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For perpetual problems, problems that boomerang into the lives of the married, Principle 6 advises to Over Come Gridlock, which shows how to save and protect marriages from irreconcilable differences. A Gridlock is a problem that just cannot be solved, such as the wife wants a baby and the husband is adamant about never wanting to have a baby. Gottman says that in order to navigate out of the gridlock, the cause of the problem must be understood. The goal in ending the gridlock is not to solve the problem, but to move from the gridlock to dialogue. Talking about the problem without hurting each other and learning to live with the problem in a healthy manner is vital. Spouses have different dreams for their lives and this can often lead to …show more content…
Principle 7, Creating Shared Meaning between each other, is an additional way to add life to the marriage. A shared meaning is not just having common children, splitting the responsibilities around the house, or sharing intimacy. It is sculpting an inner life together, appreciating the traditions, values, and appreciating the goals that have led the couple to being the family they have become. Finding a marriage culture, the story between two people who have decided to share life together, is in the traditions, the upbringings, the insecurities, and the meaningful history behind the people that each other fell in love with. Allowing room for each other to share their funny, embarrassing, monumental moments in their lives, making it a goal to create an atmosphere that encourages each other to talk openly and honestly about anything they desire. This honest conversation, this friendship birthed, the shared agreement to walk hand in hand through life together despite all of the past while looking forward to the future, is creating a shared …show more content…
I know that already because my boyfriend was able to have a Love Map for me in his head, but that same boyfriend and I couldn’t work past or even discuss a gridlock in our relationship. No matter how good he was at learning details about my life, he was not open at all to talking about me going away to college. These three principles are of great importance to me and will be in my marriage, but the remaining four will need to be intentionally applied by my husband and I as well. We will need to build our friendship and respect for each other from day one, soaking up all that we can about each other. It will be imperative that we practice communicating and addressing hard topics, all the while dreaming our dreams together from the first date on. This must be done in order to grow our friendship and become emotionally intelligent spouses, Gottman’s key themes to a vibrant and lasting marriage. I do crave a vivacious, undying, marriage with my best friend, and I believe that by seeking The Lord , by reading this book and keeping its 7 principles buried in my heart and mind, I can be prepared to keep a lasting and fruitful marriage. This will not happen by going on romantic dates, and solving every single problem, but by being his friend, being emotionally intelligent, and by handling problems and joys together. With his hand in mine and a fierce determination in our hearts we can choose to love each other relentlessly while making
The book Boundaries in Dating is a simple but powerful tool to have in any dating relationship or a forming friendship. Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend have great take away tips to make healthy choices in a dating relationship. If you already have a relationship you can still take away great tips from Boundaries in dating such as how to grow a healthier relationship. This is not necessarily a book for married people but it still has some great tips that you can take away. Dr. Henry and Dr. John aimed Boundaries in Dating to form rules for romance that can definitely help you find the love if your life. Reading this can help you maintain healthy boundaries, which help you grow in freedom, honesty and self control and also how to form your love based on truth and love. This book is a great tool for finding a significant other who loves The Lord and is equally yoked to have healthy boundaries in a friendship and dating. Dating can be such a rough and awkward yet exciting time in your life, but this book has great points to too give you chunks of wisdom to affect your own heart and for that to bleed over onto the other person. Boundaries in Dating is a book that is a step-by-step process, starting off with "why do we even have boundaries in dating?" The book ends with how to really set those boundaries and what it looks like in your relationship. The in-between chapters are just as important with awesome take away tips to sum up the while chapter and give you key points if what the chapter was truly about. Something you will receive from Dr. Could and Dr. Townsend writings is stories from other people's experiences in dating and the journey if what that looks like. Dr. Cloud and Dr. Townsend really aim to the teenage and young a...
of mutual support and prosperity for the family as a whole. From a modern American p...
When people get a job, they may be nervous or very excited, but they never expect the management to be so bad they will want to quit. This is what happened to Beverly at Gridlock Meadows. Knowing the management style of your employer or supervisor can help you with problems in the long run. This paper will focus on four different management styles and how they could be used in Gridlock Meadows.
Human beings are not isolated individuals. We do not wander through a landscape of trees and dunes alone, reveling in our own thoughts. Rather, we need relationships with other human beings to give us a sense of support and guidance. We are social beings, who need talk and company almost as much as we need food and sleep. We need others so much, that we have developed a custom that will insure company: marriage. Marriage assures each of us of company and association, even if it is not always positive and helpful. Unfortunately, the great majority of marriages are not paragons of support. Instead, they hold danger and barbs for both members. Only the best marriages improve both partners. So when we look at all three of Janie’s marriages, only her marriage to Teacake shows the support, guidance, and love.
