book “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman, the author writes about the importance of communicating with your spouse in a language that fulfills their love tank. Throughout the book he uses real life scenarios in couples to help them examine what their primary love language is through various acts and experiments. Love and marriage are the primary topics of the book, and the author illustrates how to understand their construction, and how they function in society. Love is needed in all areas to fulfill the needs of a human and to succeed in marriage. Society plays a big role on ideal marriages and how it should be based on the defined responsibilities and rights of husbands and wives.
Three articles were chosen based on love and marriage and analyzed to the book. In one of the articles “What Married Woman Want” by Stan Guthrie interviews a sociologist Brad Wilcox on his study of married women. The article reads that women are the happiest in their marriage when they receive emotional engagement from their husband. In Chapman’s book he states that women and men have a primary love language that fulfills their love tank. The five love languages Chapman discloses are: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Receiving Gifts, and Quality Time. Guthrie however argues that as long as women are provided with love, affectionate, and empathy she is the happiest. I found it interesting to read that she had stated that women prefer their husband’s emotional engagement rather than acts of service “We have to recognize that for the average American marriage, it matters a lot more whether the husband is emotionally in tune with his wife than whether he's doing, say, half the dishes or half the laundry” (Stan Guthrie, What Ma...
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...d hoping it would help me in my relationship, I found it to be helpful and resourceful. For one I realized me and my partner were speaking different languages of love. My primary love language is acts of service and my boyfriend’s primary language was physical touch. Our languages weren’t being communicated, and we were neglecting them. During the reading of the book I followed up on some of the exercises Chapman had advised to do. At first my boyfriend didn’t understand the reason of the exercises, as he had believed I was happy but when I asked him if he was happy he had said not really. So upon doing the exercises together we realized that without him speaking my primarily language I wasn’t giving him any acknowledge in his language. I later identified the sociological themes of symbolic interaction, social-conflict, and structural-functional within the book
A History of Marriage by Stephanie Coontz speaks of the recent idealization of marriage based solely on love. Coontz doesn’t defame love, but touches on the many profound aspects that have created and bonded marriages through time. While love is still a large aspect Coontz wants us to see that a marriage needs more solid and less fickle aspects than just love.
In her essay “The Myth of Coparenting: How it is supposed to be. How it is,” Hope Edelman discusses the issues that she faces when dealing with marriage roles. According to her descriptions, her husband doesn’t play an active role in their domestic life and only focuses on his career. Edelman often gets into arguments with him over his disinterest and lack of contribution to home life. She responds to this lack of interest by buying a swing set along with other items against the husband’s wishes. Similarly, Eric Bartels’ essay “My Problem with Her Anger” discusses the effects of marital roles from the husband’s perspective. He argues that although he is not the most active with domestic life, he does contribute. Bartels claims that his wife’s anger makes it hard for the family to function. Bartels proves his dedication to their family by showing how he gives up drinking beer in order to dedicate more time to helping out around the house. Both Edelman and Bartels express love for their children and frustration at their spouse. As a result of this, references to the swing set in Edelman’s essay and to beer in Bartels’ essay reveal that when there is a disagreement between the husband and wife in a marriage, it is possible that one of the partners will express their emotion through rebellion against his spouse
Marriage is an eternal commitment between two people who love each other. But marriage is not always perfect and passionate as society has portrayed it to be. Marriage will inevitably be filled with annoyance and aggravation, because both individuals hold expectations their spouse cannot meet. In My Problem With Her Anger, newspaper writer Eric Bartels discusses the husband’s point of view in a traditional, but modern, marriage. In his article, Bartels uses subjective language in order to express the constant quarrel between him and his wife’s perpetual anger to influence his male audience into sympathizing with his marital obstacles.
Throughout the course of our lives we will experience the deterioration of a loved one due to illness or aging. This may cause us to make a choice of how and where we choose our loved one to die. Authors, Carolyn Jaffe and Carol H. Ehrlich, in their book All Kinds of Love, illustrate how the relationships between doctors, patients', family, friends, hospice volunteers, and hospice nurses all play an important role during he patients last days as they try to reach a "good death". In the book's foreword, Rabbi Earl A. Grollman comments on Jaffe's history of nursing experience and states "Her stories bring alive the concerns, the surprises, the victories, the disappointments, the mistakes, the uncertainties, the joys, and the pain that are part of one's dying" (1, p. v).
Love and affection is an indispensable part of human life. In different culture love may appear differently. In the poem “My god my lotus” lovers responded to each other differently than in the poem “Fishhawk”. Likewise, the presentation of female sexuality, gender disparity and presentation of love were shown inversely in these two poems. Some may argue that love in the past was not as same as love in present. However, we can still find some lovers who are staying with their partners just to maintain the relationship. We may also find some lovers having relationship only because of self-interest. However, a love relationship should always be out of self-interest and must be based on mutual interest. A love usually obtains its perfectness when it develops from both partners equally and with same affection.
