“AWW! How long did you guys last? Two weeks?!?” That is just one of the many conversations made among those going through a divorce. Yes. I get it, sometimes things don’t quite work out the way it was intended to, but do you blame it on the two people within the marriage, or the document signed? After all, can a piece of paper really make your wife cheat on you or even cause the arguments between you two? Marriage isn’t anything to be taken lightly whatsoever. It’s just not papers you sign to get it out of the way, it’s a commitment made between you and the one you could see yourself spending the rest of your life with.
Now, when some things don’t go as planned, we all need to realize that it was wrong on the couple’s end, whether it be they didn’t work things out or the whole relationship was doomed from the beginning. The signed paper doesn’t cause all these divorces we may witness or hear on the news about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, it’s the people and the situations they have to deal with. We shouldn’t base us not wanting to get married all because one of our role model’s marriages didn’t work. Rather, we must think that they can do better, as
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Even if you’re an expert in writing or reading, it was your cognitive abilities that helped you be so awesome. Marriage is similar, you live and you learn with your one and only. Marriage, the event itself, is the expression of you and your supposed to be partner for life. It’s all about the love two people have for one another. We shouldn’t base things off of movie cliches, rather realize that it’s the real deal and shouldn’t be taken lightly. I believe that’s the issue with the countless divorces going on now a days, there’s no sense of forgiveness and preparedness for how serious things are about to be. Divorces aren’t such a bad thing when you look at it from a certain view. Just think of it as being one person closer to the one you’re truly supposed to be
Baris, Mitchell. "Frequently Asked Questions on Surviving the Emotional Trauma of Divorce." Online. Available: http://www.divorcecentral.com/lifeline/life_ans.html #Notsaved. 2 August 2001.
In this text, Deal (2014) explains that “one of the great ironies of divorce” (p. 130) is the need to cooperate with the ex-spouse, even if you hated him before the divorce. My family shows the complexity that divorce can bring to a family’s life, and the adults need to constantly monitor their own attitudes for the sake of the children. Deal encourages building communication and flexibility; however, his reminder to accept that neither co-parent can control the other’s household decision is one of
While people can find success and happiness after divorce, there still is that weight of sadness hanging over memories of their
For those who are heading in the direction of a divorce should take a lot of time to think over things before getting a divorced. A divorce can seriously effect many in negative ways that will change their lives forever. So therefore, divorce should be thought about twice before any one decides to go through it. If a marriage is having any problems its best for them to talk it out or seek some professional help to deal with the problems before it destroys the marriage.
The importance placed on fidelity has probably never been higher than it is today. In Stephanie Coontz’s essay, “Five Myths about Marriage,” she states that according to a 2010 Gallup Poll that only 23% of Americans believe that divorce is morally wrong, while 92% believe it is immoral for married men and women to have an affair. Mary Malone, a married high school teacher says, “Based on my own life experiences, I can name several examples in which a couple, with and without children, divorced instead of having an affair and hiding it from one of the spouses. They filed for a non-contest divorce to acknowledge that the fidelity piece of the vows could no longer be upheld” (M. Malone, personal communication, January 16,
Everyone goes through a divorce differently, but there is no doubt that divorce is hard for everyone involved. The people who suffer the most are always the children. They are the future and they need to reach their full potential. By making good decisions, we can raise them to far exceed their full potential. By being educated on divorce we make better decisions about marital problems. Hopefully people will think twice about the future effects for them and their family before they ask for a divorce. Remember, a divorce affects everyone involved, and those affects are almost always negative.
Therefore, divorce should be a last resort because it brings nothing but such pain, and affects each individual directly involved in the divorce. For one, divorce causes trauma and exhaustion. Medved states, "The process of evaluating the injuries-of cajoling and pleading and threatening-is emotionally exhausting. The physical act of packing and moving out is traumatic. And from there the trauma escalates"(664). According to this quote divorce causes more pain than closure, leaving both in distress. Furthermore, it affects future relationships. In fact, according to Medved, it brings indefinite "distrust, agony, and bitterness"(665). It is harder to move on, and to find a new partner, when a person's trust and hope has suddenly turned into nothing but a distant memory. Lastly, divorce can cause many different types of psychological disorders including depression, separation anxiety, adjustment disorder, and so on. These are disorders that are difficult, if not impossible to cure. Even though difficult for her to share, Medved writes "Even though I found a satisfying relationship, I am still paying the price of my divorce... I am embarrassed and ashamed."(668) No matter the amount of time passed, the pain and the aftermath of it all, will permanently stay a part of a person involved in a
evidence from longitudinal studies of divorce supports continuity of negative affects beyond the 2-year postdivorce crisis period in a substantial minority of ...
