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In today’s society, infidelity is one of the leading causes of marital disruption and divorce. In accordance with societal norms many myths have been associated with infidelity. The following myths and their effects on marriage will be discussed: Everyone has affairs, the affair is the direct result of the faithful mate and, the marriage must end in divorce. In examining the various myths, this paper will challenge the greater issue, can marriage survive infidelity?
There was a time when more smart-conscious decisions were made relating to sexual relationships. In particular, sexual relationships within a marriage. However, times have changed. The pillars that hold up our individual sexual values have started to crumble. It is estimated that two out of three marriages fail due to infidelity. This is a scary statistic considering that people believe a marriage can survive infidelity. This brings us to our first myth: Everyone has affairs.
People tend to associate with others who share the same values and morals as they do. People who are unfaithful tend to assume that everyone is, while those who remain faithful tend to believe that extramarital affairs are unusual. Since infidelity takes on several different forms, it is appropriate to consider the fact that many people believe that this sort of behaviour would be considered acceptable.
The first form of adultery is Accidental Infidelity. This can happen to the more careless person, but at the same time, to the person whose values and commitments are tenuous. They lack self-control and respect for both themselves and their spouse. Any situation where they are left alone with the opposite sex is an opportunity for an “accident” to occur. It was shocking to find out that most cases of infidelity occur with couples who are less than twenty -five years old, one would have thought early marriages where happy and care free (figure one).
The second form of adultery is the Romantic Affair. This is usually considered the most disruptive affair because it involves such intense feelings and is a big threat to a marriage. The Romantic Affair usually occurs at a point of crisis in a marriage and is short-lived; it usually burns out quickly.
The last type of affair that is common in several relationships is Philandering. It is known as co...
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... Imagine how difficult it would be to trust one’s spouse again. It would be like starting all over. Many believe that “once a cheat always a cheat”, people who have several affairs have a higher divorce rate (figure 7). One would have to put forth time, and effort to restore something that they did not destroy. All of the years of marriage, all that was shared and considered sacred is gone. How can one be expected to believe that the affair was an isolated incident that never took place earlier on in the marriage? It is with all of these doubts and unanswered questions that it becomes evident that adultery destroys marriages and therefore marriage cannot survive infidelity. Infidelity not only destroys marriages, it also destroys families. Children turn away from their mothers or fathers, and it is at that point that the marriage should be considered null and void. The possibility of a marriage being able to survive infidelity is far fetched. Therefore, the answer to the question: ‘can marriage survive infidelity’ is evident.
It simply cannot, too much has been lost. Perhaps Edgar Allan Poe sums it up best: “Years of love have been forgot in the hatred of a minute.”
By applying Barbara Fredrickson work to the society that we live in today, there is lots of infidelity in marriages. Here is another source “Mhere Extra Marital Affair Detail Emerge.” This is about a man who had been in extra marital affairs. His wife found message in his phone that revealed a passionate affairs with another woman. When he misplaced his phone and couldn’t find it he threatened to beat her. Fortunate for his wife, she found the phone while cleaning up the house and read all the messages that proved to her that he was cheating on her with his backing vocalist. Barbara Fredrickson explains “If you have come to view love as a commitment, promise, or pledge, through marriage or any other loyalty ritual, prepare for an about face. I need you to step back prom al your preconception and consider an upgrade” (107). In this light Fredrickson wants us to understand that love should not be compare to anything, and being committed in a relationship
In this paper I am writing about marriage and infidelity in modern life and the books we have read in class. Marriage is a mutual bond in which a man and a woman decide to be with each other until they die. Infidelity is basically when the man or woman in a relationship cheat on the other person, without them knowing.
Is advertising the ultimate means to inform and help us in our everyday decision-making or is it just an excessively powerful form of mass deception used by companies to persuade their prospects and customers to buy products and services they do not need? Consumers in the global village are exposed to increasing number of advertisement messages and spending for advertisements is increasing accordingly.
In today’s society, adultery is not viewed as it would have been viewed back in the 1600’s. Adultery is defined as a voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a person who is not his or her spouse. In society today, people understand that it is not right to commit adultery, despite knowing that it is often done more. Adultery is committed more now, in the view of its not a punishable act, as it was in the 1600’s. Committing adultery in the 1600’s was considered committing one of the sins that can not be forgiven. Many people were killed for this type of act, however as generations past people begin to view adultery differently.
A man has been married to his wife for seven years. The couple has two beautiful children, a fabulous home, and appear to have the perfect marriage. After the husband leaves work one afternoon, he decides to stop in at the local bar. The man sits at a table in the corner of the room. Not long after his arrival, a woman approaches him. She asks the man if she can join him at his table. The two seem to have quite a bit in common and enjoy each other’s company. The woman asks if he would like to go back to her apartment. He has not had a fight with his wife today. In fact, she surprised him with a love note in his briefcase. Their sex life is enjoyable, frequent, and without complaint. The couple is not currently having financial problems. Despite this, why did the man decide to leave with a stranger and cheat on his wife? A great deal of research has been carried out on the topic of infidelity. Marital therapists have reported that more than half of the couples they counsel are in therapy as a result of infidelity (Atkins, Jacobson citation). Therapists also consider an extramarital affair as, “one of the most damaging relationship events and one of the most difficult problems to treat in couples therapy” (whisman predicting sexual infidelity…). Some therapists estimate that 50% to 65% of couples seek help after an incident of infidelity in their relationship (Atkins, Jacobson & Baucom). Identifying the reasons for this problem are essential to the success of its reduction. Infidelity is not a new phenomenon. However, there was little research on the topic until the late 1970’s (Drigotas & Barta, 2001). Numerous factors have been examined while trying to determine the root cause for extramarital relationships a...
