To: Dr. Steve Flaherty From: Nathan Goodrich Date: 6/7/2017 Subject: Reading Response for “Taking the Stress Out of Stressful Conversations” Introductory Paragraph Having unpleasant or stressful conversations is an unavoidable part of life. Avoidance tends to make a mildly stressful conversation into an extremely stressful conversation because the magnitude of the stress along with the magnitude of the problem tends to amplify over time. While stressful conversations may be inevitable, these conversations can lead to positive resolutions when approached in a thoughtful manner. The person leading the conversation should understand the different directions a stressful conversation may take in order to manage the tone and emotion to the extent …show more content…
The author goes on to discuss three common types of stressful conversations that occur in the workplace. • “I have bad news for you.” o The author uses the example of addressing poor performance with a subordinate. “In conversations like this, the main challenge is to get off to the right start. If the exchange starts off reasonably well, the rest of it has a good chance of going well. But if the opening goes badly, it threatens to bleed forward into the rest of the conversation” (Weeks, 167). • “What’s going on here?” o These are conversation that take an unexpected turn in a negative direction. The author recommends managing these types of conversations by restating your intentions without conceding your point. • “You are attacking me.” o These are aggressive stressful conversations in which shouting or cursing may be used to demean the other party. According to the author, you should openly call out the tactics used by the aggressor without going on the offensive …show more content…
Placing the blame on one party is generally not an effective technique for conflict resolution. The article espouses backtracking when conversations get heated in order to restate the initial premise to allow for clarification and to disarm the other party. Perceptions The article encourages people to think about and prepare for stressful conversations in advance, which is great advice. Go into stressful conversations with a plan allows you to react in a structured manner as opposed to reacting emotionally. But, how many times have you had a confrontational conversation with some in your head a million times, but the actual conversation goes in a completely different direction? This may why the author encourages achieving a state of self-awareness so that people can recognize the deviation from their idealized conversation before it occurs. Personal
Stone, D., Patton, B., & Heen, S. (1999). Difficult conversations: How to discuss what matters most. New York, NY: Viking Press.
Difficult conversations happens every day in the workplace, it may involve a supervisor and staff communicating about low productive and work performance delivering feedback; or why this staff arrives late to work every morning. Difficult conversations can also include teammates not being able to work together on a project when the deadline is fast approaching. According to Engels, (2007a) No one relishes an uncomfortable conversation. (p.50) Nevertheless, “Executing important but unsettling conversations can be surprisingly effective when the sender follow clear guidelines. (p.50)
As the book suggests, for people to have a crucial conversation, they need to feel safe, people’s opinions should also be heard and understood. Likewise, people should look at their own faults, and try to fix them. It’s not a black or white situation, if we blame one another without critically evaluating our own behavior as well as the situation, it would lead to chaos. There is an art to a crucial conversation, why is it an art? Because few people master it, however I learned important lessons from the book that will transform me from a “good conversationalist” to a master of crucial conversations. Gathering information, focusing on what matters, and avoiding the fool’s choice are steps that I will follow in my personal, and professional life to avoid devastating
The U.S. Supreme Court has defined “fighting words” as words "which by their very utterance inflict injury or tend to incite an immediate breach of the peace” and are words that are "likely to cause an average addressee to fight." Chaplinsky v. New Hampshire, 315 U.S. 568, 572
...involves the use of abusive language to demean or harm a person in any way.
1. Summary: From small incidences, we can distinguish two types of people: the ones who sigh in frustration out of small mistakes and those who promptly deal with them without uttering any more than a single complaint or sigh. According to Michael D. Robinson(PHD at North Dakota State University), how we cope with these most dull incidents can reveal a lot about us as humans and our temperaments. In fact, this small deviation in behavior can prove detrimental to our health long term. Just as significantly stressful events can cause stress hormones to flood throughout our body, these small incidents can harm us according to Nancy Nicolson(associate professor of psychiatry and psychology at Maastricht University). Furthermore, Nicolson points to a 10-15% increase in cortisol levels for such small annoyances, which may be small compared to the 100% increase that we usually experience from greatly stressful events such as tests, but when accumulated over time, can lead to a bad combined effect. Carmen Sandi further states that feeling chronically stressed can weaken the immune system and increase heart disease. Rosalind S. Dorlen adds on, claiming that mental strategies can be practiced to help us exercise the brain region responsible for reasoning as long as we train ourselves to deal with this persistent tissue. Next, the article lists 5 signs of stress and how to deal with them. Often, we feel inconvenienced about a situation such as when a bus comes late and view our waiting of it as a “waste of time”. Perhaps, Dorlen concludes, we should try to see why the bus may have been late and take the issue from their perspective such as a maj...
The circumstances that cause stress are called stressors. Stressors vary in harshness and duration. For example, the responsibility of caring for a sick parent may be an ongoing source of major stress, whereas getting stuck in a traffic jam may cause mild, short-term stress. Some events, such as the death of a loved one, are stressful for everyone. But in other situations, individuals may respond differently to the same event—what a stressor is for one person may not be stressor for another. For example, a student who is unprepared for a chemistry test and anticipates a bad grade may feel stress, on the other hand a classmate who stud...
According to Professor Benjamin Lahey “one effective way of dealing with stress is to remove or to reduce the source of stress from our lives” (564). In the article he mentions
Beebe, Steven A., Susan J. Beebe, and Mark V. Redmond. "Understanding Self and Others." Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others. Boston: Allyn and Bacon/Pearson, 2009. 43. Print.
...her, I am reminded that, there is always the need for the talker to add in a little sarcastic remark. I am reminded that comments that involve put-downs, criticism, and condescension create problematic and manipulative outcomes. Peterson (200) warns us that there are communicative traps that we need to be aware of. Peterson could have elaborated more fully on how and what to do when this occurs. While I am aware that the book has caused me to be more of a listener, however, the reverse effect is a loss in being a speaker. Peterson contends that healthy filters can be used to create healthy relationships that are empathetic and sympathetic in nature. It seems that Peterson wants to move communication into this phenomenon that is universally sound and politically correct. However, it seems that if we take on this task we are forcing ourselves against nature.
This theory has been subject to many articles and studies in the communication and social departments. Indeed, studying this theory can help us understanding human relations in interpersonal communication. Each of us has been one day confronted to uncertainty, whereas in initial encounters, or moving to a new a new place, or beginning a new work.
Interpersonal conflict is very common with many relationships. It occurs when two people can not meet in the middle or agree on a discussion. Cooperation is key to maintaining a healthy debate. More frequently; when dealing with members of your own family, issues arise that include conflict and resolution. During this process our true conflict management style appears “out of thin air”. (Steve A. Beebe, 2008, p. 191).
Specific Purpose Statement: The audience will learn what causes stress and how stress can affect their health, and how they can manage their everyday stress with different techniques.
Jaffe-Gill, M. E., Segal, M. R., & Melinda, S. (2010, October). Stress Management. Retrieved February 13, 2011, from HelpGuide.ord: http://www.helpguide.org
In researching stress, one would learn about what stress is, the early warning signs of stress, the different types of stress, and how to build resistance to it. Stress is a combination of physical, mental, and emotional feelings that result from pressure, worry, and anxiety. These pressures are called stressors. Some examples of common stressors are; divorce, death in the family, job change, pregnancy, a large mortgage, marriage, and retirement. " In medicine, stress is, a physical, chemical, or emotional development that causes strains that can lead to physical illness."