Marriage is a commitment that seems to be getting harder to keep. The social standards placed on an individual by society and influenced by the media inevitably lead some to consider divorce as a “quick-fix” option. “Have it your way” has become a motto in the United States. It has become a country without any consideration of the psychological effects of marriage and divorce. The overwhelmingly high divorce rate is caused by a lack of moral beliefs and marital expectations.
" Family Relations 52.4 (2003): 363-72. Print. Hanson, Richard R. "Optimizing Marital Success: The Conscious Couple Uniting Process. "
Marriage was once for the sole purpose of procreation and financially intensives. Living up to the roles that society had placed on married couples, more so women, is no longer the goal in marriage. Being emotional satisfied, having a fulfilled sex life and earning money is more important in marriage (Cherlin, 2013). Couples no longer feel the obligation to put the needs of their partner in front of their own needs. In the 1960’s and later it was the woman’s job to ensure that the house was clean, the children were bathed and dinner was prepared before the husband came home work. However, once more and more women began to enter the workplace and gain more independence, a desire for self-development and shared roles in the household lead way the individualistic marriage that is present in today’s society (Cherlin,
...r of The Lord and the ultimate dependency in His grace and love. Then, as I submit myself to His will, also lay at His feet my marriage and my wife. After this, I believe I need to make a conscious decision to love my wife regardless of the circumstances and situations that we face. This part is extremely important. It is a rational resolution, not one that is conditioned by, but one that will prevail despite of actions or feelings. Next, pray for the cultivation of fruits of the spirit, love patience, kindness, etc to be the center of our marriage as we both seek to understand each other and love each other better. Finally, intentional time together to grow in The Lord, to pray and to enjoy one another will constitute the foundations of a marriage rooted in God. These steps cement a base in which we can build and grow our covenant with The Lord and with each other.
Marriage and family life has been changing over the past few decades. Not only has the idea of family and marriage changed, but the way marriage and family are perceived has changed. With the transition from modern times to postmodern times, the typical life has developed in to more of an isolated society, than ever before. The concept of unity and close ties has become almost nonexistent, with the development and progression of technology. Communication has become less personal and less intimate, eliminating the idea of creativity. With the elimination of creativity, because of the development of less personal communication, the chances of meeting someone has become less personal and mo...
book “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman, the author writes about the importance of communicating with your spouse in a language that fulfills their love tank. Throughout the book he uses real life scenarios in couples to help them examine what their primary love language is through various acts and experiments. Love and marriage are the primary topics of the book, and the author illustrates how to understand their construction, and how they function in society. Love is needed in all areas to fulfill the needs of a human and to succeed in marriage. Society plays a big role on ideal marriages and how it should be based on the defined responsibilities and rights of husbands and wives.
Marriage is termed as a legitimate commitment or social establishment which unites two people mutually as husband and wife. The agreement ascertains privileges and responsibilities amid spouses, spouses and children and spouses and in-laws. Marriage is deemed to be a momentous union in every society. It is significant in terms of providing security, emotional support and fulfilling economic, social, cultural and physical needs. These needs are the natural cravings of young adults that drive them towards matrimony. It is a foundation that is based on personal responsibilities which form the backbone of civilizations.
In conclusion, Dr. John Gottman demonstrates how communication is vital in any relationship and not just marriage. Personally, I consider a relationship to be a reciprocating affair in which every party plays a role to sustain it. In the event of a conflict with my partner, my go to plan is not to criticise, but to give room for dialogue in order to establish the root cause of the conflict.
The more you get to know someone, the more you are able to make better decisions and judgments for not just yourself, but for your partner as well. How a couple handles issues while
According to Genesis 1:26, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness.” In essence, this book is more focused on how God expects us, as individuals to follow in is foot step and adapt his attributes. The book ‘Principles and values for a successful family” written by Ellen G. White, it highlights certain principles, morals and values that aids in upholding a stable marriage and family. It is use as a means of helping individuals prevent marital and family conflicts throughout their life in case they arise. It portrays certain variables that each family member of a sub-system within a family should understand and respect aspects of an individual and understand that each individual is unique, they serves a purpose and their wishes should be respected. In different aspects of the book it highlights what it takes in being a successful family and how it can impact them. It demonstrates the foundation of progress, the leader influence the family and the family on a whole influence the society. So what we do and partake in as a family that will be the outcome of society whether it be negative
To be partners in life, and to be happy in the union, couples should be open and honest, love and respect each other. This should be the "way of the world".