...sh and adore. However, next time, do not let yourself be so easily grabbed by the catchy musical numbers and seemingly revolutionary story that is told. Yes, Mulan is an unorthodox heroine who changes all the rules, but she does so by conforming to a flawed system and affecting change from the inside, under the guise of a man. In lieu of doing it as a woman, it is not as girl power filled as many of us would like to believe. She, for the most part, affects all of this change as a man. Once she’s discovered, all her hard work in the training and the relationships she’s forged are all tossed to the wind and she’s quickly relegated back to her place as a lowly woman. However, despite its flawed execution in being a girl power story, it embodies a quintessential feel-good, be true to your heart film that will leave you wanting to affect change in the world around you.
Many times people are tested every day and struggle with the moral duty with what is right and what is wrong. For example Many Americans are married with children and know that entering the sanctity of marriage, understanding that no man or woman shall come between them. However, many marriages end on the bases of adultery between one or the other. Knowing and understanding as young adults that committing adultery is wrong. Many Americans still continue to cheat on their spouse. Knowing the moral value of marriage, but still risk breaking the value of marriage. During this moral dilemma of adultery, many wrong doings have been violated, such as dishonesty that comes with adultery and the moral commitment that was taken for granted. Other ethic principles are violated when one or the other commits adultery. Trust issues will arise if a person has been caught committing destructive ethical act. Violation from using household money to commit adultery for outings, hotel stay, buying gifts. Along with other financial necessity to commit adultery. Quality time spent away from family while committing adultery is also an ethical violation in the sanctity of marriage. Even abuse of alcohol could be a factor in
It is widely believed that men and women respond differently to infidelity in the way they think and act (Buss, Larsen, Westen & Semmelroth, 1992; Takahashi et al., 2006; Walum et al., 2013). Past research has found that women tend to report more
In short story “The Cheater’s Guide to Love,” written by Junot Diaz, we observe infidelity and the negative effects it has on relationships. Anyone who cheats will eventually get caught and will have to deal with the consequences. People tend to overlook the fact that most relationships are unlikely to survive after infidelity. Trust becomes an issue after someone has been unfaithful. Yunior, the main character in this story, encounters conflict as he struggles to move on with his life after his fiancée discovers that he has been unfaithful. Over a six-year period, the author reveals how his unfaithfulness has an effect on his health and his relationships.
Claude Fischer the author of Sweet Land of Conformity erroneously makes the claim that, “Our culture consists that if you marry… you are signing an explicit or implicit contract to cooperate and conform.” We feel that as Americans, people tend to stray from this ideal; this is portrayed through divorce and infidelity. In today’s corrupt society, when you marry, you are expected to be loyal based on an, “explicit or implicit contract.” But as time goes by and people become less interested and involved with their partners, we see that this claim is not true. The twisted love triangle that occurred between Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston, and Brad Pitt in 2005 demonstrates an example of infidelity which led to divorce. While Brad Pitt was married
Doctor Dobson first looks at the reactions of a spouse when they find out that their marriage is beginning to slip away because their mate is involved in an affair. Across the board in all the cases he has studied or personally
Calfee, John E. "How Advertising Informs to Our Benefit." Consumers' Research Magazine. (April 1998). American Enterprise Institute. 1 Jan 2000 .
Infidelity is depicted as an extremely negative thing in the United States, and is often blamed for trust issues, psychologically damaging the spouse and their children, tearing apart marriages and families and more. People who commit adultery are often shamed and told how wrong what they did is and what a terrible person they are for doing it. According to the Journal of Martial and Family by the Associated Press, however, 41% of “marriages where one or both spouses admit to infidelity, either physical or emotional.” Clearly, while infidelity is generally viewed negative by society, many people either decide that it is not as negative as it is portrayed, or do not care and do it anyway. “The Lady with the Pet Dog” and “The Storm” both go against the typical view of adultery being a negative thing in a relationship by showing that it can actually have a beneficial outcome and leave some, if not all people happier.
In the United States, marriage is a commitment two people make for the rest of their lives. The average American marriage lasts seven years. Well over half of all marriages end in divorce (Francouer, 72). Statistics in the infidelity have rose fifty percent since the 1970s and is rising all the time. The divorce count in this country is now up to one out of every three-marriage end in divorce. Serial polygamy is a common lifestyle for those who are divorced and then become remarried. The relationship between a husband and wife should be sacred and trustworthy. Without the trust and honesty there is no marriage. Monogamy is the loving, sharing, and devoting one's self to another person for the rest of their life. Monogamy should be the most important aspect in a marriage.
Mulan seems to be a feminist film which encourages individual women to take care of themselves. However, the film is not free from traditional gender roles. While the film may be progressive by removing the "damsel in distress" plot, further analysis shows it isn’t a feminist film at all. Disney’s Mulan reinforces a black and white societal role of gender that privilege men over women. In contrast the poem is incredibly progressive, it shows a woman fighting just as well as men and men accepting her as a powerful warrior not being jealous of her power. The poem removes gender roles whereas the Disney movie reinforces them.