Doctor Dobson Divorce

Divorce is sweeping across the nation in Christian homes as well as homes that are secular. The majority of these divorce cases occur due to infidelity that has taken place or is taking place in the marriage. Doctor James Dobson takes a look at why divorce rate is so high and offers solutions to those who are on the brink of a divorce. He firmly believes that any marriage is worth saving and every effort should be put forth to stop a divorce from taking place even if one of the spouses has admitted to being unfaithful. Doctor Dobson first looks at the reactions of a spouse when they find out that their marriage is beginning to slip away because their mate is involved in an affair. Across the board in all the cases he has studied or personally

The faithful spouse must be tough and stand up to the unfaithful spouse if the marriage will be saved and adultery prevented from happening. As we discussed already the natural response of the rejected spouse is to beg, plead, or become a doormat, but these approaches will only serve to confuse the unfaithful spouse more. If however pulls back and maintains a confident, independent composure the cool spouse will begin to rethink his decisions of unfaithfulness and wishing to leave. “The third change occurs not in the mind of the cool spouse but in the mind of the vulnerable one. Incredibly, he feels better- somehow more in control of the situation.” The vulnerable person begins to respect themselves instead of relying on their partner to fulfil their needs of being wanted. Taking the independent confident approach is not easy, but with prayer and a Christian counselor the vulnerable spouse can learn how to use tough love to save his or her marriage. Doctor Dobson advocates that the vulnerable spouse should force the crisis to a head in most situations of infidelity and clearly draw the lines of what he will do if his spouse is unfaithful again. The vulnerable spouse must then be willing to care out those ultimatums or the unfaithful spouse will simply continue to walk over the other as a doormat. “Just as toddlers and teenagers will challenge authority of their parents

While these topics are dealt with more extensively in other books he has written tough love is still critical in these areas which also may affect a marriage relationship. He does include sixteen guidelines that he feels dating couples should follow; he remarks that if these guidelines are followed the basis of a healthy marriage will be well underway. One that was especially pertinent was number “12. Be careful to defend the “line of respect,” even during a dating relationship.” Not only does respect matter in marriage relationships it matters in almost every other relationship in a person’s life. The person who has a healthy self-respect that comes from the knowledge they are one of God’s children will in turn be respected by the people around