The Impact of Unwanted Divorce vs. Death of a Spouse
When someone is confronted with legal separation from the person to whom they've committed their adult life, it may seem as though their whole life is disintegrating right before their eyes, especially if they're not the one choosing the separation. The future stops existing, and only an empty present looms ahead. For some, the feelings evoked by a divorce and the issues that surround it pass relatively quickly; for others, the anguish and consequences last for years.
Many people who have suffered through the emotional trauma of divorce strongly believe that losing a spouse as a result of an unwanted divorce has had a greater impact on their emotional health and well being than losing a spouse in death. A significant number of therapists and other psychiatric professionals agree, for they understand that divorce is far more than just a legal process. (Rich and Schwartz)
Essentially, when one spouse divorces another, he or she is rejecting their partner, physically and emotionally as well as legally. This rejection can be emotionally devastating to the spouse who doesn't want a divorce, and can inflict even more psychic damage than death, for the widow or widower of a deceased spouse knows that their partner did not choose to die.
Along with these feelings of rejection, the spouse who wanted to stay married also often feels betrayed. Their partner vowed to love and honor them forever, and to stand by them in sickness and in health, and to devote their lives to them. With divorce, all of that is taken away. Those promises of love, fidelity, and companionship are broken, by the choice of the spouse pursuing the divorce. In contrast, when d...
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...d emotionally as well as legally. This rejection can be emotionally devastating to the spouse who doesn't want a divorce, and can inflict even more psychic damage than death, for the widow or widower of a deceased spouse knows that their partner did not choose to die.
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Divorce connects with the family stress theory where as stress plays a major role in the separation between the spouses and the relationships between the children. Individuals who go through a divorce can be very stressed out because it is known that divorce is one of the most stressful situations a family can go through where they have to worry and stress over a lot of stuff (Smith, 2009). When going through divorce families lose their spouses, parents, and confidante within their selves, as they are often the primary caregivers of their children. When going through the process of a divorce the family goes through a time where they have severe and mixed emotions which are made more difficult by the stresses and worries of legal and financial problems and also custody battles (Smith, 2009). Divorce has a major negative effect on the parents as well as they have to support and counsel their children who may be involved in the process and are suffering too. Families who are going through a divorce or a parental divorce if it is the spouses or the children are going to experience series of emotional stages due to the post-breakdown (Smith, 2009). Stress from divorce can lead from anger and depression to fear and frustration. Also, families who are coping and managing all the tasks associated with divorce can also lead to anxiety, panic, and depression. The spouses who are straightly involved in the divorce experience different ranges of emotions as they being adults direct the daily tasks and responsibilities of living under the circumstances of a divorce (Smith, 2009). Due to the divorce the required rearrangement of the family especially if children are involved will affect every aspect of the daily...
Divorce becomes unpleasing, but also the best option for the family. Kingsolver claims, “Disassembling a marriage in these circumstances is as much fun as amputating your own gangrenous leg. You do it if you can, to save a life-or two, or more.” (Kingsolver, 2014, p. 222). The majority of the time divorce takes place, it becomes a necessary break. Kingsolver describes divorce as amputating a gangrenous leg. The leg, if left intact, will slowly shut down the body. A family is considered a body, and each member of the family has responsibilities, such as the body. When a certain part of the body destroys the other parts, elimination rolls into effect to save the remaining family body. Not only does divorce lead to a broken bond in the spouses, it also leads to broken friendships. Rather than being shunned, divorced families should receive love. Kingsolver claims, “In the wake of my divorce, some friends (even a few close ones) chose to vanish.” (Kingsolver, 2014, p. ?). Kingsolver during, and after her divorce, lost many of what she believed were her best friends. Sadly, some friends decide to leave during a time when friends should be near; divorce, especially during the beginning, hurts. Why would anyone want to receive the outcomes of divorce, such as losing friends, and family? Divorce becomes necessary. Anyone, in his or her right mind, would only go
Everybody grieves at the death of a loved one or close friends differently. The loss of somebody that was close to you is never an easy thing to get over. You never know how long somebody will be in your life. Death has no timetable, and you’ll never know when you or somebody will die. There’s a chance that I might not finish this essay, and theres a chance that I might not have a family, or a chance for me to live my life to the fullest but I have to live my life without letting that hold me back. How does somebody deal with the death of a family member or friend when their relationship ended on a bad note due to an argument? Elisabeth Kübler-Ross compliments matters further when she writes, “A husband and wife may have been fighting for years, but when the partner dies, the survivor will pull his hair, whine and cry louder and beat ...