Warren Farrell is a well educated man who focuses his attention on gender. In his essay “Men as Success Objects,” he writes about gender roles in male-female relationships. He begins, “for thousands of years, marriages were about economic security and survival” (Farrell 185). The key word in that statement is were. This implies the fact that marriage has changed in the last century. He relates the fact that post 1950s, marriage was more about what the male and female were getting out of the relationship rather than just the security of being married. Divorce rates grew and added to the tension of which gender held the supremacy and which role the individuals were supposed to accept. “Inequality in the workplace” covered up all of the conflicts involved with the “inequality in the homeplace”(Farrell). Farrell brings to attention all ...
Since most men have mothers to cater to their every need up until the time they move out, they have outrageous expectations of how a wife should act and what duties she should perform. Judy Brady, who is a wife and mother, wrote the essay "I Want a Wife" to explain what men want in a wife. She discusses the different skills a wife needs to possess for a man to consider her a good wife. Brady’s use of repetition, constant sarcasm, and defensive word choice throughout her essay makes it successful by relating to women’s frustrations of being a wife.
Human beings are not isolated individuals. We do not wander through a landscape of trees and dunes alone, reveling in our own thoughts. Rather, we need relationships with other human beings to give us a sense of support and guidance. We are social beings, who need talk and company almost as much as we need food and sleep. We need others so much, that we have developed a custom that will insure company: marriage. Marriage assures each of us of company and association, even if it is not always positive and helpful. Unfortunately, the great majority of marriages are not paragons of support. Instead, they hold danger and barbs for both members. Only the best marriages improve both partners. So when we look at all three of Janie’s marriages, only her marriage to Teacake shows the support, guidance, and love.
The film analyzes a romantic relationship that is expected to last for a day. However, the nature of emotional attachment created by the relationship proves otherwise. Interpersonal communication is an essential aspect of romance because it enhances understanding, conflict resolution, and decision making. I selected the romantic interpersonal relationship because it is an essential aspect of life as far as marriage is concerned. Marriage is sustained through constant communication to help reduce the differences and enhance the effort of the couples in developing their marriage (Burleson
First, we have what we call falling in love. When a person is in love they have the tendency to do outrageous things for the person that they love. Then they get married. Soon after the marriage they will seem like they fall out love. There is two choices: one, get a divorce and try again, or two, work on loving the other without the “in-love obsession”4 But the question is how does a person love another person in this way? The answer is one of the five languages. While a person may speak one of these languages, they may not speak it quite like another would speak the same language. Just as languages have different dialects, so love languages have different dialects. The pe...
Humboldt Journal of Social Relations 32.1, TRANSLATIONAL APPLIED SOCIOLOGY (2009): 158-83. JSTOR.Web. 11 May 2014. Chalmers, Jennifer H. "Romantic Love: Is It a Realistic Goal for Marriage Therapy?" Romantic Love: Is It a Realistic Goal for Marriage Therapy?
Marriage was once for the sole purpose of procreation and financially intensives. Living up to the roles that society had placed on married couples, more so women, is no longer the goal in marriage. Being emotional satisfied, having a fulfilled sex life and earning money is more important in marriage (Cherlin, 2013). Couples no longer feel the obligation to put the needs of their partner in front of their own needs. In the 1960’s and later it was the woman’s job to ensure that the house was clean, the children were bathed and dinner was prepared before the husband came home work. However, once more and more women began to enter the workplace and gain more independence, a desire for self-development and shared roles in the household lead way the individualistic marriage that is present in today’s society (Cherlin,
When looking at the differences of how women and men think about love, a very different point is made. In Steve Harvey’s book Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man, he discusses a woman’s love for her man, “Nothing … can compare with a woman’s love”(19). “A woman’s love it is kind and compassionate, patient and nurturing, generou...
In the book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (1999) John M. Gottman provides insight on the seven fundamental tools to construct positive relationships. Through long years of research, Gottman studied married couples and noted degenerative behaviors that hindered the formation and attainment of a long and healthy marriage. Gottman research focused on several key behavioral predictors of divorce, which he calls the “The Four Horsemen”; Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling.
The book The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Last by Gary Chapman talks about how to improve your marriage by loving your spouse how they want to be loved, not just by how you think you should love them. The book starts out with on page eleven with the chapter, “What Happens to Love After the Wedding.” Chapman tells his first story of the book that starts to talk about what he does and why it works. He is talking to a man on a plane who wonders why none of his three marriages lasted even though they were in love. Gary Chapman tells the readers that there are five primary love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. Each spouse will most likely have a different love language, and the key is to know what your partner’s is so that when you are loving towards them, it will mean significantly more for them. The man on the plane thought he was be very loving in each of the marriages, wanting it to work; however, even though he was