Humorous Wedding Speech by the Father of the Groom
Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - I am the groom's father, Ken, and I have the great privilege of being best man. I have recently found out there are two reasons why J W asked me to do this job. 1) To make him look younger and slimmer in the photos. 2) Because he didn't want to burden any of his friends with the terrible prospect of having to give this speech.
It's the speech that no one wants to do. The best man doesn't really know what he's expected to say and yet his speech is supposed to be humorous - but it might not be. It's supposed to be short - but it probably won't be. It should be original - but it seldom is. It should not offend - and most do. And finally, it's supposed to be sincere and I certainly intend mine to be. In fact, I cannot be more sincere than to say to my son what an honor you have done to me by asking me to be your best man today.
That said, while you are all here to enjoy yourselves, the poor best man has to work for his supper - not that he is able to enjoy his food for the thought of making that speech. He is so nervous he can hardly eat his meal. J W, seeing how nervous I was, arranged for me to have the best seat in the house - namely cubicle 3 in the Gent's toilet.
There's even a sign behind the door which reads 'the best man inspects these toilets at 15-minute intervals. If you have any complaints please report it ...
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...come so fond of Kathy and we looked upon her as a daughter that we had gained.
I can but wish the new Mr and Mrs Wilson every success in the future.
As I said at the start I'm not very sure what a best man is supposed to say in his speech. I do know he really has only one thing he must cover and that is to say to the groom 'J W, on behalf of the matron of honour and the bridesmaids thank you very much for all that you said. I can only but agree with your comments.
I would like to finish my speech by making a toast to the two most important persons here today - Ladies and gentlemen - a toast to the Chef and the Barman. Thank you.
Only kidding, the toast is to J W and Kathy - the Bride and Groom.
Before 1967, interracial unions were illegal. Once the legislature overturned the ruling of the laws against interracial unions, the biracial population increased. Census data reveals that the US’ multiracial population has approached more than nine million individuals. In 1997, due to this dramatic increase, a change was made which allowed the biracial population to check off more than one racial category on the 2000 United States Census. This feat was not accomplished without controversy. A federal task force was set up to investigate the political and social implications of creating a new racial classification....
Good evening. I would like to begin by welcoming each and every one of you to this joyous and stressful occasion.
The organization was distinctive for is time. There were other labor unions, but the Knights supported trade craftsmen, common laborers, and worked for the well being of both. According to Dessler (2011) “the Knights of Labor had engaged in a class struggle to alter the form of society, and thereby get a bigger chunk of benefits for its members” (p.544-545). In contrast the American Federation of Labor (AFL) concentrated on practical concerns. “Samuel Gompers aimed to reach the same goal by raising day-to-day wages and improving working conditions” (Dessler, 2011, p. 545). Rituals and rites, secrecy, and a belief that labor was a key component to the industry of the country and as such should also have a voice in the organizations, community, and country the supported the ideas of their organization.
Pearlmann, J. and Mary Waters. 2002. The New Race Question: How the Census Counts Multiracial Individuals. New York: Russell Sage Foundation.
The Consequentialism framework suggests decision making is an action-based process, that is, one that determines the rightness or wrongness of an act according to the relevant outcomes or consequences. Within Consequentialism there consists a variety of perspectives including egoism, altruism and utilitarianism. Like Consequentialism, Non-Consequentialism is also an action-based perspective. This framework however, focuses on the rules and principles related to an act rather then the consequences that may follow. Decisions are made with consideration to written and unwritten rules that fall under the subcategories of Natural Rights, Social Contract, Divine Command and Deontology.
It is customary for the best man to retell an embarrassing tale or two from the bridegroom’s past. As Gary’s oldest friend, this part of the speech fell to me. However, I had two problems with this. Firstly, Gary originally insisted on vetting the speech, which would have meant me going to the trouble of preparing two speeches. Luckily, he relented. Secondly, Gary is the original Mr. Nice Guy and it's very difficult to think of anything bad to say about him. So, back to you Steve!
Eidenmuller, Michael E. Great Speeches for Better Speaking: Listen and Learn From America’s Most Memorable Speeches. New York: Mcgraw Hill, 2008. Google Books. Web. 4 September 2010.
A common objection to consequentialism, that agents are burdened with duties to help others at the expense of their own happiness, was not even addressed. This in itself seems to be one form of absolutism that riddles consequentialism in general. Nielsen made it clear that one should not be absolute about insisting on weighing consequences when they are barely known, but would he reject this notion as well? It is not clear that this absolutism, of always valuing the good of others over the agent’s own self, is separable from the concept of consequentialism; so it is not clear that consequentialism can escape absolutism as Nielsen concluded in the second argument recounted here.
"Hey, I have a question, do you mind presenting a speech, do you mind presenting a speech? Some of our officers can’t make it to the induction.”
I am sure you will all agree that this has turned out to be a fabulous wedding celebration so far. Rhonda, you really do look beautiful in that dress and I could see Tim swelling with pride as you walked down the aisle earlier today.
be here with us today. For those of you who don't know me, I have been a friend of the groom's for seven years. He has many special friends, and haying the privilege of being chosen as his best man, from such esteemed company, is an honor the likes of which I have never had bestowed upon me.
Firstly, on behalf of the bridesmaids, I'd like to thank the groom for his kind words, and I have to say they have done an excellent job today and look absolutely wonderful.
Finally, on behalf of the bride and groom I would like to thank everyone for sharing their special day, it is a true millstone - sorry milestone in their lives. On behalf of myself I wish you'd all stayed at home - as things would have been a lot easier on me. I started planning this speech about 5 months ago and I expect you all feel like I've been delivering it equally as long. But now it gives me immense pleasure (not to mention relief) to invite you to all stand and raise your glasses in a toast to John and Angie. To love, laughter and happily ever after. To John and Angie CONGRATULATIONS
After having done all the hand-over to Araniti, he called me and told me to prepare a short speech, that he would deliver at the cocktail party organized in the reunion hall to honor him as he left his post .He told me where I had to concentrate and added:
Let me first say that the bridesmaids look absolutely smashing today, and only rightly outshone by our bride, Pamela. And, I'm sure you'll agree with me gentlemen, today is a sad day for single men, as another beauty leaves the available list. And ladies, I'm sure you'll agree that today's passing by without much of a ripple.