Essay On Superheroine

SUPERHEROINE and HER FATHER is an imaginative superhero fantasy story. It’s conveys a sweet message about grieving, healing, finding happiness, and never giving up hope. There’s an engaging hook with the idea of a young girl wanting to be the youngest superheroine. It’s a solid concept.

The backstory of Mary and her father grieving over the death of her mother provides from some inner conflict. The mother having visions of their future nicely foreshadows Mary’s special gift and ability to also have visions. The history of superheroes being former witches is interesting.

Unfortunately, as much as one finds Mary to be likable, the plot, as currently structured, doesn’t work. The story really needs a stronger actionable, external goal for

There needs to be a specific goal. For example, maybe her goal as a superheroine is to make a match for the President, or make a love match for someone else. Make sure this is clearly defined. By the end of the first act the audience should understand that Mary must use her superheroine, special gift to find the President a love match. Along the way, she runs into obstacles that she has to overcome.

Show Mary in school and how she learns to be a superheroine and how she learns to make love matches. It’s always fun to see a superhero in training. In former drafts, there was opposition to Mary becoming the youngest superhero. This was intriguing and gave the story more conflict.

Also, the idea of Mary “blowing” up things and then people falling magically in love, sadly, doesn’t work. It’s not realistic, nor well understood. Try to create another way that Mary makes love matches.

Or, take a completely different point of view of the idea of Mary being a superhero, and make her a real crime fighter. As mentioned before, given that Mary has a need to cure cancer, maybe a doctor who has the cure for cancer is kidnapped and Mary must rescue him. This would be a strong, worthy goal for her. She would go up against the enemy who kidnapped the doctor. The stakes would be

Meaning, she has to make a love match by a specific date, or she’s demoted or loses her job. Or she has to save someone before they are killed or the cure is lost.

Right now, there are just too many storylines, but no clear goal or objective. This makes for a fragmented structure. Remember, one major goal and show Mary going after that goal.

Also, make sure to define what is at stake or at risk for Mary if she doesn’t achieve her goal. For example, if she can’t save a doctor, everyone will die from cancer (only a suggestion). If she can’t make a love match then that person will live life alone and Mary will feel like a failure. Make it clear that if Mary doesn’t achieve her goal, she could be fired, demoted, or hurt etc.

Credibility is a concern. As stated, it’s difficult to really understand how blowing up things makes people happy, how it makes them fall in love, and how blowing up things fixes everything. This doesn’t feel believable.

The ending with Mary becoming the US President and being the cure for cancer, again, unfortunately, isn’t convincing. The story needs more