Over Come Gridlock Analysis

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For perpetual problems, problems that boomerang into the lives of the married, Principle 6 advises to Over Come Gridlock, which shows how to save and protect marriages from irreconcilable differences. A Gridlock is a problem that just cannot be solved, such as the wife wants a baby and the husband is adamant about never wanting to have a baby. Gottman says that in order to navigate out of the gridlock, the cause of the problem must be understood. The goal in ending the gridlock is not to solve the problem, but to move from the gridlock to dialogue. Talking about the problem without hurting each other and learning to live with the problem in a healthy manner is vital. Spouses have different dreams for their lives and this can often lead to…show more content…
Principle 7, Creating Shared Meaning between each other, is an additional way to add life to the marriage. A shared meaning is not just having common children, splitting the responsibilities around the house, or sharing intimacy. It is sculpting an inner life together, appreciating the traditions, values, and appreciating the goals that have led the couple to being the family they have become. Finding a marriage culture, the story between two people who have decided to share life together, is in the traditions, the upbringings, the insecurities, and the meaningful history behind the people that each other fell in love with. Allowing room for each other to share their funny, embarrassing, monumental moments in their lives, making it a goal to create an atmosphere that encourages each other to talk openly and honestly about anything they desire. This honest conversation, this friendship birthed, the shared agreement to walk hand in hand through life together despite all of the past while looking forward to the future, is creating a shared…show more content…
I know that already because my boyfriend was able to have a Love Map for me in his head, but that same boyfriend and I couldn’t work past or even discuss a gridlock in our relationship. No matter how good he was at learning details about my life, he was not open at all to talking about me going away to college. These three principles are of great importance to me and will be in my marriage, but the remaining four will need to be intentionally applied by my husband and I as well. We will need to build our friendship and respect for each other from day one, soaking up all that we can about each other. It will be imperative that we practice communicating and addressing hard topics, all the while dreaming our dreams together from the first date on. This must be done in order to grow our friendship and become emotionally intelligent spouses, Gottman’s key themes to a vibrant and lasting marriage. I do crave a vivacious, undying, marriage with my best friend, and I believe that by seeking The Lord , by reading this book and keeping its 7 principles buried in my heart and mind, I can be prepared to keep a lasting and fruitful marriage. This will not happen by going on romantic dates, and solving every single problem, but by being his friend, being emotionally intelligent, and by handling problems and joys together. With his hand in mine and a fierce determination in our hearts we can choose to love each other relentlessly while making

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