night resident – the one I was supposed to sign out to at 7PM.

“What are you still doing here? You were supposed to sign out 90 minutes ago?” he said. I did my best to explain the situation. He came up, took the information, and told me to finish so that I could sign out and go home. I worked for about 20 more minutes, signed out, and left. I cried in my car – mostly out of sheer exhaustion, but also out of frustration. In my entire life, I had never felt so incompetent.

Not five minutes after trudging into my apartment, my white coat, hanging on the back of a kitchen chair, began to blare, and I stood in my apartment, with fresh tears now streaming down my face. In my haste to escape the hospital, I forgot to give the pagers to the senior resident. I called him to let him know, and then took the whole damned coat, pagers and all, and put it in my car without a second

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