Divorce is prevalent in many parts of the developed world, it has been estimated that roughly 50% of marriages in America up until the 1980’s ended in divorce (Rutter). Divorce is arguably a personal hardship for both partners and their children, in that the stress of the divorce places both men and women at varying risks of psychological and physical health problems (Hetherington, Stanley-Hagan and Anderson 1989). However, using C. Wright mills’ definition of the “Sociological Imagination” we begin to view divorce as not just a personal problem of a particular man or woman, but as a societal concern that affects a wider category of people at a personal level. Therefore this essay will examine the societal structures which contribute to divorce
From this example, we can say that often couples are frustrated with their immediate disappointments and want to take divorce. However, in their immediacy, they can’t see or remember a long term effect of their decision. In this research paper, I wanted to raise three questions about family divorce and answer them in order they are raised.
Divorce is and has become a major issue in our society, the reason for that has been attributed to the drastic increase in divorce rates over the years. Divorce often disrupts the flow of the family structure, increases discord, and affects how family issues are handled. Families dealing with divorce are often times in a state of complete confusion and disorder, and filled with frustration, anger, and pain. Power struggles between spouses, which often times spread to the children if there any increase as the addiction worsens. There is a growing concernment among those in different fields like Social Work, Academia, and Mental Health in the United States, other countries, who have taken an interest in how divorce is readjusting
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Divorce should be harder to obtain due to the effect that it has on children the main effect it has on the children is depression. “ In the short term divorce is always troublesome for children Mavis Hetherington videotaped and scrutinized the workings of 1400 divorced families since the early 1970’s. Hetherington pinpoints a crisis period of about two years in the immediate aftermath of separation when the adults, preoccupied with their own lives, typically takes their eye off parenting just when their children are reeling from loss and feeling bewildered” (Hethrington 2). This article states that the short term effect of divorce affects the kid deep because they feel that they lost one forever and in those 1400 many of the kids felt the effect of the divorce. “Wallerstein has told us that divorce abruptly ends kids’ childhood, filling it with loneliness and worry about their parents, and hurting them prematurely and recklessly into adolescence. (Wallerstein 2).” This later affects the kids life because they try to think of happy memories they had but really all they can think about is the parent that they loss due to the divorce. “Contrary to the popular perceptions, the alternative to most divorces is not life in a war zone. Though more than 50 percent of all marriages currently end in divorce, experts tell us that only about 15 percent of all unions involve high levels of conflict. In the vast number of divorces, then, there is no gross strife or violence that could warp a youngster’s childhood. The majority of marital break-ups are driven by a quest for greener grass—and in these cases the children will almost always be worse off. (Zinsmeister 2)” this proves to me that when people get a divorce they most of the time don’t ...
Divorce is a very common word in today's society. According to the American Heritage Dictionary, "divorce is the legal dissolution of a marriage or a complete or radical severance of closely connected things"(Pickett, 2000). This dissolution of marriage has increased very rapidly in the past fifty years. In 1950 the ratio of divorce to marriage was one in every four; in 1977 that statistic became one in two. Currently one in every two first marriages results in divorce. In second marriages that figure is considerably higher, with a 67% average (National Vital Statistics Report, 2001). One critical aspect of divorce is often not taken into consideration: How it affects children. Every year 1.1 million children are affected by divorce (Benjamin, 2000). Children from divorce or separation often exhibit behavioral and long-term adjustment problems (Kelly, 2000). Throughout this paper I will discuss divorces effects on children at different age levels, how they react, and what can be done to help them.
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It is unfortunate that marriages sometimes end and there are children caught in the middle of the marriage but it may be worst for the parents to stay together simply for the children’s sake. However when parents do divorce the children are the most effected by the divorce. Often enough the divorce causes children to feel displaced and also to have feelings that their world is coming to an end. These children tend to grow into adults with either extreme emotional detachment and self-esteem issues or they will have strong family values and try to prevent the cycle from repeating itself but the majority of these children grow up suffering from the divorce.
apart so soon is heart- rending. Death is a terrible experience that no one wants to go through.
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