Personal Narrative: Kuroi Ledge

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The Black Ledge: Falling Through the Darkness of Yourself Perhaps the only song I've ever been able to attribute as my favorite song is Kuroi Ledge by A Lot Like Birds, and it holds an immense amount of meaning to me. I discovered this song searching for new music as I always did, however there was quite a difference with this song, this band, I could listen to them for hours on end. This song not only awakened something in me, it helped me face some of my worst possible fears, but some of my worst realities as well: abandonment, suicide, and the idea of finding a certain beauty in tragedy. Kuroi Ledge, literally translates from Japanese to Black Ledge, we see the danger in this, the metaphor of a dark ledge tempting us to go further, and …show more content…

Which was no strange feeling to me since I turned to music to cope with whatever ailed me, because no matter what, a song, some headphones, and volume turned way too loud was always there. Returning to the supple age of ten, was a disconnect, mainly between the receptors in my brain that determine whether or not I get enough of the happy chemicals, but between what I am, and what I thought I was. I thought I was a kid like everyone else, I would be sad for no reason often, but moving many times, and having to be on my own for a large portion of my early to late teens, I thought it was how life was for most people in my situation. My situation was dreary at best, people bullied me extensively in middle school to high school, in the first string of serious relationships I had they all left because of some arbitrary meaning of what being happy should have been; coming to a peak on Valentines day of 2012, the first time I attempted suicide. Suicide is the focus of the song, how abandonment can lead to hopelessness and desperation to the point of the ultimate act of despair, death. “I guess I finally had the courage to go away. The promises we made were made hollowly. Sometimes you'd reassure me we'd be okay. But you'd always leave” (A Lot Like Birds. Kuroi Ledge. Equal Vision Records, 2013. …show more content…

I began to go to therapy, I found healthy patterns of taking care of myself, safe ways to take risks, I found communities I belonged in, and the list could go on. After therapy had gone on for awhile, my psychologist and I found it in my best interest to have a psychiatric support/service animal, which soon after she advised and I garnered all the paperwork necessary to have her with me wherever I may wish or need, I did. If you're wondering if I named her what you're thinking, you bet I did, her name is Kuroi. Adopting Kuroi was the biggest positive change in my life, I noticed after that living with depression, with anxiety, with bipolar disorder, with this long list of problems going on inside my mind constantly, that life isn't so awful all the

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