When he or she mention they are going through or has been through a “Divorce”, we as human beings feels sympathetic to that person. Divorce is by no means a pleasant experience to male or female. The Dictionary defines divorce as “formal separation of husband and wife according to established custom” (Dictionary). For those who have not experienced it can not be compared themselves to it. Davis talks about in his article “Marriage: Seasons of Marriage”, that marriage is a life long experience however for some the experience runs short, like myself have recently went through a divorce. “Expert or not, marriage is hard work, At times you consider quitting. Creating a lasting marriage is a humbling experience. It is part skill, part luck, elbow grease and blind determination” (Davis). It turned my life around for the better. Sometimes people change for the better when he or she experience it. Billy Collins poem Divorce, talks about a couple going through a divorce using imagery, tone and
Divorce is and has become a major issue in our society, the reason for that has been attributed to the drastic increase in divorce rates over the years. The most commonly reported major contributors to divorce were lack of commitment, infidelity, and conflict/arguing. The most common “final straw” reasons were infidelity, domestic violence, and substance use (Scott, Rhoades, Stanley, Allen, & Markman, 2013). Divorce often disrupts the flow of the family structure, increases discord, and affects how family issues are handled. Families dealing with divorce are often times in a state of complete confusion and disorder, and filled with frustration, anger, and pain. Power struggles between spouses, which often times spread to the children if there
Many different factors play into why the divorce even started to pop up in the first place.
In the United States, it is estimated all marriages end in divorce (Wetchler & Hecker, 2015). Divorces can be a drawn out and long process that not only does the couples go through, but the whole family. During a divorce, the family will transition through different emotions, behaviors, and attitudes (Wetchler & Hecker, 2015). There are three stages the family will transpire through, which are decision-making, restructuring, and recovery. It takes time and counseling to get a family successfully through divorce. Divorce on the family should be looked at through all aspects such as emotional, legal, economic, co parental, and psychic divorce (Wetchler & Hecker, 2015).
Recovering from a divorce is a distinctive process not only for each individual, but also for each gender. Divorce can be an agonizing process for men and women because there can be so many casualties in divorce—children, relatives, friends and finances. Understanding the different effects divorce has on both parties helps them both heal and face the proceedings. Emotional Coping with the emotional consequences of divorce can be traumatic and enduring. Family divorce psychologist, Renee A. Cohen, Ph.D., asserts that the grief and stress that men and women encounter in divorce is “second only to the distress suffered from the loss of a loved one through death.”
Inasmuch as it is true that divorce effects the couple it is also true that it affects everyone else around them, including family members and most importantly children. According to Merriam-Webster dictionary the definition of Divorce is “The ending of a marriage by a legal process.” The average length of marriage ending in divorce in the U.S. is eight years, while the average age of people going through their first divorce is thirty years old. From experience, the effects of divorce can be emotionally and psychologically draining and damage more than just the people directly involved. There are many thoughts on divorce and the main causes of it, the biggest of them being, infidelity, dishonesty, addiction, abuse and changes in priority and all of those causes have truth to them.
To begin, one of the leading causes of divorce is infidelity. Infidelity happens when the husband or wife decides to replace their spouse with another one secretly. In other words it is known as cheating. The reason for this is that after the spouse discovers that his or her partner is cheating, the spouse feels that he or she cannot trust the partner ever again. As the partner finds about this infidelity, he or she would definitely get these mixed and negative emotions, which are often the reason for a divorce (Meyer, n.d.). One of the emotions that the person feels is anger. A person would certainly get angry after finding out about the affair because it is considered as a violation of the vows that they took when they first got married and as damage to the marriage and relationship (Meyer, n.d.). Another emotion felt by the spouse is denial and rejection. A person feels that he or she is no longer wanted and are rejected when they discover that another replaced them (Meyer, n.d.)....