Free Humorous Essays and Papers

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    A Humorous and Heartfelt Wedding Speech Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen - I would like to start by thanking Frank on behalf of the bridesmaids for his kind comments and echo the fact that they look wonderful and performed their role fantastically well, despite the inevitable and healthy rivalry that can sometimes occur. In fact, just before the service I overheard a furious sisterly argument about who was going to be first to dance with the best man. Understandable, I thought - until I got

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    Humorous Best Man Speech

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    Humorous Best Man Speech The hotel management have asked me to ask you not to stand on the tables or chairs during the standing ovation at the end of my speech. Now, I asked around for an idea of how long my speech should last, and the general response was about as long as it takes the groom to make love. So with that in mind, thank you, you have been a wonderful audience. (Sit and then get back up) I think an introduction is worthwhile. For those of you who do not yet know me my name

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    Humorous Best Man Speech

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    Humorous Best Man Speech Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. Firstly on behalf of the bridesmaids, I would like to thank the groom for his kind words, and may I also say that they have done a fantastic job today and all of them look absolutely beautiful. I'd also like to say that the bride looks absolutely stunning today as I’m sure you will all agree. Unfortunately for the wedding photographs, the groom just looks stunned. When I was asked to be best man I consulted the Internet for

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    A Humorous Distillation of Antigone by Maurice Sagoff This poem is quite successful in getting the plot across to the reader. Unfortunatly, that is all he can get across because of his beleif that, "inside every fat book is a skinny book trying to get out." Sargoff cannot have character descriptions, themes, or any real detail in his "skinny book" because of his beleifs. Sargoff leaves off why Polynices should not be burried and why his brother, who is not even menchoned, can be burried

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    Humorous and Sentimental Wedding Speech by the Groom I was going to begin with "ladies and gentlemen" but on looking around I'm glad I didn't. So here goes. Distinguished guests, those of lesser distinction, and those of no distinction at all, family relatives, new and old, in-laws and out-laws, friends, friends of friends, and freeloaders, welcome to our wedding reception. First of all I would like to thank my brothers and my new sister for their kind words. I did have a speech all

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    Beth the Pig Once-upon-a-time, there was a farmer named Phildo, who owned a pig. The pig's name was Beth, and she weighed about twelve hundred pounds. Phildo was very proud of her. Everywhere he went Beth was right there behind him. People passing him along the sidewalk would say good morning and comment on how hippo-like Beth. Phildo would smile and raise his hat good morning. By the time of the spring fair, she weighed in at slightly over one thousand, five hundred pounds. When word spread that

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    Groom's Wedding Speech - Humorous, but Not Offensive Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to witness a unique event in history - the very first and last time that my wife is going to let me speak on behalf of both of us. It is a privilege and an honor to do so. I just hope that, so soon into our married life, I don't let her down. Today has so far been a day beyond my wildest dreams. As a child, dreaming of my wedding day, I never dared imagine that I would end up marrying someone so intelligent

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    Humorous Best Man Speech

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    Humorous Best Man Speech I would also like to thank you all for being here today to share in this very special occasion. Before I begin my traditional destruction of the groom’s character, I would just like to say again how lovely the bride looks today. This is actually the first time I have made a speech (as you can probably tell), and it is true when they say that its nerve racking. In fact I could go so far as to say that I feel about as comfortable as Osama Bin Laden in the Whitehouse

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    Humorous Wedding Toast by the Bride's Brother Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen. Firstly, on behalf of the bridesmaids, I'd like to thank Mike for his kind words and reiterate how wonderful they look and what a fantastic job they have done today. I would also like to say that Sallie looks stunning - as I'm sure you'll all agree. Which really isn't that much of a surprise given we are related. Sallie is of course my sister, so I've known her much longer than I've known Mike. But I have

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    Humorous Best Man Speech - The Groom’s Life Story Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. It’s surprising just how far some people are prepared to travel for a free lunch. It’s a good job the groom didn't choose the menu, otherwise we would have had penut-butter sandwiches washed down with beer. Firstly, I have a feet messages to read out.(read telegrams etc.) As Bill Clinton said to each of his girlfriends, I wont keep you long. I’d like to begin by thanking the groom for asking me to be

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